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♪ wrote on 2012-05-16 00:42
Original thread:
http://www.tdnforums.com/index.php?/topic/30456-parenting/page__pid__595475__st__20#entry595475
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
Pretty straight forward. Do you feel parents should be looking into their online activity and such?
Should teens have limited online time and access?
This is also debated. That teenagers are spending too much time online. Also include thoughts on video games/tv ect .
How involved should parents be?
Should they get involved with school events? Check up on their kids homework?
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
When I was a kid, I never had either. My parents watched TV all night, all week. I made my own breakfast, lunch and dinners since I was 7. When I was 6 it normally meant having toast for dinner.
Should parents force their children to be active?
Put them in sports? Watch what they eat? A lot of children are over weight. Should their parents be doing more?
Spanking- Okay or not?
A huge controversial topic.
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
A reasonable amount, but I believe that parents should always be allowed to go through belongings that they bought.
Even though I'm being a bit hypocritical here, I know if my parents were to do such a thing, they'd only be doing it for my safety and well being.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
Yes. I'm one of those teenagers who allowed the internet to grab hold of my life, and I don't think kids should live like this.
How involved should parents be?
Tons. I've always been jealous of the kids who always had their parents being a part of whatever they're doing.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
Spend breakfast together
spend lunch together if they're not at school
sit at the table and eat with their parents
movie nights
family game nights
and maybe just night to sit around and talk to their kids
Should parents force their children to be active?
YES. Kids are too fat now, why? Because their parents let them eat junk food and sit around the house all day.
Spanking- Okay or not?
No. I was spanked as a kid, it only taught me to be afraid of my parents, not respect them.
If they only way you can get through to your kids is through pain, you're doing something wrong.
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Cynic wrote on 2012-05-16 00:52
Fun fun.
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
I won't invade their privacy unless they give me a just cause to. I'll give them a very long "leash"; they can choose to either run around or enjoy it.. or hang themselves with it. All I ask is that my kids trust me and act like decent people, and I will happily return the favor.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
It depends. If I see that they are spending too much time online-- to the point where it interferes with everyday life-- then yes. But otherwise I trust them to keep their other responsibilities in mind and figure out how to balance things out.
How involved should parents be?
As involved as they need to be; always pay attention to your kids, in both a parental way and also in a friend way. But if they show you that they need their space, give it to them. Everyone needs some time alone every now and again.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
In whatever way they're most comfortable with. Sharing meals is something you should really do either way, I don't consider it "family time" since family time implies it's something you go out of your way to do. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to eat with your kids. Otherwise, just talking, laughing and sharing is a great way to be with your kid. If they like to go out with them, do so. Play games, visit new places, spend time with the family pet(s). Whatever makes your family happy.
Should parents force their children to be active?
To an extent. If the kid is healthy and does not want to play sports, then don't force them to. As long as they get a healthy amount of exercise in some way (be it alone or via group sports), then you have nothing to complain about.
Spanking- Okay or not?
If you raise your kid properly, you'll have no reason to spank them in the first place.
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Science wrote on 2012-05-16 01:00
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
I think before high school teens shouldn't have a lot of privacy. After entering high school(mostly around sophomore/junior years and later), teens should have parents knocking on their door before coming in, not having to specify exactly what they're going out for, later curfews, etc.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
Yes. People are too dependent on computers and they aren't very good for health after long periods of use.
How involved should parents be?
Like with privacy, I think parents don't have to be very involved after a certain point in the kids life. They should still be involved by checking up on grades and going to conferences and meetings and stuff, but not as much as they were in the child's younger years when the parent would go with the child to events in school, check their homework everyday, sit down and go over schoolwork with them, etc.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
As much as is possible, imo. Kids and parents drifting apart after a while is inevitable, but when you can spend time together, you should. Meals together, family nights, family conversations, stuff like that.
Should parents force their children to be active?
Not force, but strongly encourage? Dunno, I feel like sports and stuff shouldn't be forced upon the kid since it takes away the fun of the sport/activity. Playing soccer with your kids in your backyard and going for family walks and stuff is good though, since exercise as a family effort is what seems best to me.
Spanking- Okay or not?
Nope. I'm against inflicting pain on your children.
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Sekwaf wrote on 2012-05-16 03:00
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
A good deal, as long as they give me no reason to investigate.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
No, as long as it's not interfering with their lives. I myself love to peruse the internet and am an avid gamer. This doesn't prevent me from being an A student, and a major participant in my schools theater. So, as long as they're not some no-life basement dweller, it's fine.
