[FONT=Verdana]A farmer named Van was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Limpopo when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer , 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?'
Van looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers; 'Sure, Why not?'
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within mere seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'
'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Van .
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Van says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'
! The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'
'You're a Member of Parliament for the ANC Party', says Van .
'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'
'No guessing required.', answered the farmer . 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. . . .Now give me back my dog.[/FONT]
Human Resources
[FONT=Verdana]Dear Hiring Manager,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department at this time. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite your companies' outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Interviewee
Why?
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Why .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]
Why .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Why ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Why ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Why . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why? Good question. Next.
And last I leave you with a picture of how a bachelors fridge looks before payday lol
[Image: http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/8744/menxi.jpg]
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