Some very funny MP3 files shown to me by a friend. Each song mocks a certain aspect of anime fandom. :D I posted this in 2005 on some forum, which I randomly found again.. figured some may not have heard these. They're awesome. XD
*Mr. Unwashed Convention Attendee
http://realotakuheroes.com/songs/roh_unwashed.mp3
*Mr. Pirated Anime Goods Seller
http://realotakuheroes.com/songs/roh_pirated.mp3
*Mr. Female Character Cosplayer
http://realotakuheroes.com/songs/roh_female.mp3
*Mr. Harem Anime Inventor
http://realotakuheroes.com/songs/roh_harem.mp3
*Mr. Self Insert Fanfiction Writer
http://realotakuheroes.com/songs/roh_selfinsert.mp3
*Mr. Shoujo Anime and Manga Fan
http://realotakuheroes.com/songs/roh_shoujofan.mp3
*Mr. Anime Fanservice Inventor
http://realotakuheroes.com/songs/roh_fanservice.mp3
*Mr. Pocky Snack Inventor
http://realotakuheroes.com/songs/roh_pockysnack.mp3
Lyrics (spoilerss omg, listen to them first!):
[SPOILER="Spoiler"]Mr. Unwashed Convention Attendee
Narrator: Pocari Sweat presents, Real Otaku Heroes.
Singer: Real Otaku Heroes!
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Unwashed Convention Attendee.
Singer: Mr. Unwashed Convention Attendee.
Narrator: You prove your dedication to anime by going from event to event, day after day, never once taking a bath.
Singer: You need a bath now!
Narrator: Throngs of people clear the way to avoid your aroma, hoping that they don't have to sit next to you during the masquerade.
Singer: I need to sit somewhere!
Narrator: Without you, everyone would have to settle with the sight of a three-hundred pound man wearing a sailor fuku designed for a 14 year old girl.
Chorus: That’s not Sailor Moon!
Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Pocari Sweat, sultan of smell. You get the best deals because nobody is crowding you at your favorite vendor.
Singer: Mr. Unwashed Convention Attendee.
Narrator: Pocari Sweat, Otsuka Pharmaceutical, Tokyo, Japan
Mr. Pirated Anime Goods Seller
Narrator: Pocari Sweat presents, Real Otaku Heroes.
Singer: Real Otaku Heroes!
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Pirated Anime Goods Seller.
Singer: Mr. Pirated Anime Goods Seller!
Narrator: You help anime fans everywhere prove their devotion to a series they love by only charging them half price for your copy of the real thing.
Singer: My wallet thanks you!
Narrator: 26 episodes of your favorite series on DVD for only fifty dollars? No problem.
Singer: Made in Taiwan!
Narrator: Your courage supports those privateers who blaze the way for lower
prices by competing with those companies that PAY for licenses.
Singer: Who needs a license?!
Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Pocari Sweat, purveyor of purloined plastics, for without you, anime fans would be forced to buy legitimate goods.
Singer: Mr. Pirated Anime Goods Seller.
Narrator: Pocari Sweat, Otsuka Pharmaceutical, Tokyo, Japan
Mr. Female Character Cosplayer
Narrator: Pocari Sweat presents, Real Otaku Heroes.
Singer: Real Otaku Heroes!
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Female Character Cosplayer.
Singer: Mr. Female Character Cosplayer!
Narrator: Con goers the world over look at you and say, "I don't think that's a woman!"
Singer: WOAHHH!!
Narrator: Scoffing at the laws of physics and decency, you don a short-skirt, jewelry, and underwear that was intended for pre-pubescent young girls.
Singer: That's cross dressing!
Narrator: They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and what better way to show your dedication to your favorite character than to dress up like her.
Chorus: I love you baby!
Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Pocari Sweat, Mr. Female Anime Cosplayer; and know that if you weren't wearing that dress, we'd ask you to take a bow.
Singer: I think I've gone blind now!
Narrator: Pocari Sweat, Otsuka Pharmaceutical, Tokyo, Japan
Mr. Harem Anime Inventor
Narrator: Pocari Sweat presents, Real Otaku Heroes.
Singer: Real Otaku Heroes!
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Harem Anime Inventor.
Singer: Mr. Harem Anime Inventor!
Narrator: In real life, common sense says it’s unlikely for a nerdy guy to be surrounded by good looking girls.
