Coping

• Iljimae wrote on 2013-02-08 03:31
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• Kenny? wrote on 2013-02-08 04:04
  To be straightforward, I don't really know what to say to you.
  I would normally give a cliche response, and move on, but I know that you don't want to hear that, and I don't want you to have to hear one either. I'll just say that no matter what, I hope you can make it through this, and that no matter how lonely you may feel, or how alienated, you're never alone in anything that you feel. There will always be someone who can encourage you or relate to you, so don't feel that way.
  
  Best of luck to you
• Marimaster wrote on 2013-02-08 04:16
  You ain't gonna die <_<. If I knew you irl and you told me this I would keep it in my head and never forget it but I will talk to you like I did before you even told me. I care and don't care at the same time. I ain't gonna comfort you unless you want it. That is how I see it. But listen you won't die you too stronk! =D
• BlackCat9 wrote on 2013-02-08 04:16
  As with Kenny.. not much can be said.
  
  My best wishes are with you, I know you have the strength to tackle these hard times head on.
  
  EDIT: SCREW IT I NEED TO SAY MORE
  
  I.. really don't know what to say. What can anyone say for the situation you're in. I won't tell you everything will be full of rainbows and its obvious you're brave enough to just face that fact. I'm sure your best friends can do a good job of supporting you.. gah I don't even know what I'm saying.
  
  I'll say this though, pretty recently in guild chat someone asked who everyone respected the most/kindest soul from the community. There was not a second of hesitation as I typed your name, as did others.. some I'm not sure you even know xD
  
  That being said I'm trying to dig something up I had from a while ago, which I was making for you before things changed. I'm hellbent on finding it and ill take a picture when I do. I'm sure it'll put a smile on your face.
  
  Not sure what these words will even accomplish.. probably nothing as they are just words from someone on the other side of the world. Plus, I'm not as good with words as you are.
  
  But still, I'm happy to be your friend.
• Milk wrote on 2013-02-08 04:41
  Kenny said it all. I find it hard to accept that words can only say so much.
  Mew, I think that I can speak for everyone who has gotten the chance to speak to you when I say that you're words have been very inspirational to all of us.
  I wish that I could pour myself heart out and express my emotions like you always do so perfectly but I fear that my capability to do that is at times very limited.
  
  All my hope goes out to you Mew, I hope to see you next month. I hope that you will still be with us 6 months from now. I hope that you beat this and continue to live life for even as much as a couple of more years. Why is that we as human beings do not fear death until it is looming inches away from us.
  
  

  [Image: http://i43.tinypic.com/o5x3d0.jpg]

  
  
  Your only 19 years old, our birthday is almost here. I want to celebrate it together once again.
  
  Im sorry D: I ment to post words to cheer you up but I ended up bringing myself to tears just now. I'll start drawing something right away. Can you tell us when the operation is going to take place?
  
  You have to want to survive. My dad beat cancer 4 years ago. I know you are strong enough to beat this as well.
• Yanm wrote on 2013-02-08 04:57
  The fact that this is happening to you of all people only makes this much harder to swallow. I've always admired how proficient you are with words, putting your heart and soul into whatever you type, and almost everytime I read something you wrote, it makes me look at things from a different perspective, which to be honest is not easy to make me do considering how many things I consider. Reading your posts has and will always be an enjoyable experience to me, and I sincerely look forward to reading more of your posts. Wait, what was that? Look forward to? Yes, you heard me right.
  
  Though you stated earlier that some friends have done the same, I've made a bit of peace with the fact that you might not be with us in the future. Regardless of that fact, I feel that if you end up letting depression take you over, you won't survive. Don't give up hope, continue being strong and you can overcome this. [S]Besides, I have this Luxury Ball all ready for you :<[/S]. When life hits you hard like this, the only thing you can do is stand back up and hit it back even harder. Don't give up Mew. Oh, and just to help you feel better, I thought you'd like this:
  [video=youtube;Z6sfIBoPL_Y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6sfIBoPL_Y[/video]
• Kueh wrote on 2013-02-08 05:02
  The future is so uncertain. So much can change. You might discover one day that you've had a cancerous tumor, you might get a surgery and have it completely removed and live the rest of your life like nothing happened.
  
  Don't think about "What are my chances". That's meaningless. The only meaningful moment is the one you're living in.
  
  "Do what you're gonna do, and don't regret it."
  That's a phrase that I've come to live by. Maybe something bad will happen, maybe something good will. Maybe you're making a mistake, maybe you're not. None of those are good reasons for any sort of motivation, and since you'll only get answers for them in hind sight, no one can criticize any action you want to take, not even you, so don't think about it. Just do it.
  
  Last year, a doctor told me that she had seen cases matching what my brother had only 4 times in her 50 year career, and each one of them was in better shape than he, and each one of them died. I cried so hard, because she was basically telling me that he wasn't going to survive the night.
  
  Today, he's the only one of my brothers with any passion for a trade, and he's setting up connections to prepare him for a career in culinary arts.
  
  Maybe you have a year, maybe you have five years. Even if you didn't have cancer, those would be equally valid statements. Maybe you have 20 years. You're probably not living to 200 either way, so live for today.
  
  

  Quote from Iljimae;1028372:

  I am unable to confront my own friends denial.

