View Full Version : Is it love, or obsession?
10-16-2011, 03:15 AM
I'm in a pinch. I don't know what i'm doing now.
For a while now, I thought loving something is to think about it, wishing to be around it. Thinking about it all the time, and hoping for the best... but the more I think I love something, it feels like i'm obsessing rather then love.
What is the difference? where is the point of no return? I'm just not too sure right now.
10-16-2011, 03:20 AM
I remember reading once a quote that went, "Love without depending."
Depending, as in, needing it to get through or survive. That's what I would call an obsession or the "bad kind" of love.
When you truly feel strongly towards someone, it's supposed to feel good and not like a heavy burden (i.e. I DUNNO WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT YOU, I'M SO SAD). Obsessions are like heavy burdens, IMO.
Most people on here don't understand what love is because all they've experienced are flings and obsessions. If you ever truly love someone, you will always love them even if you break up, even if they die. It's something that will never leave you. You don't stop loving someone. If you do, then you never loved them to begin with.
Most people are far too carefree with saying they love someone...
10-16-2011, 05:03 AM
Well everyone has their own definition of "love". For my mind I see it as "someone or something that you are comfortable being with for the rest of your life", but somehow the "love for the rest of your life" is hard or impossible to happen. Mostly due to how people will change their feelings toward it over time.
Example: You are MADLY inlove with this person but your feeling could change when he/she
- know more about them, and you dont feel comfortable
- their personality changed (mostly due to psychological reason)
- lose interest
- did/does something that tick you off
- I really cant think of anything else right now
But my point is your obsession towards them switch around over time (hours,days,months, years)
My experience, Its hard for me to be "in love" with someone due to responsibilities I have in life and me personally describing it as "having a cat to feed". Last time I remember falling in love was back in middle school. But there are times when I question myself "am I lonely?" At the end I never find describe myself "lonely" due to my daily interact with friends and other people. I actually like being alone.
Now for your question, I dont really understand, what are you obssessed with exactly?
10-16-2011, 10:32 AM
You do have to define the very definition of love though.
There are two kinds. Both intertwine of course.
One caused by chemical reactions in our body for a specific other, which causes our heart to skip a beat when we think about someone. We'll think about the person all day, and shake our rational thinking to disrupt our logic about the person. Its a reproductive feature of our body that causes us to find mates. This is dangerous because your body can be tricked into having this reaction, and with our reasoning clouded we will often times find a person to be "the one for me".
The best way to tell if this is the case or not is through time alone. Spend a good amount of time with the person (maybe around half a year at minimum, I'd even say two to three years), and if you still feel the same afterwards then you know there's a pretty good chance that it will be a successful relationship.
The other kind of love isn't so emotional, but rather places values on different objects (in the strict sense of the words, can be anything from something inanimate like a car, a living being, or even a concept). We tried as a society to place a monetary value on everything, but human minds aren't so simple. We have another system of assessing the worth of an object, where in which we make trade offs with the things we love for another thing that we love.
"What must I give up, or sacrifice, in order to retain this object which I so love?"
The more you love something, the more you're willing to give up for it, or its well being. Do not confuse this with necessities. A person who has been stranded on a desert for days will pay anything he has for a bottle of water, but this is not love. Love is our approach towards something optional, or something that has become seemingly optional through advancements in society.
Often times we price love with a part of ourselves. How much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice?
If the two forms of love combine to its highest degree, you will come to the conclusion "I will do anything for this person, even give my entire life for their sake". At this point love transcends option, and what you have is something you must pursue at all costs.
It might be corny and silly to refer to a movie for this type of discussion, but given the entire theme of the Matrix Trilogy is love, there are some good parts of it I can quote from.
terrible video sync, but it makes the point
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