throw a little critique my way?

• Zlatka wrote on 2011-05-27 19:43
  started to doodle whilst being afk on mabinogi lol, and i kinda liked the way my doodle was turning up. can anyone give me some tips/suggestions on what to fix and how?
  
  and how i should draw virginity's arms? (i'm looking for a reference of the male blunt ego too, but can't find it D: anyone happen to have it?)
  
  

  [Image: http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii233/xmeowbarkx/zlat-3.png]
• Bakuryu wrote on 2011-05-27 19:50
  It's a good doodle, shapes and proportions seem fine overall, but I feel like the pose is too boring and too stiff, arms should be flexed a bit more, I mean, it's not often that you see someone with their arms stretched like that, it's not very natural.
• Zlatka wrote on 2011-05-27 19:52

  Quote from Bakuryu;457277:

  It's a good doodle, shapes and proportions seem fine overall, but I feel like the pose is too boring and too stiff, arms should be flexed a bit more, I mean, it's not often that you see someone with their arms stretched like that, it's not very natural.

  
  
  ono;; flexed more? i'm probably having a brainfart, but how.
• Bakuryu wrote on 2011-05-27 20:00
  herp, flex is probably not the right word, sorry -w-;; /engrish
  I meant like bent, \_ \/ != --·--
  
  Usually the pose is what makes the drawing, making it more dynamic, pleasing, and fun to work with. Right now the pose looks like she's handing over the weapon to someone, while if the arm were bent a bit, it would look more like an action stance, or bent the wrist it's pointing the weapon, like when showing off or getting ready for something.
  The arms look "dead" in a way, position your arms in that way, and you'll feel it, it's just not normal to be like that.
  
  The little doodle on the right for example, looks like a more promising pose.
• Loret wrote on 2011-05-27 20:01

  Quote from Bakuryu;457277:

  It's a good doodle, shapes and proportions seem fine overall, but I feel like the pose is too boring and too stiff, arms should be flexed a bit more, I mean, it's not often that you see someone with their arms stretched like that, it's not very natural.

  
  Agreed.
  
  You can spice things up by shifting the her weight from one leg to the other, or tilting the shoulders/pelvis. Some more sexyback would be nice too 8D
• Zlatka wrote on 2011-05-27 20:09
  im having issues understanding what you're suggesting, i mean, i see what you're saying and the pose is too static when i look at it. would you two mean something like this?
  
  

  [Image: http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii233/xmeowbarkx/zlat-4.png]
• Bakuryu wrote on 2011-05-27 20:15
  Yeah, that's what I mean, what Loret said it's also good stuff, the pose overall lacks imagination. After bending the arms, it's like they don't fit the legs pose, same with the shoulders, like Loret said.
  It's usually a good idea drawing out little thumbnails to get ideas for a pose.
• Sleeperdial wrote on 2011-05-27 20:51
  Make it a bit more personalized, take a simple pose from real life and emulate it as best as you can, it will put a lot more life into your work. Also try to work a little harder on anatomy.
  Honestly though I'm nit-picking, it looks pretty good. :thumb:
• Zlatka wrote on 2011-05-27 20:58
  sdfjokldjf i just give up lol, it's frustrating me working with poses and they all are turning up crappy
• otto wrote on 2011-05-27 21:16
  Basically what everyone's been saying. Just remember, even when your limbs are straight, they're not "stick straight".
  It helps to pose yourself-- even if it makes you feel retarded lol. Hold out a broom the way she is. It looks alot more relaxed with her ams bent more, with the axe a little bit closer to her.
  
  For her legs, when you stand exactly like she is, it's a bit odd since the weight of your body is shifted to the opposite side of the axe. That leaves the arm holding the axe with less support. I can barely keep my hand still holding a broom like that, so i can only imagine how hard it'd be carrying something 10x heavier. The leg facing us should be straight, and the other leg should be bent.
  
  It's frustrating, but dont give up! The sketch is the basis for a great picture~ and there's barely anything that needs to be done to yours ;D
  -master of giving up on sketches-
  
  i could build a tomb for all the sketches ive scrapped because they werent looking right xD
• ＣＩＲＮＯ wrote on 2011-05-28 17:47
  Firstly, the pose is way too static for any interesting styles or whatsoever you intend to do with the art on a later stage.
  
  Secondly, as stated by the others, it would work better if her arms are bent a little. In comparison with her body, the current arms are too stubby and short.
  
  Thirdly, that is not a proper pose to hold a mace. Personally, it looks extraordinarly weird in a sense that it doesn't makes much sense.
  
  Fourthly, is she wearing a push-up bra? If not, then make the correct amendments.
  
  Last but not least, it's good that you're trying to focus on her hips and waist. However, don't you think that the curves are a little too much? Especially for the hips and the buttocks with the added mass at the front. You do not want to over "Sex-ify" your character too much.
  
  
  It's a nice try, however. Do keep up the good work.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  P.S. Extra credit and values if you realized her clothing folds are way too unrealistically placed and that her hair carries no mass in comparison with her skull structure.
  
  One common mistake for most artists is that the hair isn't part of the skull or the head. It is above and wrapped around the head itself. I do not see why there shouldn't be a space around it.
  
  In example:
  
  

  [Image: http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff309/Nyaruato/Alpha1-2.png]

  
  
  
  Notice how her hair wraps around her head instead of being stuck to her skull itself?
  
  Give the clothing some space too. Unless the sleeves are tightly wrapped or the material of the cloth is made from very soft and silky materials, I don't see how would the sleeves stick to her body like that.
  
  No matter how would a Becky Witch Dress would look like ingame, when you're drawing it anime style or realism, please do be sure to make sure that the clothing folds are there. For tight clothing, the clothing streches goes left and right, towards the breast portions, connect soem clothing folds around the larger diameter of the breasts to the ribs portion. This would give the sense of tightness, which makes sense if her breasts are being pushed up by the clothing. If she's wearing a brassiere (?) underneth, then you'll have to make tiny markings to show that too.
  
  Besides, I don't think any girls would wear a bra under tight clothing like that ;)
• Rebel wrote on 2011-05-28 20:20
  Is there a purpose for her to be holding the broad axe at such an angle?
  Maybe if you shifted the arm to look like you were throwing it or something, Idunno
  The drawing looks fine, but the pose has no purpose.
  
  Maybe if you switched positions of the weapons, and instead had the broad axe at rest, and the iron mace in the other hand.
• Zlatka wrote on 2011-05-30 15:21
  ~v~ thanks guys, i really don't know how to fix it now that everyones pointed out various flaws, i mean yeah i think i do but the pose is static and uncreative, so that alone is enough to make me be a baby about it and ragequit like i've done with every other picture i've done LOL but that's for the tips, i'll be able to look out for these in future drawings because i tend to do these same things a lot (small waist, huge chest, normally static standing up pose o3o) but i really do appreciate it all ^w^