My complaint about Tatsu

[Trevor]

In this letter, I will do my best to make my arguments against Tatsu clear and articulate. I plan to utilize numerous examples and maybe even some occasional humor so as not to strain your patience as I delve into immense detail about how Tatsu's trained seals employ carefully developed psychological techniques to provide cover for a horny agenda. I assume you already know that Tatsu carries the seeds of her own self-destruction so let me begin this letter by remarking that Tatsu's primary goal is to propound ideas that are widely perceived as representing outright Dadaism. All of her other objectives are secondary to this one supreme purpose. That's why you must always remember that Tatsu somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that she is omnipotent. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization.

Tatsu's reportages have paid off: Already, Tatsu has had some success in her efforts to use psychological tools to trick us into doing whatever Tatsu requires of us. If my memory serves me correctly, I realize that some people may have trouble reading this letter. Granted, not everyone knows what "preterdiplomatically" means, but it's nevertheless easy to understand that Tatsu will advocate fatalistic acceptance of an uninformed new world order before long. When that event happens, a darkness and evil exceeding anything seen in history will descend over the world. I can hope only that before it does, people will speak out against contumelious drug addicts. Only then can we break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom.

At the risk of belaboring the obvious, Tatsu uses the word "hippopotomonstrosesquipidelian" to justify convincing innocent children to follow a path that leads only to a life of crime, disappointment, and destruction. In doing so, she is reversing the meaning of that word as a means of disguising the fact that she should stop calling me a rebarbative master of deceit. Although I've been called worse things by better people, Tatsu's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Tatsu's cronies, who loudly proclaim that the Earth is flat. Regardless of those domineering proclamations, the truth is that I act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to change the minds of those who let down ladders that the uncontrollable, puerile, and officious scramble to climb. It's also why I say that I have observed that those who disagree with me on the next point tend to be unsophisticated and those who recognize the validity of the point to be more educated. The point is that daft slanderers fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units. That said, we mustn't lose sight of who the real enemy is: Tatsu and her chthonic agents provocateurs.

You should be sure to let me know your ideas about how to deal with Tatsu. I am eager to listen to your ideas and I hope that I can grasp their essentials, evaluate their potential, look for flaws, provide suggestions, absorb feedback, suggest improvements, and then put the ideas into effect. Only then can we rub Tatsu's nose in her own hypocrisy.

Tatsu has repeatedly indicated a desire to encourage and exacerbate passivity in some people who might otherwise be active and responsible citizens. Is that the sound of rarefied respectability that Tatsu's flacks so frequently attribute to Tatsu? The brown-nosing blathering of a venom-spouting slubberdegullion is more like it. In fact, I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to invite all the people who have been harmed by Tatsu to continue to express and assert their concerns in a constructive and productive fashion. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that deconstructionism is arguably the most frightening and devastating problem facing us all. An equal but opposite observation is that my cause is to break the spell of great expectations that now binds possession-obsessed sandbaggers to Tatsu. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Tatsu's policies. It applies to everything she says and does. Now that I've told you what I think, let me end this letter by stating that I fully intend to exercise all of our basic rights to the maximum. Let Tatsu tremble. And though the heavens fall, let there be justice.

[Wing]

TL;DR

[Kueh]

Translation

Tastu doesn't think my voice is totally sexy like Rain's

QQ

[Pierce]

I agree.

[Trevor]

Translation

Tastu doesn't think my voice is totally sexy like Rain's

QQ

I am writing to let you know that I have a concern regarding Mr. Why Rain Falls's loquacious, piteous ideologies. The key point of the following exposition is that Mr. Falls would have us believe that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. Not surprisingly, his evidence for that thoroughly officious claim is top-heavy with anonymous sources and, to put it mildly, he has a checkered track record for accuracy. I insist it would be more accurate for Mr. Falls to say that his band appears to be growing in number. I definitely pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction, yet I keep reminding myself that some people have said that there are other strains of sesquipedalianism active today, and the siren calls of those movements may mesmerize intrusive, dotty mouthpieces for dysfunctional clericalism whose unsympathetic behavior blinds them to historical lessons. Maybe. But I'm more inclined to believe that I've tried to explain to Mr. Falls's bloodthirsty devotees that Mr. Falls's deeds are a pitiful jumble of incoherent nonsense. As could be expected, they were a bit slow on the uptake. I just couldn't get them to comprehend that Mr. Falls's vassals argue that we have too much freedom. These are the same soporific, duplicitous scatterbrains who use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to convince impressionable young people that he knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. This is no coincidence; when I was younger I wanted to shout back at Mr. Falls's propaganda. I still want to do that, but now I realize that he's a hard worker. Mr. Falls works hard to prevent anyone from commenting on his smarmy biases. This is of course most illuminating, but what if we wish to engage rather in eristic search for truth, or in heuristic debate, or perhaps in paromologetic illation? In my experience, if Mr. Falls thinks that people are pawns to be used and manipulated then maybe he should lay off the wacky tobacky.

Many, many people have been hurt by Mr. Falls for daring to think outside the box. In fact, there are so many such people that even listing their names would take more space than I can afford in this letter. In their honor, though, I will say that Mr. Falls's mercenaries have tried repeatedly to assure me that Mr. Falls will eventually tire of his plan to legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity and will then step aside and let us challenge the soft bigotry of low expectations. When that will happen is unclear—probably sometime between "don't hold your breath" and "beware of flying pigs". His objective is clear: to eroticize relations of dominance and subordination sooner or later. I can't possibly believe Mr. Falls's claim that he holds a universal license that allows him to waffle on all the issues. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what Mr. Falls does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why Mr. Falls keeps trying to bring Bulverism to this country in the name of anti-Bulverism. And if we don't remain eternally vigilant, he will certainly succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don't speak or correspond with shameless tax cheats, Mr. Falls's patsies, or anyone else who fails to realize that Mr. Falls would not hesitate to revile everything in the most obscene terms and drag it into the filth of the basest possible outlook if he felt he could benefit from doing so.

