Treya OC WIP

• Taycat wrote on 2011-02-05 12:51
  [Image: http://th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2011/036/9/a/trey_oc_wip_by_1love1riku1-d38uafn.png]

  
  
  Lineart is done. Yes, I plan on it looking like the lines are bad in parts.
  
  Do I care? No, I don't care if they're bad. I like it when art isn't exactly perfect because it really isn't.
  
  I love big gaps in the lines too, so those shall stay as well.
  
  I did the basic lineart and will add in details later.~
  
  Good?
  
  I'll probably make it a waist up shot later anyway....
• Selithia wrote on 2011-02-05 17:44
  Hope you don't mind, but I wanted to take an in-depth look at this and then recreate it myself to see if I could articulate what I'm trying to say:
  
  

  [Image: http://cuchulainn.broken-worlds.net/art/mabination%20redline.jpg]

  
  
  1. In your original, the character is lacking shape, methinks. She's got a seemingly rectangular body structure which leaves her looking a bit 2D and unnatural.
  
  2. Her head size is a bit much, and while large heads and eyes are a staple of anime/cartoons (for expressive purposes), there's still a bit of limitation. I don't have a hardcoded example of this so...er...just take my word for it at the moment. It's an experimentation thing. As it is, your character's head is roughly the same size as her whole torso.
  
  3. A good thing: Your hands are friggin' spectacular compared to the stuff I regularly put out and I've been trying to do this for almost 6 years now!
  
  4. Now, on to my version of the skeletal frame. The human body is a thing of curves, even with men. Things should have a roundness to them, thus how for the most part skeletons will be built with circles and curved lines.
  
  5. Somewhat accentuated hips helps to determine female build from male build. Granted I may have gone a bit overboard but that's just an issue/feature I have. Feature. Totally a feature and not me loving the hourglass shape. Totally!
  
  6. Like I mentioned before, her head is still too big for real life, but in a cartoony/anime style you want it to be big, but within reason. This part just takes some experimentation really.
  
  7. With 3/4 faces like this angle here, you'll want to have a visible indentation on one side of where that particular eyesocket would be. Line the eyes up with that. Also, the nose should be a smooth continuation of the far brow/eye socket. I wouldn't make the connection visible, but it helps to be aware of it.
  
  8. Doing the basic shapes might feel cumbersome at first but quickly becomes second nature and allows more expressive poses to come alive more quickly. I've proportioned her fairly oddly, come to think of it, but the dynamics should hopefully override this. Also note that even when 'flat-chested,' women will still have some semblance of a curve to their upper torso, on account of having muscles and ribs and whatnot.
  
  9. Alright, back to the line art phase. From here just experiment with clothing folds and stuff. You'll definitely want to drape the clothes off of the base body, rather than trying to draw the body around the outfit.
  
  10. My lineart is sketchy as hell and needs cleanup. Conversely, yours is actually quite smooth and I'm kinda jealous at how swooshy you've gotten your lines. Maybe I'm just using the wrong pen or something. Oh, and my shaky hands. Not good really.
  
  Long story short, bring some curves to the game to create a more lively, depth-having image.
  
  Oh and don't skimp on anything EVER. Reading your comments for this is kinda disheartening because it sounds like you're giving up on certain bits of it. (ie: not perfect = style, chopping her off at the waist in the future) Keep plugging away at anything that feels imperfect as it's the only way to improve and produce more satisfying images.
  
  I tell ya what though, your original is a thousand times cleaner than any of my starting stuff.
  
  Apologies if this sounds like a total earful but it's rare that I can articulate critique properly and I'd love to see where you can take this over time.
  
  :thumb:
• Shirayuki wrote on 2011-02-05 17:53
  Her face looks a bit... awkward...
  
  /runs
• Taycat wrote on 2011-02-06 00:52
  She has secret curves which are hidden by her biggish clothes. I really like unproportioned things!
• Ravendor wrote on 2011-02-06 01:38
  I'm surprised she doesn't fall over by how tiny her feet and legs are. With her large head she looks like a lollipop.
• Skye wrote on 2011-02-06 02:01

  Quote from Ravendor;322241:

  I'm surprised she doesn't fall over by how tiny her feet and legs are. With her large head she looks like a lollipop.

  
  
  That's pretty much my reaction. She looks like she's about to tip.
• Adelynn wrote on 2011-02-06 02:18
  While it's nice to have a style, you can't use it to cover up certain mistakes. Broken lines do look nice, and I actually use them myself for certain things, but I don't think it's helping you very much with this piece.
  *Her head is too large. If you want large heads, you actually need to be more obviously stylized, otherwise it doesn't work. Anime characters with heads that big don't look very good.
  *Her ear looks like it's coming out of the back of her neck. It needs to be higher.
  *Her arms are two different widths and lengths that cannot be accounted for through perspective or position. Even them out. Somewhere between both sizes.
  *Her pelvis/hips are too narrow, causing the rest of this to be too narrow also.
  *The style of this feels off. While there CAN be characters with very large heads and very small feet, it has to look very intentional, and this doesn't give off that vibe.
  
  Good example of intentionally warped proportion
• Ithiliel wrote on 2011-02-06 04:26
  I really have to agree with Adelynn. I get the sense that you're just claiming a style to cover-up mistakes because you can't handle the feedback. Just know that no one is intentionally bashing you, it's just all constructive criticism.
  
  That being said, like it's been said before her head is too big. If it weren't for the fact you mentioned it was a girl, the lack of curves would have made me think it's a crossdressing boy. The legs are what throw me off the most though, they're too skinny and unproportionate. As of right now her legs make me think that she shouldn't be able to stand.
• Taycat wrote on 2011-02-06 07:50
  Yes I understand my heads can be really big.
  
  I'd rather not show my worst ones.
  
  lul