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Loopulse wrote on 2012-02-19 01:58
Okay, so they're 15, drink quite a bit, and are missing school. They don't even like the beer they have, and it's hurting their liver. I keep telling her that, but she's being stubborn. Should I keep trying to simply give up?
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Cynic wrote on 2012-02-19 02:04
I'm guessing she either has an addictive personality or is an alcoholic, which means she won't want to nor perhaps even be able to stop without a ton of problems until whatever is causing her to drink is solved.
Even with a strong will, you can only do so much. So find the root of her problems first and see if you or she can deal with those.
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EndlessDreams wrote on 2012-02-19 02:25
You can try to see if you can get counseling for her... but if she really doesn't want to help herself first, no help will be able to save her from alcohol. If a person drink (or just do enough drugs) enough at a young age, the addiction can become pretty uncontrollable.
How is she getting the alcohol anyways? If she is getting it from her home, is her parents aware of it?
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Juno wrote on 2012-02-19 02:34
Giving up isn't an option unless it involves getting someone else involved.
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Claire wrote on 2012-02-19 02:41
People who won't listen you don't deserve your attention :/
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Cynic wrote on 2012-02-19 02:46
Quote from Claire;778474:
People who won't listen you don't deserve your attention :/
That's pretty closed-minded to say. Addiction can do a lot to you, especially when you have a serious driving factor(s) behind your addiction.
Almost everyone deserves someone to help them through it.
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Claire wrote on 2012-02-19 03:02
Quote from Cynic;778476:
That's pretty closed-minded to say. Addiction can do a lot to you, especially when you have a serious driving factor(s) behind your addiction.
Almost everyone deserves someone to help them through it.
You right. But before be helped by people, they should try to help themself first, no?
If not, why to try and try again for someone who refuse to be helped o_o
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Chihaya wrote on 2012-02-19 03:02
Quote from Claire;778474:
People who won't listen you don't deserve your attention :/
What I wanted to say. QFT
Quote from Cynic;778476:
That's pretty closed-minded to say. Addiction can do a lot to you, especially when you have a serious driving factor(s) behind your addiction.
Almost everyone deserves someone to help them through it.
Are you sure? Even with the addiction, if you don't even listen to your friends, who ARE you going to listen to?
I was an addict before, and when friends tried to talk me out of it, I would at least try because I knew addiction of any kind was ultimately bad for you.
It's hard to actually cure addiction, but pretty easy to cooperate with someone who is trying to help.
If the friend can't understand that (not to mention it's also illegal, possibly), there's really no point in trying to help.
In your case, I would tell the parents ASAP, since if she's not going to listen to you, she's going to have to be reprimanded by people who have direct authority over her, which is her parents.
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Cynic wrote on 2012-02-19 03:08
Not everyone handles addiction the same way. Like I said-- addiction doesn't pop up on its own. You need something to trigger it. Therefore, unless whatever made her addiction bubble up to the surface is suddenly gone, she probably won't want to listen. (and quite understandably, too)
I know I'd much rather have stuck to my addictions in order to escape from everything rather than straighten up just because I was negatively affecting those I loved. Addiction can turn you into a selfish, greedy prat. And it isn't completely your fault.
That doesn't mean she's right for not listening, it just means it's stupid to say "well then abandon her" when she refuses. You've got to keep on trying and trying again until they will listen. And they will eventually, even if the road to it is hard and long.
Addiction isn't something to be undermined. While a person does need to want to combat it in order for it to happen, trying to face addiction alone is nearly impossible, even for the strongest of people.
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EndlessDreams wrote on 2012-02-19 03:26
Quote from Cynic;778485:
Addiction isn't something to be undermined. While a person does need to want to combat it in order for it to happen, trying to face addiction alone is nearly impossible, even for the strongest of people.
Not impossible. The strongest of people can face it alone, and get rid of such addictions. Not everyone with an addiction can do that though.
Alcohol and drug addictions can go beyond of what triggered it. If the person really wanted to fight the addiction, the first step must be done by the person, which often is wanting to fight the addiction.
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Nithiel wrote on 2012-02-19 03:28
I wouldn't know. Never really been addicted to anything, my will is too strong. Plus I tend to stay away from bad things anyway because my brain is too strong, so it's impossible to get addicted if I don't start.
I would abandon ship, she's a lost cause. She should have the willpower to help herself.
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Morrigan wrote on 2012-02-19 03:37
Quote from Nithiel;778494:
I wouldn't know. Never really been addicted to anything, my will is too strong. Plus I tend to stay away from bad things anyway because my brain is too strong, so it's impossible to get addicted if I don't start.
I would abandon ship, she's a lost cause. She should have the willpower to help herself.
No one is ever a lost cause.
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RebeccaBlack wrote on 2012-02-19 04:08
If you all have so much willpower to do everything yourselves, you should have the willpower to keep pushing to help her even when things seem impossible. Sometimes, professional help may be necessary, but nothing is impossible. If everyone gave up on her, she would give up on herself. And if she gives up on herself, she will gradually go into decline until she's either on the street, dead, or both. This is a physical illness and it can't be neglected.
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Rin wrote on 2012-02-19 05:08
Easier to stick to a plan when you know that failing that plan means failing the special person who's counting on you.
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Lan wrote on 2012-02-19 05:53
As people have said, can't help those who won't help themselves. The road to recovery begins when they admit they have a problem, if they cannot admit that then they cannot improve.