Singer: That’s reality!
Narrator: But you came along and said, “Let’s take born loser and have girls fall in love with him because he’s a nice guy.â€
Singer: He won’t finish last!
Narrator: Is it believable?
Singer: No!
Narrator: Who cares? If there’s a girl for every guy that’s watching, it’s all good.
Singer: She’s the one!
Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Pocari Sweat guru of girls. Because lots of girls means lots of fun.
Singer: Thank you Mr. Harem Anime Inventor!
Narrator: Pocari Sweat, Otsuka Pharmaceutical, Tokyo, Japan
Mr. Self-Insert Fanfiction Writer
Narrator: Pocari Sweat presents, Real Otaku Heroes.
Singer: Real Otaku Heroes!
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Self-Insert Fanfiction Writer.
Singer: Mr. Self-Insert Fanfiction Writer!
Narrator: Only a true artist can put himself in a popular anime and believe
that he really belongs in there when nobody else would.
Singer: You're a star!
Narrator: While defying established characters and storylines, you manage to solve everyone's problems with your god-like strength and intelligence.
Singer: They need you now!
Narrator: Beautiful women from any anime succumb to your charm and wit because _you_ are in control.
Singer: You are the man!
Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Pocari Sweat, Mr. Self-Insert Fanfiction
Writer. While others come up with original characters, you show fans everywhere that it's all right to "get into" your work.
Singer: Mr. Self-Insert Writer!
Narrator: Pocari Sweat, Otsuka Pharmaceutical, Tokyo, Japan
Mr. Shoujo Anime and Manga Fan
Narrator: Pocari Sweat presents, Real Otaku Heroes.
Singer: Real Otaku Heores!
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Shoujo Anime and Manga Fan.
Singer: Mr. Shoujo Anime and Manga Fan!
Narrator: Perhaps fandom's greatest mystery - what makes a seemingly normal man say, "I want to watch anime made for girls."
Singer: I don't know!
Narrator: Action? Drama? Comedy? Only if it's starring a young girl in a cute little outfit.
Singer: She looks so cute now!
Narrator: For some reason, a girl with magical powers, a pretty costume, and a cute mascot fighting the forces of evil is what _you_ consider entertainment.
Singer: It's good clean fun!
Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Pocari Sweat, Mr. Shoujo Anime and Manga Fan, because it takes a real man to watch a girls' show.
Singer: Mr. Shoujo Anime and Manga Fan!
Narrator: Pocari Sweat, Otsuka Pharmecutical, Tokyo, Japan
Mr. Anime Fan Service Inventor
Narrator: Pocari Sweat presents, Real Otaku Heroes.
Singer: Real Otaku Heores!
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Anime Fan Service Inventor
Singer: Mr. Anime Fan Service Inventor!
Narrator: You were the first to realize that bouncing breasts, a subtle panty shot, or a nude transformation sequence could add so much to a story.
Singer: Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!
Narrator: You knew that viewers would overlook shallow characters and a weak plot if there are scantily clad girls running around.
Singer: Less is more!
Narrator: And when things get boring, a trip to the beach or a hot springs adventure is guaranteed to spice things up.
Singer: It's party time!
Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Pocari Sweat, Mr. Anime Fan Service Inventor; because everybody knows an anime isn’t an anime without a shower scene.
Singer: I need to be alone now!
Narrator: Pocari Sweat, Otsuka Pharmecutical, Tokyo, Japan
Mr. Pocky Snack Inventor
Narrator: Pocari Sweat presents, Real Otaku Heroes.
Singer: Real Otaku Heores!
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Pocky Snack Inventor
Singer: Mr. Pocky Snack Inventor!
Narrator: No one could have imagined that a thin wheat stick cracker covered in an artificial flavor would become the king of snacks
Singer: Hail to the King!
Narrator: At a mere 14 centimeters long, for some, the pleasure it gives is too great to be measured.
Singer: It looks so big now!
Narrator: And with more flavors that you can "shake a stick" at, you can be sure that there's a taste for the most discriminating snackers.
Singer: Manly Men's Pocky!
Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Pocari Sweat, Mr. Pocky Snack Inventor; because you give the shaft to hungry otaku everywhere.
Singer: Thank you Mr. Pocky Snack Inventor!
Narrator: Pocari Sweat, Otsuka Pharmecutical, Tokyo, Japan[/SPOILER]