It's a new world out there for everybody. In America, and really throughout the world young people have fewer opportunities for employment, to demonstrate their abilities, and professional attributes. The diminished opportunities are a problem for men and women, but young women under 30 are surpassing their male counterparts academically and financially for the first time. Women are becoming more desirable to hire than guys. Relating it to gender role expectations, since women are able to take care of themselves financially, it creates new challenges for men. If you're a guy, and you're not the breadwinner, what are you? What new role should men be developing? All the new roles threaten the traditional concept of masculinity. This makes it more difficult for guys and girls to relate to each other as equals.
Broadening out the answer...
Because of the new difficulties facing guys in this changing, uncertain world, many are choosing to isolate themselves in a safer place, a place where they have control over outcomes, where there is no fear of rejection, and they are praised for their abilities. Video games are this safer place for many of these guys. They become increasingly adept and skilled at gaming, refining their skills, and they can achieve high status and respect within the game. This is not something you see women doing, they don't need to get respect that way. We (my co-author Nikita Duncan and I) have nothing against playing video games, they have many good features and benefits, it is the big HOWEVER, that when played to excess they can hinder a guys ability and interest in developing his face-to-face social skills (games are designed to get everyone to play to excess, we call this the enchantment factor). In addition, the variety and intensity of video game action makes other parts of life, like school, comparatively boring, and that creates a problem with academic performance which in turn requires medication to deal with ADHD, which then leads to other problems down the road.
Porn adds to the confusion. Especially for young guys, who grow up watching hard-core porn online. They are developing their sense of sexuality around porn, and it doesn't include real people. So when they encounter a real live woman down the road, it will be a very foreign and anxiety provoking experience. Instead of just watching a screen, now their communication skills and whole body has to be engaged, and there is another person there with their own sexual needs. There's a great website out there, Fight the New Drug (www.fightthenewdrug.org), that illustrates what happens when you use porn to excess. If a guy watches porn frequently, most likely he will be less attracted to and have less desire for women in real life.
Again, we're not saying women don't play video games and watch porn, they do. But they don't do it as much as guys. And the concept of watching porn is definitely a guy thing. It's the combination of EXCESSIVE video game playing and porn use that creates a deadly duo, leading to ever more social isolation, social alienation, and inability to relate to anybody, especially girls and women. Porn and video games have addictive qualities, but it's not the same as other addictions. With alcohol, drugs, or gambling you want more of the same, but with porn and video games you want different - you need novelty in order to achieve the same high. We call this arousal addiction. In order to get the same amount of stimulation, you'll need new material, seeing the same images over and over again will become boring. Both of these industries are poised to give you that endless variety, so it's up to each individual what the best balance is for engaging in these digital outlets and other activities in their lives.
Our TED book, Demise of Guys, is really a polemic meant to stimulate controversy and argumentation around these topics and encourage others to do research on the different dimensions of these challenges, and for society to come up with solutions. Excessive gaming and porn use are really symptoms as well as causes of a broader problem that includes the high percentage of guys who are growing up with fathers playing an active role in their lives by setting boundaries, and teaching them the value of delayed gratification.
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/untpp/i_am_a_published_psychologist_author_of_the/c4xjaub
the guy's pretty well known among psychologists