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Phunkie wrote on 2012-02-29 10:27
He called me delusional. Told me I lived in my own world and that life isn't as happy as I make it out to be. Never mind the rest. He called me delusional and that just gets to me.
I'm not delusional or immature.
I know what I want in my life and I know how to get it. I know how to go after it. And when I want something, I definitely go after it, no matter how inconvenient it is at first. I always believe in giving things that one shot.
But he called me delusional. And he called me "obsessed." I approached him as a friend, nothing less, nothing more, and he completely took that act of kindness for granted and told me that he "didn't give a shit about me."
So I feel delusional. I feel crazy! For going after someone like that, for perhaps even wasting my time with such a cold idiot. And the hardest part is that I didn't even see it coming. Not from him.
But I'm not.
I'm a strong believer in love, in things like chivalry and courting others, just like how some animals do it [S]on da Discovery Channel[/S] in the wild.
If I could have sex with you after 3 days of knowing you, I wouldn't want you. It'd just be too easy. Sex should be a challenge, it should be a goal, IMO. Because when you have sex with someone, you give yourself to them. All of yourself. And then after that, what??
:what:
People these days just take all that for granted.
Romance is when you go out of your way to do something you wouldn't normally do for someone, because you care. Things like getting someone a flower just because it's a Tuesday or bringing them a "FEEL BETTER!" card just because they've been sick with the flu for a few days; that's romance, in my honest opinion.
People these days just wanna fuck and have a good time, and only worry about what [SIZE="4"]they[/SIZE] can get out of a relationship, instead of what [SIZE="4"]we[/SIZE] can get out of it. We, as in together.
I don't normally describe myself as one, but I guess I'm a hopeless romantic.
I'm idealistic when it comes to the people I get involved with. I treat them with respect and I'm really honest and transparent with them. I'm patient. I'm pretty low-maintenance too. I don't care so much for gifts; instead, it's the little kind gestures that matter more to me. That and phone calls. haha
But I'm also realistic. I know relationships are all about compromise and that things aren't always picture-perfect; that even the kindest of guys can make the biggest mistakes. Trust me, I know... I've been there.
However, despite all the negatives, it doesn't slow down my idea of love and relationships. In fact, it motivates me even more.
And that's not delusional.
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Strawberry wrote on 2012-02-29 10:33
Sounds really tough. Nobody can tell you how you view things. You're like the towering beacon of happiness around here, and I think you should keep that trait, regardless of what others say about it. They can't tell you to view something else differently than how you want to view it.
Terrible that he called you obsessed by approaching him with good intentions to show that you cared. Why would anyone reject care from someone with good intentions? It's completely misunderstanding, I feel sorry for you that as shattering as that would happen to you. ;;
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Shizuo wrote on 2012-02-29 10:46
Quote from Strawberry;791263:
Sounds really tough. Nobody can tell you how you view things. You're like the towering beacon of happiness around here, and I think you should keep that trait, regardless of what others say about it. They can't tell you to view something else differently than how you want to view it.
Terrible that he called you obsessed by approaching him with good intentions to show that you cared. Why would anyone reject care from someone with good intentions? It's completely misunderstanding, I feel sorry for you that as shattering as that would happen to you. ;;
This. Don't change how you view life ;o; it's great. In fact, I agree with you on everything and found that I have almost the same train of thought most of the time xD I also don't understand how some people can be so cold. That's just how they are, I guess...and there's not much we can do about it.
And I very much agree with the romance thing too. I can't believe how easily people give themselves to others these days. And they're so surprised to hear someone say that they're a virgin. I just don't know orz;
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Jana wrote on 2012-02-29 10:49
I don't really understand... Did you get dumped and need a pick-me-up? I don't want to sound insensitive, especially because I'm an annoyingly positive person... But I can't comprehend so much deep thinking at once either.
I'm too simple. :c
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Phunkie wrote on 2012-02-29 10:50
Quote from Jana;791278:
I don't really understand... Did you get dumped and need a pick-me-up? I don't want to sound insensitive, especially because I'm an annoyingly positive person... But I can't comprehend so much deep thinking at once either.
I'm too simple. :c
I was just ranting about life and people. :XD:
I'm doing fantastic, however. I just motivate myself through these little rants.
I FEEL PUMPED.
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Kanam wrote on 2012-02-29 10:56
Like everyone said don't change. You're like one of the nicest person I've ever seen and I don't even know you that much (we chatted once I think). Also I agree 100% with your view and in no way does it mean you're delusional. It just mean you care about your relationship with the other person a lot.
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Sumpfkraut wrote on 2012-02-29 10:56
If you make life out to be happy, it is happy for you... and if it can be for you, it can be for anyone in at least the same situation as you.
He's a delusional pessimist. He could have used some of your positive energy, but I guess not every pot is aware of the lid that would fit it.
