The New York Times: October 27, 2013
Earlier this month, Nexon acquired the government of the United States of America. This is a surprise, as Nexon has never shown any interest in any fields outside digital media, having recently acquired Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony.
"There will be many changes made to America!" said the president of Nexon Corporation, who recently has his name changed to Ferghus, for unknown reasons. In response to the economic condition of the country, Ferghus said "We will be removing the United States Dollar from circulation. In it's place will be Nexon cash." When asked how the world will respond to the change, Ferghus said "Every United States Dollar will be able to be traded in for 1,000 Nexon Cash. Nexon Cash notes will be the same size as United States Dollars, but in place of the presidents, they will feature artwork of various monsters from Maplestory!" The 1,000 Nexon Cash note will feature a snail, the 5,000 Nexon Cash note will feature a mushroom, the 25,000 Nexon Cash note will feature Zakum.
Ferghus has declared that the country will be renamed Maple Island, and that a substantial sum of taxpayer Nexon Cash will be spent on using demolition technology to reshape the entire country into a gigantic maple leaf.
"We plan to remove the entire legal system. In it's place will be the Nexon terms of service. Anybody caught breaking the terms of service will placed in a drug-induced coma for 7 days, or in more severe crimes, cryogenically frozen for eternity."
As a gift to the former US president and former comedian, Daniel Lawrence Whitney ("Larry the Cable Guy"), Nexon gave twenty billion Nexon Cash. Larry the Cable Guy's response to the gift: "Is this a joke? This money isn't even worth the paper it's printed on! "
In response to Larry the Cable Guy's scathing insult, Ferghus said "On the contrary. Every 1,000 Nexon Cash will be worth five British pounds. That is the exchange rate that the bank of England will implement after I kidnap their queen."
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