Except I'm very protective of my best friend, so while I'm buying him a girlfriend all prospects must now endure a ten hour [S]interrogation[/S] interview given by myself.
This is to ensure that when Kaon gets married I won't beat his bride down with a golf club and throw her out a window. /eyesparkle
If you pass the interview stage I will buy you for 20,000 of my shiniest nonexistent nation gold and a slice of bread. :D
Please note I'm not responsible for the bread growing a horrible infectious fatal if eaten mold on itself in the mail before you receive it.
Also, I'm offering unlimited food porn to whoever ends up as his lovely bride to be.
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p.s. his favorite race is saltine cracker, so those of you who fall under that category you should offer yourself up knowing you have a better chance of being bought.