Statements about online love

• Skye wrote on 2012-01-25 07:13

  Quote from Rigel;747909:

  No, cheating is never justified. I don't care if you're being neglected, leave them if you have to, but don't cheat. I actually can't even imagine what "good reasons" you have in mind. cheating is a disgusting, unrespectable thing

  
  
  Yeah, while I'd like to agree with this, abusive relationships are different than others. I don't think you'd really understand though unless you or someone close to you has been through one.
• Juno wrote on 2012-01-25 07:15

  Quote from RebeccaBlack;747989:

  Let's theoretically assume that he locked her in a basement and there was physically no way for her to escape. Let's also assume she didn't have a cellphone or any contact with the outside world and/or was constantly being watched by him.
  
  There's a point to it that goes beyond Cynic's example.

  
  
  So...does she sneak men in through the basement window then?
  
  An abusive relationship is, by definition, not love. If there's no love, there's no cheating.
• Skye wrote on 2012-01-25 07:16

  Quote from Juno;748014:

  So...does she sneak men in through the basement window then?
  
  An abusive relationship is, by definition, not love. If there's no love, there's no cheating.

  
  
  The abused can still love the abuser though. That's one reason why some abused don't leave.
• RebeccaBlack wrote on 2012-01-25 07:19

  Quote from Juno;748014:

  So...does she sneak men in through the basement window then?
  
  An abusive relationship is, by definition, not love. If there's no love, there's no cheating.

  
  Love is kind of subjective in the first place. One person will say that such and such is needed or it isn't love, and another person will say the opposite. Basically, without arguing the technicalities or getting too into it, assume that somehow she was able to cheat but was unable to get out of the relationship in fear of being physically harmed.
• Cynic wrote on 2012-01-25 07:26

  Quote from Juno;748014:

  So...does she sneak men in through the basement window then?
  
  An abusive relationship is, by definition, not love. If there's no love, there's no cheating.

  
  
  In the beginning, naturally. But otherwise no. She was by most means forced to stay with him, though. And wasn't able to contact to police due to him being an ex-army man. They'd side with him, though more likely he'd have beaten her to death before she could manage to get in contact with them seeing as all the cops in that area were friends with his family.
  
  If that is the definition of cheating, though. Then perhaps. But to me, all that is required is being in a relationship in order for it to be labeled as cheating, since it implies breaking a commitment of some sort. (even if there is no love anymore)
• Sumpfkraut wrote on 2012-01-25 07:29

  Quote from Juno;747903:

  What exactly do you mean? Does exclusive love mean 'I can't fall in love with others' or 'I choose to show love only to you'?

  
  It can be either. While true love can be exclusive of course, I do not believe it must, and that is what matters here.
• Milk wrote on 2012-01-25 07:41
  I would love to believe in the first statement but my heart has been broken too many times while trying to maintain a long distance relationship.
  
  Statement 2 - 4 - Cheaters can still care for the person they are with. I say that if your willing to cheat then you arnt ready to have a serious relationship though. So yeah, cheaters and swimmers aren't always bad people they just arn't ready for the type of responsiblity and dedication that comes with being in relationship.
• Bride wrote on 2012-01-25 07:44

  Quote from Skye;748004:

  Yeah, while I'd like to agree with this, abusive relationships are different than others. I don't think you'd really understand though unless you or someone close to you has been through one.

  
  you have me there, I just don't see how people would risk their necks cheating if they're too scared to even report abuse, or leave
• Milk wrote on 2012-01-25 07:55

  Quote from Rigel;748086:

  you have me there, I just don't see how people would risk their necks cheating if they're too scared to even report abuse, or leave

  
  
  Some claim that religion keeps them in relationships (incases where the couple are already married)
  
  Others claim that the kids keep them from leaving. That they dont want their kids to be involved with there break up.
  
