Any serious writers want to give me tips/examples?

• Kueh wrote on 2012-03-26 20:28
  I'm devoting myself to what I'm considering my first serious piece, but I don't know if I can pull off action-y or exciting scenes.
  
  My style of writing tends to be very short and linear, so I'm also having trouble with pacing events. Some things, I feel, happen too early, and other things I want to happen already but have no way of introducing them.
  
  I could show you some my own examples, but none of them that are appropriate for nation are very recent. (Yes, it is what you think it is.)
  
  Anyway, what I really want is just to see some examples of fast-paced text. I want to know how other people make it feel natural.
• Sleeperdial wrote on 2012-03-26 20:43
  If you really want it reviewed, PM an example to me, I can't guarantee I'll be timely about reading it but I'll get around to it.
  As for fast scenes, novels are at a disadvantage compared to other mediums, books can't convey as much information in a small amount of time.
  Fast paced scenes stick with just the important details, cut out as much as you can, but give the reader an idea of whats going on, they'll fill in the rest. I don't have a whole lot of experience writing fast paced scenes, but some things that I would try are using exhilarating words, such as brutal, extreme, incredible, and other words that have serious emotion tied to them. Also try to build suspense, make the scene right beforehand go tantalizingly slow for a little bit, then send them over the veritable edge of the waterfall. Hope that helps. If you have any specific problems (and you must be specific for me to be able to help) say so in the thread so other people might be able to help you also.
• Kueh wrote on 2012-03-26 20:46
  Well, I don't have much at the moment, so there isn't much to review.
  
  I just know that I want to have certain portions, and I'm doing research so that what I have when I'm done will be something I'm proud to show off.
  
  Do you have any favorite scenes, either by you or by others?
• elumini wrote on 2012-03-28 12:15
  I can only critique what I see as well.
  
  As for your pieces being short and linear, it all depends on how you're writing these. For me, the best end is when there's no more to write regarding a specific event without adding too much. I'll link to one of my own examples.
  
  http://forums.minegarde.com/topic/5257-the-old-kingdom/
  
  In terms of brutal or fast paced, here's an old one I had (this version is no longer supported as I have a newer revision of it):
  
  [spoiler]“We, the World Order Army, have agreed to the duel. Our best fighter, Julius Belleiot, will be dueling Engrid Lebolas of the Marvento Kingdom!”
  
  Many men roared and shouted upon hearing their hero’s name. Each wanting to win so badly, tasting the victory of battle based on just the duel.
  
  A single soldier approached the center from the defending forces and removed his cloak. He had a claymore that was slightly larger than his self, but he was able to wield it fairly with both hands on the hilt. The two duelists were of similar stature and Dylan couldn’t help but think that all duelists were large men that only seemed to intimidate rather than being good fighters until he saw the enemy make the first move.
  
  The messenger had already fled from the center to leave the duelists by themselves. Everyone stood by in silence as they watched the death match. Engrid was running headfirst towards Julius, swinging his claymore from the side, knocking away Julius’ shield arm, an opening for another blow, and then a smash from above after the first swing. Julius rolled to the side from the swing and regained his posture and ran his shield into his foe to knock him off guard. His mace seemed to carry a large force as he swung it from the side and impacted Engrid’s plate mail and Dylan could see the enemy’s armor shatter from beneath the raw power. Engrid tripped Julius as he fell with a swiping kick and got his target to flinch before he swung the claymore from that bad position and struck Julius on the side of his knee.
  
  Julius lowered his guard as Engrid regained his posture and pushed him back to deal another heavy blow. Julius charged into his foe, a pretty unethical move, and knocked them both into the floor. This time however, Julius regained his footing first and smashed the mace into Engrid’s chest once more, his foe coughing blood from the impact.
  
  Soldiers from the Order erupted into cheers while insulting Engrid’s failure in front of the Marvento forces. Engrid could no longer move after that second blow and could only stare at Julius’ silhouette as he landed another blow into the face, disfiguring it, spewing blood across the white-layered ground. Dylan stared in disgust as Julius landed the final blow, shattering the enemy hero’s skull. [/spoiler]
• Juno wrote on 2012-03-28 12:52
  Outlines are very key for this. You need to know exactly what needs to be communicated so that you don't miss anything and end up confusing people. Other than that, try to go sparse on the details for the section that's fast-paced; don't feel pressured to finish every sentence either. Short, poignant verse will always produce greater tension.
• Rin wrote on 2012-03-28 13:59
  Think about how action works: it needs to be quick, it has to be focused on important details (for example, you don't need to describe what gun it is as long as you let the readers know it's a gun) so readers don't get bogged down by heavy thinking, and it has to have impact (AKA your emotionally charged words).
  
  Watch an action scene in a movie, then try to remember what went through your head as you watched it.
• TA wrote on 2012-03-28 14:19
  The way I tend to write is right after I get a massive amount of inspiration and my head is full of ideas. This usually happens right when I wake up (coming from dreams), or while laying in bed (get out of bed and write), or after watching movies or similar.
  
  I also write down ideas and dialog that I randomly come up with in the inner dialog of talking to myself throughout the day.
  
  Oh and I'd avoid outlines for creative stories. Just roll with it and live through the characters as you go along. You'll be just as excited as your readers, wanting to find out what happens next.
• elumini wrote on 2012-03-31 04:54
  For action scenes, its much easier to act out a scene yourself and write it. Or if you have good imagination, just imagine yourself being in the character's shoes and play out the scene. Describe the motions that are the main focus and you should do well.