Ok, now be honest again...

• puppypaint wrote on 2010-07-12 21:13
  On topic:
  Your writing is okay, though through the bajillions of asterisks I noticed that you have punctuation errors.
  Probably more than what I saw, because it was hard to read.
• RicochetOrange wrote on 2010-07-12 21:29

  Quote from puppypaint;90987:

  On topic:
  Your writing is okay, though through the bajillions of asterisks I noticed that you have punctuation errors.
  Probably more than what I saw, because it was hard to read.

  
  
  It was a technical error. I'll fix it when I get on my laptop.
  
  Also, on the writing quality part, should I have added more detail? I kinda kept it to a minimum as not to bore people with every little detail.
  
  
  
  Also about the offtopic iPhone thing, I bought it used without phone service in near brand new condition for $200. It's 16 gigs so it was a bargin in comparison to a iPod touch.
• Lan wrote on 2010-07-12 21:48
  Where's the bleach? I must cleanse my eyes T_T
• puppypaint wrote on 2010-07-12 22:10

  Quote from RicochetOrange;91001:

  Also, on the writing quality part, should I have added more detail? I kinda kept it to a minimum as not to bore people with every little detail.

  
  
  I think the word choice was a problem, not a lack of description. Like where you said "the small bald man stood up" when you had just used the exact phrase "small bald man" a couple sentences before when you introduced him.
• Phunkie wrote on 2010-07-13 08:39
  I AM LOLING
  
  Remove those asterisks. They make me wanna take a break after reading every word.
• Kueh wrote on 2010-07-13 16:49
  I have just had my 32nd wish fulfilled.
  
  I wished for an asterisk orgy.
  
  Now there are only 74 more to go