I was wondering if I could do something more about this...or if I should keep it as a hobby thing and leave everything chucked away in my secret corner.
I have music (piano) classes, but so far none of it has to do with composing. My sight-reading is still not that great so I have yet to pick up the courage to ask my music teacher anything to do with composing. Also, with previous experiences with music teachers, they tend to shun any of the composing elements in theory and tell me to pick another section, which leaves me really disappointed after that.
For years I have this habit of something recording random melodies off my head on my phone and sometimes converting them to midi files.
None of my family and (few if any of my) friends know about this. I always have this feeling that the songs are odd and I have this sense of embarassment about them...however I enjoy it enough to keep all the files that I've created since 6-7 years ago. I have some personal pride in them, yet I'm kind of sad as to how I can't find required guidance to improve and the right people, even if I have a lot of new ideas.
Why do I say the right people? Most people who I know are musicians but not composers. For all the other local composers works that I've heard, their style is really different. I can learn from them, but that's about it. It's difficult for me to share my ideas. I uploaded my files once to the internet for feedback...it received few replies, only remembered one saying that there are strong music ideas in it and nothing else much of help. Safe to say that all of them are gone by now because I cannot find the thread in the forum that I posted it to - maybe they did a forum wipe. The one other place that one of my old files was still at...had 400 views but no ratings and replies. Mostly the people who I show these lack interest in it. The sole exception was technically a stranger in Mabi (most of my songs can be converted to MML) who was amazed somehow..though he did say a lot of the songs seem incomplete.
I'm sleepy, so that's all for now.