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Zid wrote on 2010-12-11 16:11
Quote from Carrie Goldman:
November 15-19 is Anti-Bullying Week at the schools. Like so many others, I have been reading with dismay about the recent victims of bullying, and I ache inside for the pain these young people have experienced.
I have often thought of bullying as a problem that faces children older than mine, but a recent conversation with my first grader has given me pause. Maybe it starts right here, right now with our little ones.
At summer's end, Katie and I went to Target to pick out her backpack, lunchbox and water bottle for the new school year. After great deliberation, she chose a Star Wars water bottle to match her Star Wars backpack.
Katie loves Star Wars, and she was very excited about her new items. For the first few months of school, she proudly filled her water bottle herself and helped me pack her lunch each morning.
But a week ago, as we were packing her lunch, Katie said, "My Star Wars water bottle is too small. It doesn't hold enough water. Can I take a different one?" She searched through the cupboard until she found a pink water bottle and said, "I'll bring this."
I was perplexed. "Katie, that water bottle is no bigger than your Star Wars one. I think it is actually smaller."
"It's fine, I'll just take it," she insisted.
I kept pushing the issue, because it didn't make sense to me. Suddenly, Katie burst into tears.
She wailed, "The first grade boys are teasing me at lunch because I have a Star Wars water bottle. They say it's only for boys. Every day they make fun of me for drinking out of it. I want them to stop, so I'll just bring a pink water bottle."
I hugged her hard and felt my heart sink. Such a tender young age, and already she is embarrassed about the water bottle that brought her so much excitement and joy a few months ago.
Is this how it starts? Do kids find someone who does something differently and start to beat it out of her, first with words and sneers? Must my daughter conform to be accepted?
The confusing part for me is that I know these first grade boys. I can't simply see them as random mean boys bullying my baby. They are good kids individually, and Katie often plays happily with them.
But when you put the boys together in a pack, maybe they start to feel vulnerable and insecure, which causes them to do unkind things, such as tease my daughter for carrying a Star Wars water bottle.
Maybe they do it to get laughs out of each other. Maybe they do it because if they are busy teasing Katie, nobody will tease one of them. Maybe they do it because they want her attention and have limited social skills at this age.
"Katie, it is okay to be different. Not all girls need to drink out of pink water bottles," I told her.
"I don't want to be too different," Katie lamented. "I'm already different. Nobody else in my class wears glasses or a patch, and nobody else was adopted. Now I'm even more different, because of my Star Wars water bottle."
Katie cannot control the fact that she is different due to adoption or poor eyesight. But she can control what accessories she carries to school, and she is trying to exercise that control. She has learned that there are degrees of being different, and she wants to minimize how different she is.
Being different is a complicated topic. We say that we celebrate diversity, and we preach tolerance. But at the same time, we as adults are often fearful of those who are different. I see people tease each other for being gay or poor or overweight. I see grown-ups bullying others for holding different religious and political beliefs.
I see people publicly lauding diversity and privately attacking those who are different.
It trickles down to kids teasing each other for the types of toys they prefer. So it starts now, with a couple first graders and a water bottle. Right here, right now, we as a community need to recognize the slippery slope of bullying those who are different. We need to show our support for each other's choices, as long as they do no harm.
I talked to Katie about all my musings. Talking about it is the best defense. I have urged her to bring the Star Wars water bottle if that is what she really wants to do, even if it makes her different. Today, she felt brave enough to bring it. I hope that she is able to eat her lunch without feeling nervous.
I would love to be able to show Katie that she is not alone, that other females appreciate Star Wars. If there are any female Star Wars fans reading this, please feel free to show your support for Katie. I will let her read your messages or comments, and I think she will be surprised by what I suspect is a vast number of female fans.
And if you have a little boy out there who wants to carry a pink water bottle, tell him about Katie and reassure him that if she can carry a "boy" water bottle, he can carry a "girl" water bottle. Let's help all our kids grow into confident adults who can appreciate being different.
Source:
http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/portrait_of_an_adoption/2010/11/anti-bullying-starts-in-first-grade.html
She's known as "Little Jedi" to some of the Star Wars fans.
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gentrone wrote on 2010-12-11 16:44
Life is tough. You'll find bullies not only in school but virtually anywhere. Even in college, I see bullies here and there, just taking advantage of the weak.
This is my personal point of view. Only people with a weak character will suffer from bullies and similar people. We need to acknowledge our rights as humans and not let others abuse us. That girl should learn to deal with it or tell those annoying kids to **** off.
