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Ark wrote on 2012-11-25 19:58
I have this problem and its really starting to annoy me. Every weekend i get a call from my my family asking if they come over. Sometimes i say yes sometimes i say no. The days i say yes, im basically entertaining 3 little kids.
It exhausts me quite quick and its a strain, plus they never want to go home at a decent time. So lately ive been avoiding them to not deal with it or making up excuses. Today is almost bit me in the butt, because they came over unannounced. And ya know what i did? I didnt answer the door. I felt really bad about it, but i just did not feel like doing it.
I know i should just be honest and say no, but it just feels so hard to say sometimes. Have any of you guys had any similar experiences.
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Kisuku wrote on 2012-11-25 20:18
I just had a family reunion the last two days of my break and one of my friends wants to come over all of sudden before moving out.
[SIZE="1"]They came in while I was sleeping...[/SIZE]
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Lewd wrote on 2012-11-25 20:26
Keep your house filthy, and don't let the kids have any fun. Then they wont want to go over.
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Sumpfkraut wrote on 2012-11-25 20:29
Maybe you should tell them at a good moment that you just find it taxing to be around 3 kids whoever they are at once, repeatedly, and would just like to tone it down a bit. That's what I'd do.
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Reptile wrote on 2012-11-25 20:42
Quote from teneshi;986813:
Keep your house filthy, and don't let the kids have any fun. Then they wont want to go over.
this
"omg this place is a dump, let's go home and not come back"
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dragy148816 wrote on 2012-11-25 21:29
Quote from Ark;986803:
I have this problem and its really starting to annoy me. Every weekend i get a call from my my family asking if they come over. Sometimes i say yes sometimes i say no. The days i say yes, im basically entertaining 3 little kids.
It exhausts me quite quick and its a strain, plus they never want to go home at a decent time. So lately ive been avoiding them to not deal with it or making up excuses. Today is almost bit me in the butt, because they came over unannounced. And ya know what i did? I didnt answer the door. I felt really bad about it, but i just did not feel like doing it.
I know i should just be honest and say no, but it just feels so hard to say sometimes. Have any of you guys had any similar experiences.
Be honest to them, because they are family. Honesty is the best way; look at it from this standpoint. Imagine that enjoy coming over, but they feel they are pestering you. However, they don't want to stop, because they might feel to distant or they think you might take things the wrong way if they stopped coming over. There's an unknown tension there, because both sides are not being completely honest.
Just be honest, they should not take it to harshly if they are truly family. I always give my parents the cold shoulder, and they know they pester me, but they've accepted that.
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Claudia wrote on 2012-11-25 21:39
Yes, be honest AND make it so the kids get bored when they want to come over.
My brother's friend and his little brother would come over a lot, and it was horrible. Their mom was a single mom working multiple jobs, so I felt bad about saying no but she left me with kids that had severe behavioral issues (and left me their medicine; my dad told me this was illegal for her to do) that hated each other. I took the kids to the swimming pool and had to buy them ice cream to get them to behave, and the younger kid dropped his in the sand and I had no money to buy him another one (but I told him I wouldn't because he was careless; this day was not one of my finer moments).
Kid never wanted to come over again (and my parents managed to talk to the mom before I got a chance).
You gotta be honest with your family, man.
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Sekwaf wrote on 2012-11-25 21:41
Yeah, they're your family so go ahead and just be honest with them. Just say you need some time to relax and they'll understand.
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EndlessDreams wrote on 2012-11-26 00:38
Don't entertain the kids. Make the kids really bored to the point that the kids don't want to come.
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TLCBonaparte wrote on 2012-11-27 16:24
Am I the only one who think being responsible and take care of the kids when they come over is an option?
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Cynic wrote on 2012-11-27 17:39
I've been in the same situation more times than I can count. The fact that I'm an introvert only made it all the more unbearable.
Just be honest with them; tell them you're not a doormat and they can't just dump their kids on you whenever you feel like it. You have a life and you have the right to privacy and alone time.
Family visits are a part of life when you're involved with your family, but not when it's a constant burden.
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Claudia wrote on 2012-11-28 00:43
Quote from TLCBonaparte;987668:
Am I the only one who think being responsible and take care of the kids when they come over is an option?
Try having children dumped on you spontaneously.
Yeah, it's a pain in the fucking ass.
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Ark wrote on 2012-11-28 01:52
Thanks guys your replies were very helpful and your right i should be more honest. Im just the type who enjoys solitude, i want to be close to them and let them know that they can ask for my help. But then it turns into can i come over every weekend its just blegh. Ill just have to have a good talk with my dad then.