RicochetOrange
07-12-2010, 03:12 PM
EDIT: ****ing iPhone. It put stars instead of spaces.
How is my writing? This is a scene for a story idea. Basically there is a rebellion against the king and a group of villans comes in and takes the throne. It's strongly influnced by anime aswell as fantasy novels and stuff.
And*there*they*were.*As*we*entered*the*throne*room ,*much*to*our*suprise,*the*king*was*nowhere*to*be* seen,*instead,*sitting*in*the*throne,*was*a*small* bald*man*in*a*white*coat*and*large*glasses.*Around *and*all*behind*him,*were*30*knights*of*all*shapes *and*sizes.*Some*large,*some*strong,*some*female,* all*armed*with*weapons,*and*all*looking*straight*a t*our*small*group.*The*small*bald*man*stood*up,*he *wore*black*pants*and*black*shoes.*His*glasses*shi ned*in*the*light*coming*from*the*small*windows.*He *smiled*and*raised*his*hands,*he*held*the*kings*se ptere*and*crown.*Our*rebellion*had*failed,*this*ma n*had*killed*the*king.*The*knight*standing*next*to *him*stepped*forward.*His*armor*was*rusty*and*dull ,*it*was*even*missing*sections,*which*he*covered*w ith*white*cloth.*The*small*decorational*tip*on*the *top*of*his*helmet*was*broken,*and*there*was*more* white*cloth*wrapped*around*his*head.*He*looked*bli nd,*and*injured,*obviously*not*someone*who*should* be*involved*in*battle.*The*knight*raised*his*hand* and*spoke.
"I*am*Waltz,*the*Audio*Knight,*under*the*order*of*D octor*before*you.*You*wish*to*challenge*the*Doctor ,*then*I*must*first*test*you*abilities!*Come!*Show *me*your*strength!"
Then*we*attacked,*swords*and*arrows*flying.*I*don' t*know*how*it*happened,*but*every*one*of*our*attac ks*missed,*he*took*the*small*handbell*off*of*his*b elt,*and*with*one*small*movement*of*his*arm,*every thing*went*black.*The*first*rebellion*was*over.*It *was*now*time,*for*a*second*one.
/attemptatredeemingmyself
How is my writing? This is a scene for a story idea. Basically there is a rebellion against the king and a group of villans comes in and takes the throne. It's strongly influnced by anime aswell as fantasy novels and stuff.
And*there*they*were.*As*we*entered*the*throne*room ,*much*to*our*suprise,*the*king*was*nowhere*to*be* seen,*instead,*sitting*in*the*throne,*was*a*small* bald*man*in*a*white*coat*and*large*glasses.*Around *and*all*behind*him,*were*30*knights*of*all*shapes *and*sizes.*Some*large,*some*strong,*some*female,* all*armed*with*weapons,*and*all*looking*straight*a t*our*small*group.*The*small*bald*man*stood*up,*he *wore*black*pants*and*black*shoes.*His*glasses*shi ned*in*the*light*coming*from*the*small*windows.*He *smiled*and*raised*his*hands,*he*held*the*kings*se ptere*and*crown.*Our*rebellion*had*failed,*this*ma n*had*killed*the*king.*The*knight*standing*next*to *him*stepped*forward.*His*armor*was*rusty*and*dull ,*it*was*even*missing*sections,*which*he*covered*w ith*white*cloth.*The*small*decorational*tip*on*the *top*of*his*helmet*was*broken,*and*there*was*more* white*cloth*wrapped*around*his*head.*He*looked*bli nd,*and*injured,*obviously*not*someone*who*should* be*involved*in*battle.*The*knight*raised*his*hand* and*spoke.
"I*am*Waltz,*the*Audio*Knight,*under*the*order*of*D octor*before*you.*You*wish*to*challenge*the*Doctor ,*then*I*must*first*test*you*abilities!*Come!*Show *me*your*strength!"
Then*we*attacked,*swords*and*arrows*flying.*I*don' t*know*how*it*happened,*but*every*one*of*our*attac ks*missed,*he*took*the*small*handbell*off*of*his*b elt,*and*with*one*small*movement*of*his*arm,*every thing*went*black.*The*first*rebellion*was*over.*It *was*now*time,*for*a*second*one.
/attemptatredeemingmyself