A Memory

[Yuminia]

You wake up screaming one day, the sound of your voice like the death of a child to a mother. Your throat is so hoarse and you wonder what nightmare you have just woken up from. But it isn't a nightmare that seems to have haunted you, but a past memory that seems to be in a continual loop. Playing over and over when you go to sleep.

It's the nightmare that seems to haunt you from the most life changing experience and the one that messed up your mind, your soul, and your heart. It isn't like there is anything to stop it, minus the calmness of someone's love and kindred heart that can tell you that it's alright and okay. But, then again, who will ever find the spirit that can calm down your dreams and memories?

You get up, you go through your routine of getting ready for the day. Your eyes only see that grayness that surrounds everything from that point on and you just go along. It's summer, so at least you don't have to worry about friends bugging you to go out to play, when that's the last spot you want to go. Watching television as your sister busiest herself about, tuning most of it out, you are just sitting there, watching, listening, afraid of everything that is going on. Wondering, when is it going to happen again?

There is nothing that anyone can say to help you. Your sister watches you as though she wishes she could take your pain away. But you know, and she knows, that she cannot and that just makes it harder for you to move on. Something cracks outside and you jump, ready to run for your life, when it just so happens that it was a truck going by. But it still put you on edge and now you cannot rest.

The day goes on. Eating, going to the restroom, and tuning everything out as you have for the past four weeks. Finally, night falls and it's too hot in your house to go upstairs and sleep. So downstairs you are, on the loveseat, facing the picture window, trying to get to sleep.

You can't, cause the nightmare plagues you and you watch as the time slips by. Slips right threw your fingers and you cannot grasp it. Shadows play chase and you watch everyone of them, wondering which one is going to turn into something realer and finally pounce. This is your nightmare, this is your living breathing dream that you have to go through every day. The one where someone wishes they could help, but nothing beyond can. You are the tortured piece of item now with a broken spirit and soul, waiting for that kindred spirit that will calm you down enough so that you can finally get some sort of rest.



Something based on something else based on something. Lol, lots of somethings. Tell me what you think. Kinda an assignment, kinda not.

[Kazuni]

The overall thing is nice, but I saw some grammar errors and a few fragments throughout the whole thing. Some sentences don't knit together as well as they could.

Some bits were repetitive, and the adjectives used were slightly overused in general (as in for all writers, not just within this piece).


But I really like it.

[Yuminia]

Hey for writing it in like 3.5 minutes and not really going through and editing, I thought it was pretty good. But ya, some things do need fix. I like over using a lot of words. Like in this piece it is 'it's' But thank you nonetheless. I like critiques.