How involved should parents be?
They should be as involved as their kid feels comfortable with. It could embarrass the child if they're a bit too active, but don't neglect everything either.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
Eating at least one meal together is definitely good, preferably dinner, since everyone can discuss their day. Also, a game night or perhaps just watching a television show that everyone enjoys can be great.
Should parents force their children to be active?
Absolutely not. Some people are not athletic...get it? Making sure they have a healthy diet is completely fine, but forcing somebody to be on say...a baseball team that they hate? Also, I've seen way to many parents put their kids into WAY too many activities. They'll put them in soccer, gymnastics, tennis, basketball, volleyball and take up 5 hours of their day with these things, and then wonder why they're tired and aren't wonderful at all of them.
Spanking- Okay or not?
No, there are so many better ways to teach a lesson, besides, most civil people wouldn't even hit their dog for something bad, why should they think it's okay to hit their child?
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Xxazurekitex wrote on 2012-05-16 05:59
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
After the age of 15 parents shouldn't be looking through their things. Part of growing up is learning to be responsible for yourself.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
Probably. I don't know. They want to be online fine be online. Wanna do video games? Do Video games. Just dont let it interfere with your life...or consume you.
How involved should parents be?
In the sense of wanting to hang out and do things. Games, movies, going out to eat.
But not in the sense where you're suffocated by spending every waking moment with them.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
If you want to eat breakfast alone eat alone.
If you want to eat lunch alone eat it alone.
Dinner has always been a time for family to eat together.
If they want to hang out with you it's probably best to do so.
But probably much again, in the normal sense.
Not the suffocating sense.
Should parents force their children to be active?
They shouldn't force kids into sports they hate.
Some kids aren't athletic and probably never will be.
But they should exercise regularly.
Not force, encourage.
Spanking- Okay or not?
Oh hell no. Isn't this starting to be considered abuse? Getting spanked made me fear my parents when they raised their hands.
In all if I was a parent I'd be the Cool parent :l
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Shizuo wrote on 2012-05-16 06:12
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
I'd have to go with Sekwaf on this one. I'd give my teens a good amount of privacy, but if they're doing things that they shouldn't, I'd have to be more strict about it. I think 16 would be a good age for them to have more.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
If they're using it too much, then yes. I'd like for my kids to be able to get out and do things in real life, but if they're online for a little bit, I wouldn't mind. But if they're always on the computer, I'd have to make rules for when they can get on.
How involved should parents be?
I'd like to be involved enough to know the kinds of things that they like or enough so that my kids would feel comfortable talking to me if they needed to be. But I wouldn't be too involved with their life. I'd like for them to be able to experience things for themselves as well and to have their own lives. But when I was growing up, my parents didn't really get involved with me. They didn't really listen when I talked about something I was interested in, so I sometimes wondered if they really cared. I don't want my kids to feel like that.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
I would probably schedule days for us to go out and do something fun together. Going to parks, movies, or having game nights would be nice. But if my kid already has something scheduled with their friends, I'd let them do that. Of course, as mentioned, we'd always have dinner together.
Should parents force their children to be active?
I don't think I'd force them to, but it would definitely be encouraged. Sports aren't for everyone, and if my kid would rather do something else (like read books or play music), I wouldn't force sports on them. But I would encourage them to be active and get some exercise.
Spanking- Okay or not?
I believe there are better ways to discipline your kids. My parents spanked me when I was little, and I turned out fine, but I don't think I'd do it to my own kids. I think a time out or taking something away would be fine as long as they know why it's happening. I'd probably just put them in time out for a couple of minutes and tell them why they're in time out. Of course, I'm no expert and I'm not a parent yet, but I think that would be a good way to let your kids know what is okay and what's not.
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Rin wrote on 2012-05-16 15:21
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
If I deem that their privacy aren't just ways for them to get into trouble or be bad people, then I'll let them have it. Regardless of age.
They should learn that privacy does not mean being an outlaw.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
I have a different view on this. As long as the teen is maintaining the house alongside with me, doing his or her end of the work, and doesn't jeopardize a good future they want, it's fine with me with however long they spend on the internet.
Some people aren't just social people in real life, but are different on the internet. I have to respect that.
How involved should parents be?
Like Cynic, just enough to show that you care and are more than just a parent. You're a close friend, a teacher, a mentor, a confidant. But learn to respect your kids and their decisions when it's appropriate.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
We should look forward to eating with each other, no matter what, when, or where it is. We should have good reasons why we want to be with each other, not some arbitrary tradition that must be followed.