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Bride wrote on 2012-02-29 10:58
delusional my ass o_o
Because when you have sex with someone, you give yourself to them. All of yourself. And then after that, what??
yup, this is how I feel. and I like your optimism and the fact you appreciate romance. It is alive, just not too common nowadays it seems :(
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Jana wrote on 2012-02-29 11:10
Quote from Phunkie;791280:
I was just ranting about life and people. :XD:
I'm doing fantastic, however. I just motivate myself through these little rants.
I FEEL PUMPED.
Oh, then that is quite nice~ I don't usually need to motivate myself; I kind of have a one-track mind, so when something bad happens, I just move on to the next thing that needs doing.
Being able to charge in headfirst without any hesitation is a good feeling, isn't it~?
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Kaeporo wrote on 2012-02-29 11:15
I wish more people understood the concept of chivalry.
This obviously bothers you a great deal, which tells me that you care. It might also reveal a bitter truth that you might not want to face. Your idealogy isn't a bad thing but you should consider his words.
A friend of mine happens to be a hopeless romantic. He spends all of his time and money with his lastest obsession. He's going nowhere in life professionally. He doesn't have the resources to support any mistakes he makes.
Emotions are great but keep them under control. Think everything through. Talk to your friends about your situation. More importantly, talk to your enemies. They'll help you put things into perspective. You don't have to agree with them but they'll often identify your blind spots.
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Jana wrote on 2012-02-29 11:29
Quote from Kaeporo;791313:
More importantly, talk to your enemies. They'll help you put things into perspective. You don't have to agree with them but they'll often identify your blind spots.
Ooh, ohh! This is a good point! I think that part of the reason I can continue being so simply positive is because I don't leave any loose ends. The few enemies I've made, I tend quickly learn from and then get rid of in some shape or form.
Though I dunno if the kind of person you meant in the first post is really an enemy or not... :c
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Phunkie wrote on 2012-02-29 11:42
Quote from Kaeporo;791313:
I wish more people understood the concept of chivalry.
This obviously bothers you a great deal, which tells me that you care. It might also reveal a bitter truth that you might not want to face. Your idealogy isn't a bad thing but you should consider his words.
A friend of mine happens to be a hopeless romantic. He spends all of his time and money with his lastest obsession. He's going nowhere in life professionally. He doesn't have the resources to support any mistakes he makes.
Emotions are great but keep them under control. Think everything through. Talk to your friends about your situation. More importantly, talk to your enemies. They'll help you put things into perspective. You don't have to agree with them but they'll often identify your blind spots.
He may not be the best example to use when thinking about that one "bitter truth" that I'm scared of, since he came from a pretty rocky background himself. He was pretty jaded, so that explains a few things.
I try to empathize with everybody I meet, as we never know everybody's story or where they've come from. However, no crazy background justifies how he disrespected me. But I'm not horribly bitter about it. I'm just disappointed.
I'm full of flaws though. This has opened my eyes to it.
I'm not the type of person who will throw dollars and gifts at someone I like. Haha, that's silly. I'm in my last year at school (undergrad) and I do have a plan for my future in regards to what I wanna do (astronomy). I'm not reckless.
I just think I deserve better, honestly. And when someone doesn't meet my expectations, I grow frustrated. My expectations aren't even that high to begin with. Just show some effort. I'm really not that hard to please.
Lack of effort just puts me against a wall, with friends or anyone. I don't think it's too much to ask for.
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Hiccup wrote on 2012-02-29 12:41
Oh.... I see why I got that text.
Big city, busy life, people ultimately always care for themselves. Your just having terrible luck with guys recently. But all of this is just a test to find that one perfect guy. Just try and learn something, anything, about every relationship or fling or interest and after a while you can start to see patterns of who you attract(what type of guys), and what you can possibly do to better the situations. If he's just going to be immature about it, don't put any more effort into it. You can only pursue so much, until it gets tiring. If he really, and I mean seriously wanted something with you he would've pursued, or shown some effort.
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Akemii wrote on 2012-02-29 12:44
You'll be fine Joel. :)
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Cynic wrote on 2012-02-29 16:38
I'm similar you you in a few ways, but also the complete opposite. When I care for someone, they have my undivided love and attention. I'll happily go out of my way to make them happy; spoil them with gifts, take them on random dates, etc etc. But I also see no issue with random hook-ups (as long as you're careful and use proper protection) and understand that not everyone thinks like me. Commitment (and the want/need for it) doesn't come natural for some people, even if they haven't necessarily had a history of bad break-ups/partners or even trust issues. Some people are fine with hooking up and casual things. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with them or really, that they're any different from us.
He was out of line for calling you delusional. Yes, you're very optimistic, but as long as you're level-headed with it I can't see the problem.