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Osayidan wrote on 2010-12-11 17:20
Quote from gentrone;244198:
This is my personal point of view. Only people with a weak character will suffer from bullies and similar people. We need to acknowledge our rights as humans and not let others abuse us. That girl should learn to deal with it or tell those annoying kids to **** off.
Pretty much that. Bullies do what they do because they're weak. If people let it affect them they're weaker than the ones doing the bullying. That's not to say the bullies are better than them, as people the bullies are pieces of crap in comparison and should be shot in the face. It's just that people with strong self respect won't let bullying affect them.
It's like if someone tells me being knowledgeable of computers is bad/nerdy. I couldn't care less, and when my paycheck comes in it makes their burgerking paycheck cry.
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Roy Mustang wrote on 2010-12-11 17:32
When someone calls me geeky or nerdy...I look them straight in the eye and go...So?
I happen to like being geeky and Nerdy...Yes, fellow Geeks and Nerds let us stand proudly and announce to the world...
We are Nerds and we are Proud!
But that's just me....
On a more serious note...it's a shame little girls get bullied like this :/
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TinyMo wrote on 2010-12-11 18:49
Wow guys. Have a little compassion. This is a child. A very young one at that. Children need to be taught; not simply told to suck it up or fight back. We've all gotta live here guys. While it's true that the weak are the ones caught by bullies, we shouldn't just scoff and say well, you deserve it. You're weak. Kids need help to see that they don't need to worry about bullies. Most bullies are just as weak in character, I agree.
You guys must have been the ones in KOTOR 2 on Kreia's side, lol.
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Roy Mustang wrote on 2010-12-11 18:54
On a more serious note, I do feel bad for the girl. I was just trying to put a lighter note on the thread...that's all ^_^;
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Adelynn wrote on 2010-12-13 17:41
I'm glad she's trying to be herself now.
For those saying she's weak for getting picked on: Well, duh. It's a CHILD we're talking about. It's not people with "weak character" that get bullied, it's people that are different. People of weak character will probably have more of a tendency to conform to the standards. This girl is still going to try to be different because that's who she is. That's more than what some adults would do.
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Athde wrote on 2010-12-13 17:52
Here you go, just show them this picture and they should feel much better
[Image: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTszny13TLFl5_0XLhgpLugMkVmqrVzguQihVVE1mqZqsmVU2v-6KXgOXhalw]
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Mentosftw wrote on 2010-12-13 18:42
Hey Tera, you like pink, talk to this girl now.
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Yogurticecream wrote on 2010-12-14 05:40
I can relate to her. I was different from the majority of girls in my school. Going to school has been a culture shock for me, even in a place which is known to be multicultural. Mainly due to my upbringing.
Firstly, between ages 10-12, I liked manga/anime/games (all taboos according to parents, however it was somewhat easy for me to hide these), while the other girls in school in my class were more concerned about the latest fashions, nail polish, fast food, or having enough pocket money for these luxuries. We were middle working-class, while all these people were rich.
My parents were extremely overprotective back then and I had very little of these luxuries until I reached high school, although still restricted. Musical choices was a strong indicator of this. While I grew up listening to chinese oldies, traditional instrumental and classical music off the radio, with parents/grandparents against pop music, stating that it was a bad influence (they will always switch the radio channels when pop music is broadcasted). People in my school were obsessed with Westlife, Backstreet Boys etc. With my weird glasses to match, some people called me "cheena" (very derogatory term for anyone with a strong Chinese influence) or grandma. The problem lessened as I went to high school with a strong Chinese influence, but the permanent damage was that I was hardly able to fit in with peers at all, since we are so different in wavelength. Although I was a target of bullies, I hardly have major trouble with them since I tend to avoid them.
I learnt to deal with it, although it did disrupt my sense of self as viewed by others for many years until I decided that it didn't matter anymore. I didn't care about how I was for I value who I am. I had a strong sense of who I was since I was young, what other people did that did not help me was to label me as "low-self esteem" when they don't understand what the true problem really was. Often, these young people knew who they were but society is not as accepting as they will like it to be.
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BobYoMeowMeow wrote on 2010-12-14 05:52
Bullying can start at any age in school.
usually revolving around something silly
but it can get on the child's nerves if unattended.
and Star Wars is enjoyed by both genders
because lots of people enjoy going to the movies.