  I personaly think that love kinda mends all wounds. I think their already established love kinda allows them to surpressed <-- didnt spell it right or forgive their abuse. Its not because they are weak or scared.
• Bride wrote on 2012-01-25 07:58

  Quote from Milk;748102:

  Some claim that religion keeps them in relationships (incases where the couple are already married)
  
  Others claim that the kids keep them from leaving. That they dont want their kids to be involved with there break up.
  
  I personaly think that love kinda mends all wounds. I think their already established love kinda allows them to surpressed <-- didnt spell it right or forgive their abuse. Its not because they are weak or scared.

  
  I was talking about Cynic's mom, and in this case, she was too scared to seek help, yet decided to cheat, which if caught could've had fatal results
  
  as for
  

  Some claim that religion keeps them in relationships (incases where the couple are already married)

  
  so their religion keeps their marriage together.. but they're allowed to cheat? afaik when it comes to Christianity, cheating is grounds for divorce. Not sure what other religions you could be talking about
  
  I might be misunderstanding something and your post was a little difficult for me to read so correct me if I'm wrong on any points
• Sumpfkraut wrote on 2012-01-25 08:01

  Quote from Rigel;748110:

  so their religion keeps their marriage together.. but they're allowed to cheat? afaik when it comes to Christianity, cheating is grounds for divorce. Not sure what other religions you could be talking about

  
  As far as the religious dogmas go, it would be grounds for a stoning to death actually, unless I am confusing things.
• Milk wrote on 2012-01-25 08:04

  Quote from Rigel;748110:

  I was talking about Cynic's mom, and in this case, she was too scared to seek help, yet decided to cheat, which if caught could've had fatal results
  
  as for
  
  so their religion keeps their marriage together.. but they're allowed to cheat? afaik when it comes to Christianity, cheating is grounds for divorce. Not sure what other religions you could be talking about
  
  I might be misunderstanding something and your post was a little difficult for me to read so correct me if I'm wrong on any points

  
  
  Ah sorry my words got all jumbled up and I think I miss understood the topic. :T_T: Im sorry dealing with something that just happend. Please excuse me.
• Juno wrote on 2012-01-25 08:06

  Quote from Sumpfkraut;748057:

  It can be either. While true love can be exclusive of course, I do not believe it must, and that is what matters here.

  
  
  That's not what I'm asking.
  
  Say you love person A. I am not disputing that there might be a person B whom you also love. However, you enter into a relationship with person A and make a commitment not to pursue or otherwise make good on your connection with person B. In this case, love is not exclusive since you love them both, but the object of your love is exclusive.
  
  Are you saying that it's ok to exercise love with both person A and B? Or are you saying that it's possible to feel love for person A and B?
• Tiiria wrote on 2012-01-25 08:49
  Disagree with all statements. Won't bother explaining my reasoning unless someone SERIOUSLY wants to know and pms me about it. They're just too... specific really... for me to agree with every piece of any of them. Disagree with the entireity (sp?) of 3 & 4 though.
• Chiyuri wrote on 2012-01-25 08:56

  Quote from Cynic;747838:

  Being with only one person in a life-time? No.
  Being with only one person at a time? Yes.
  
  This practice is common because it's the most common situation amongst humans; therefore the average norm. Obviously you'll experiment a lot, meet all kinds of people, etc etc. But to say we're not all meant to stay committed? That's not true.

  
  
  You can choose commitment if you wish it to be so, it's just not a requirement or in people's nature. If "love" was something you can keep to only one person, there wouldn,t be such a thing as "cheating" happening left and right.. Love is something unstable and the factor that make a person love another may change quickly. Of course, if you only find one person that fit your requirement of love, it's the same as that person having the exclusivity of you, since you aren't interested in the other people around. But what if someone else appear that spark similar feeling, are you going to kill the feelings you have in your heart for the previous person, for the new person? That's almost as close as lying to yourself. Anyway, jsut saying that having the exclusivity of a person's love isn't a requirement for all love. It depend from one person to another. Most people try to forcefully fit into the "norm" which is Mono through, which is not good.
  People are sheeps who just love been sheeps like everyone else.