This goes for all things, like playing games together (Mario Kart?!), traveling together, meeting new people, being there for special events, and just being there because it makes them feel happy to see you.
That hug you get when your child decides to be independent and live by his or herself, that "Thank you for everything" line uttered from them...
There should be love, alongside respect.
Should parents force their children to be active?
Encouraging, instead of forcing. As long as the child learns and practices healthy habits, it's fine with me if they don't want to be athletic.
Spanking- Okay or not?
It shouldn't have to come to that.
But a child shouldn't take advantage of their parents either. That's the most deciding factor for me.
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Rin wrote on 2012-05-16 15:22
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
If I deem that their privacy aren't just ways for them to get into trouble or be bad people, then I'll let them have it. Regardless of age.
They should learn that privacy does not mean being an outlaw.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
I have a different view on this. As long as the teen is maintaining the house alongside with me, doing his or her end of the work, and doesn't jeopardize a good future they want, it's fine with me with however long they spend on the internet.
Some people aren't just social people in real life, but are different on the internet. I have to respect that.
How involved should parents be?
Like Cynic, just enough to show that you care and are more than just a parent. You're a close friend, a teacher, a mentor, a confidant. But learn to respect your kids and their decisions when it's appropriate.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
We should look forward to eating with each other, no matter what, when, or where it is. We should have good reasons why we want to be with each other, not some arbitrary tradition that must be followed.
This goes for all things, like playing games together (Mario Kart?!), traveling together, meeting new people, being there for special events, and just being there because it makes them feel happy to see you.
That hug you get when your child decides to be independent and live by his or herself, that "Thank you for everything" line uttered from them...
There should be love, alongside respect.
Should parents force their children to be active?
Encouraging, instead of forcing. As long as the child learns and practices healthy habits, it's fine with me if they don't want to be athletic.
Spanking- Okay or not?
It shouldn't have to come to that.
But a child shouldn't take advantage of their parents either. That's the most deciding factor for me.
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Sumpfkraut wrote on 2012-05-16 21:12
How much privacy should a teen be allowed to have? Which age should they get more?
As much as anyone else. Privacy is not the holy grail of human dignity, but the respect I grant to adults in this regards should be applied to non-adults as well. It is a basic human right, not an adult right, and fascism towards children is still fascism. No going through personal files, no rushing into the room, forcing them to keep the door open, interrogating them about everything etc.
Straightforward stuff that should be considered necessary signs of respect even when interacting with young people. As such it is logical that it wouldn't increase, because the same basic level of respect should always be kept up, and more isn't generally necessary - that would be a matter of individual negotiation.
Should teens have limited online time and access?
Not necessarily. Undoubtedly some people might get into it too much, but if you make sure they gain a healthy interest in other things too it shouldn't be that drastic, and also people change. You will not remain glued to your PC forever. Instead of restricting PC access, encouraging other kinds of activities before PCs even get feasibly controllable by them seems to me to have equal chances of success at combating the symptoms, but might actually combat the cause just as well, and it is a much more respectful practise. In extreme cases it might be necessary to restrict access, but significant success is probably only likely if it's done lightly -so as to not cause a defensive and thus uncooperative stance that is ultimately harmful to the goal and the well-being of all parties involved- and with encouragement to try out other things, even if you have to provide initial extrinsic incentive. I don't understand the special status of online time as opposed to other time used with the PC though.
How involved should parents be?
As it comes naturally. Eat together if you can, chat a bit, and play as the situation develops. Children don't need someone to lead them through life, they need someone to offer help with life. Also, the world consists of more than parents. There are neighbours, extended families etc., and they can be a good orientation for children as well. We are one of the most social species on earth, there is no reason we should resort to social organisation models smaller than a lion pack, and I can only imagine it might cause harm to the ability to competently and respectfully interact socially with the diverse people that society is comprised of. Two parents are only two people more than those people locked up in isolation chambers have.
How much quality time should parents try and spend with their children?
See above.
Should parents force their children to be active?
No, they should give incentive. Force is always disrespectful, and disrespect can not be the normal modus operandi when interacting with people who do no harm but unto themselves.
Spanking- Okay or not?
It is a form of disrespect, and as such the same formal restrictions apply. If the child is massively going over the line -and I'm talking about a level that borders on penal relevance with adults-, a single, sharp hit might be in order depending on if the person is receptive to these methods, just as with adults, other than that it must be discouraged severely.