Mr. Falls has tried caricaturing and stereotyping people from other cultures. He has also tried leading us, lemminglike, over the precipice of self-destruction. Why does Mr. Falls do such things? The answer is almost absolutely obvious—this isn't rocket science, you know. The key is that Mr. Falls's approach is generally to seize upon an anecdote or a narrow and limited manifestation and/or purpose, and then totally blow it out of proportion to justify his surly, predaceous equivocations. No, scratch that. Let me instead make the much stronger claim that Mr. Falls contends that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. Sounds rather infantile, doesn't it? Well, that's Mr. Falls for you.

A more fundamental problem is that I am burning to know what sorts of paltry, twisted reasons exist in the heads of those who enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values. The sooner he comes to grips with that reality, the better for all of us. There appears to be some disagreement in the community regarding the number of times that Mr. Falls has been seen eroding constitutional principles that have shaped our society and remain at the core of our freedom and liberty. Some say once; some say five times; some say a dozen times or more. The point is not to quibble over numbers or anything like that but rather to clarify that Mr. Falls's janissaries say, "Everything will be hunky-dory if we let Mr. Falls interfere with my efforts to provide you with a holistic and thematic history of his nefarious invectives." Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that if you hear Mr. Falls spouting off about how individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin, you should tell him that he should reserve his stereotypes and labels and remember to treat others with a bit more respect and equality. Better yet, tell him to stop getting his opinions from mealymouthed, noxious treacherous-types and start doing some research of his own.

The next time someone says that censorship could benefit us, look that person right in the eye and reply, "Mankind, with all of its accumulated knowledge, wonderful machines, scientific methods, and material power, still has much to fear from base-minded beggars like Mr. Falls." Please note that when I finish writing this letter you might not hear from me again for a while. I simply don't have enough strength left to unveil the semiotic patterns that he utilizes to replace intellectual integrity with socially inept sloganeering. Nevertheless, while Mr. Falls manufactures crises over blackguardism, his conformism movement has been creating an atmosphere of mistrust in which speculations and rumors gain the appearance of viability and compete openly with more carefully considered theories. His arguments are becoming increasingly unprincipled. They have already begun to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Mr. Falls to prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of our culture. If you don't want such a time to come then help me discuss, openly and candidly, a vision for a harmonious, multiracial society. Help me shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity. Let me close where I began: Marxism, in this case, is a tactic tied to a broader strategy of granting Mr. Why Rain Falls the ability to bombard me with insults.

[Kueh]

Translation

That's exactly it.

QQ

[Tatsu]

What's with people and complaint generators lately?

[Trevor]

Translation

That's exactly it.

QQ

Translation:

Some of my colleagues recommended that I write a letter about how QQ often recruits uncontrollable publishers of hate literature who bring to QQ's cause new energy and a willingness to goad peevish, daft nitwits into hurling epithets at his adversaries. This is that letter. Let me preface my discussion by quickly reasserting a familiar theme of my previous letters: Once one begins thinking about free speech, about peremptory, deceitful foppotees who use ostracism and public opinion to prevent the airing of views contrary to their own disloyal beliefs, one realizes that I have in fact told him that we must stand united as free, sovereign individuals and improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come. Unfortunately, there really wasn't anything to his response. I suppose QQ just doesn't want to admit that everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of QQ". In it, I chronicle all of QQ's press releases from the wretched to the lousy and conclude that if QQ bites me I will bite back.

QQ argues that I am maladroit for wanting to show him how he is as wrong as wrong can be. I should point out that this is almost the same argument that was made against Copernicus and Galileo almost half a millennium ago. I feel this way because there is a format he should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.

Do you understand the implications of what I have been telling you? Are you awake? Then you probably realize that if I hear QQ's subordinates say, "It's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong" one more time, I'm going to throw up. I mean, QQ operates on an international scale to make us too confused, demoralized, and disunited to put up an effective opposition to his apothegms. It's only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale, but to beat QQ at his own game.

QQ's claim that narcissism is the only alternative to interventionism requires a willing suspension of disbelief, an ability to set logic aside and accept any preposterous notion that QQ throws at us. Nothing offends him more than the truth. And let me tell you, he wants us to feel sorry for the pompous, filthy vulgarians who combine the most sordid avarice with the most invincible hatred of the very people who tolerate and enrich him. I avouch we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that some people are responsible and others are not. QQ falls into the category of "not". Will someone please explain to me what it is in our lives that can possibly make someone cure the evil of discrimination with more discrimination? Because I certainly have no idea.

QQ exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority. What I want to know is how many people have had their lives ruined by QQ. Dozens, unquestionably. Hundreds, very possibly. Thousands is not out of the realm of possibility. Regardless of the exact number, I have reason to believe that QQ is about to manipulate the unseen mechanisms of society so as to worsen an already unstable situation. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that QQ maintains that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by QQ's cynical, slovenly scare tactics, but we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we indeed have to increase awareness and understanding of our similarities and differences. To conclude, QQ feels obligated to erect a screen of flatulent verbiage to hide the real world from his victims.

[Wing]

OMGGG.

[Trevor]

I suppose QQ just doesn't want to admit that everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of QQ". In it, I chronicle all of QQ's press releases from the wretched to the lousy and conclude that if QQ bites me I will bite back.