But we have a completely new staff to take care of the site. I'm sure that they will be able to take care of this site and bring it back to where it was a few years ago when we first started the site after moving from MabiGuru. However, there is one thing that Chise didn't tell everyone. And that is that I'm stepping down as admin. For those of you who don't know about how I became an admin, I'll give you the story.
Basically, when we moved from MabiGuru, because the owner of the site was basically using us to make a shitload of money, and in the process neglected the site when we needed things changed that only someone with his powers can do. So that's when Chise and Falsetto decided to leave Guru and make a new site for the community, where the owner won't take advantage of its users. Of course, when we moved, we decided that we wouldn't have just one administrator, but would have two, just in case one of them wasn't available in case something needed to be done. When they were deciding who to choose, before they came up with a definitive candidate, I nominated Zephyri, stating that I had no interest in becoming an admin. And so, Zeph was chosen to be the second admin.
A few months after that, Zeph stopped being active and just disappeared without a word, so the site needed a second admin. At the time, I was the senior moderator, so everyone nominated me to become the admin, even when I already voiced that I had absolutely no interest in such a position. But, with me being a person that can't say no, especially to the woman that I am in love with (won't deny it, even though I tend to say negative things about Fal, I'm still madly in love with her). And so, I got stuck with a title I wanted absolutely nothing to do with.
So a few months down the road, I'm getting tired of being an admin, but I didn't have the balls to just quit and go back to being a mod, so I stuck around. At this time, I also noticed that a member made a troll account by the name of Bambee/Bambii (or whatever) and took this opportunity to give myself a get out of jail free card. So I took a person that had a known association with Jordy, and purposely blamed her for making the troll account. Tatsu, I'm sorry that I used you like that, it isn't right, but I just wanted out, which is why I was so reluctant to ban you when you even bluntly said "if you really think I did it, go ahead and ban me". Then I used the fact that I blindly accused you to say that I wasn't cut out to be an admin and tried to quit. But nope, had people pull me back in. And so, I was stuck in what I didn't want for another few months. Didn't help that Fal dumped me a month later.
Then in March, Fal practically just stopped coming to the site, maybe logging on at most once a week. At this point, I felt like I was just being used, and by the end of May, I had enough of that feeling, and resigned yet again, because officially, I didn't like to be used like that, but personally, it's a great excuse to get out of the job. So I go a month without being an admin. Felt no stress, relaxed, and enjoyed every minute of it. Then I bump into Fal in Vindictus. After a fight, in anger, I told Chise that I wanted to become an admin again, the only time I've been a member of this community (Guru included) that I actually wanted to be an admin.
The next day, however, I talked to her best friend in real life to follow up and see if there was something going on with Fal in her real life. After him telling me that she gave up on her friends and this site was because she was under a lot of stress of building herself subconsciously to being this perfect being that is worshipped, and she just wanted to get away from it. Upset at both how Fal ignored that I was trying to get to know the real her, as well as with myself that I most likely hurt any chances I had with getting back with her the day before, I promised him that I wouldn't try to talk to her (a decision I now regret, since now whenever I see her character's name show up in a party ad, or I see "Fal" or her real name, I get depressed because of my morals, I won't actually talk to her and try to apologize for the fight we had). So basically, the feeling of wanting to be an admin only lasted a day in the 4 years I've been a member of this community.
And so, here we are now. The community has gone to hell. My staff had become either incredibly inactive or too worried that they'll hurt one of their friend's feelings if they do something against them. And it's practically my fault, since I let it slip this way. My not giving a damn since I no longer have a chance at winning Fal's heart, and the depression that followed hurt this site. I really wanted to quit, but my pride kept me from just packing up and leaving, even though I already had the okay from Chise to do so anytime I wanted to. But with Baku stepping down because he didn't want to deal with the community anymore, and TA resigning for the same reason, that left me as practically the only serious staff member on the site. At that point, I just said "fuck it!" I would have talked to Chise about getting new staff members, and after a month, pick one of them to be my replacement, and train them on what to do for another month before I fully retired, but that plan backfired when TA sent me and Chise her views on the staff.
Chise confessed to her that he was going to promote her to an admin sometime near the end of spring, and then she decided to come back and reform the staff, something I had no say in, despite being the de facto manager for the staff. So I said fine, maybe this won't be too bad. But then I saw TA's policies and her punishment, I really didn't agree with it, and wanted nothing to do with it, so I told Chise that I was done as soon as the new moderators were in. So here I am now, making this thread since the new staff is in place.
I really want to thank everyone that gave me your support. While most days it felt like I was ignored, both by my orders to stop fighting, as well as what I just had to say in general, some of the replies and thank you's I've received really brightened my day when I read them, because I knew that my job wasn't a thankless job. Only mostly thankless.
I'll probably stick around the site for a little bit, but since I've just been becoming less and less active as time goes on, I probably might just disappear for good, so if you want to add me to Skype or MSN, don't be afraid to.
So again, thank you everybody, and please try to behave for the new staff. I would say that I had fun, but that would be lying, and lying is bad, especially when you're trying to be sincere.