  
  
  Making mistakes doesn't matter. If your friends are people who can't cope with you confronting them over an issue that's important to you, they aren't worthwhile friends, in any condition.
  
  Confront them, tell them how you feel. Tell them how much they mean to you, and if you're going to mourn, mourn together and mourn passionately, so that when you're done, you can live each second for itself, without that lingering friction weighing down on your mind.
• Cho wrote on 2013-02-08 05:35
  Don't mind if it's just generic texts, I hope it means something at the very least.
  
  Even though some people like your friends can't say anything about a situation like that, they have the ears to listen.
  
  I'm sure your friends would be there for you to listen. It's so much more of a relief to talk about it than to carry it heavily. Your friends would be more hurt if you suddenly left without a notice of where you're going, because they want to be there for you as much as you want to be there for them. Missing them and wanting to grow up together while experiencing the things they do is a good proof of that.
  
  My mom has had stomach cancer in the first stages before, but went through surgery without telling me. I was a bit young when it happened, but after I came to understand what cancer was and what it did, I really wished I was there for her when she suffered so much. Even if she didn't tell me not to worry me or if I wouldn't have understood at that age anyways, I feel like I wasn't there for her because I never understood what was happening to her. I remember that she kept telling me they were stomach-aches. Being as little as I was, I believed so easily...
  I really regret that I wasn't there for her to wish her good luck and give plentiful amounts of hope from the bottom of my heart, and i'm glad she's still here.
  
  When you don't tell people and one day you do after going through all of it, they would definitely wish they were there for you when rough times dragged you along. Don't make them regret not having been there. x(
  
  The feeling digs in more if you stare at percentages and keep thinking about them. As long as there is a chance of survival beyond the percentage, it can still happen. Anything's still possible. You don't have to wonder if you have a chance, you do. The rest of that percentage of survival is your chance. You do have one. It's not like there isn't a chance.
  
  Even though it's hard, don't say it like you'll definitely die....Even if it feels like it. It's not the end after those years.
  
  I wish you the best of regards and the best of luck. A lot of people have hope for you, so don't despair.
• Grumpycat wrote on 2013-02-08 11:38
  Well, I'm sorry I can't say much but... Try to enjoy life as much as you can and be open about your feelings to those that are close to you.
  
  Life is precious, try to live it out as much as you can, instead of letting this weigh you down.
  
  
  I don't really know you much, but I can tell your friends really do care for you and you should always have a smile on when your with them.
  Best of luck!
• Claudia wrote on 2013-02-08 13:50
  Sheesh, girl. Like everyone else, i'm speechless.
  
  The only thing I regret is not getting to know you better. I wished that I had taken the initiative and bugged you a lot in-game and we could've done fun things and I don't know... \:D/
  
  I don't really know what I can say that hasn't already been said. All I can say is that I believe in you.
• Enoshima Smoothie wrote on 2013-02-08 14:28
  I've never really had a chance to talk with you, but to think of that as a lost opportunity implies the worst.
  
  Death is just a shadow that follows us and we become oblivious to it until a light makes it visible once more. It's terrifying to see it loom over yourself and for others to see it as well. Your friends' comforting words are for you as well as themselves. They want you to know how much they love you and they're scared of losing you. It's human nature for us to cover our eyes in the presence of death and yes it might seem selfish for them to think about themselves when you're the one suffering, but that's how people cope. Some push away the person they fear they might lose because they can't handle it, others embrace it, others cover their eyes and pretend they can't see that shadow and try to just continue on normally, and others just have no way to express their fear for you and themselves.
  
  They care. People are just stupid selfish beings without even meaning to be.
  
  But...Right now to look back at the misfortunes of the past and to look towards the uncertain future will only cause you more pain.
  
  
  I know my words probably mean nothing as we're not acquainted, but I wish you the best and I hope that everything turns out fine.
• BobYoMeowMeow wrote on 2013-02-08 14:57
  This is unfortunate. The cat wished that the cat got to know you better.
  Don't be too hard on your friends. Nobody knows how to react to a friend who's close to death. Their denial is natural but they can still learn.
  In your case, please understand your struggling is never all for naught. Death is definite and yet, at the same time, is something our senses can never grasp. The end of life doesn't mean much when the living towards that end is much more valuable. Your experiences aren't happy all the time but you can still embrace their impact on how they made you a better person. The uncertainty of life is much more comfortable with guidance, whether it's from us or the friends who helped you along the way. The fact that you made a passionate post about your situations to strangers reveals that you still have that silent voice inside. That silent voice's whispers has also guided you with the wisdom, courage, and stern will to face your own doubts and your friend's doubts.
  
  You were able to understand what makes you happy, yes? That is a blessing many people don't have. Your honesty towards yourself is what makes you a stronger person. It is a strength that is necessary for you to be a wonderful person.
  
  Cancer is terrible, yes, but it's nothing worth to throw yourself under the bus for. Medicine has gone a long way to make it possible for you to live longer. If you want to cry, do so. It'll let you know you're still alive. There's no greater sensation than being able to feel the deepest emotions a person can feel.
• Perfectio wrote on 2013-02-08 16:01
  I don't know you very much at all, and reading this, like many others, makes me regret that fact.
  
  And I'm not sure how exactly to respond, or to express the feelings your post makes me feel - yes, every day could be our - all of our - last. But at the same time, it just feels unjust. Why should a young person like you have a coin flip's chance of dying in the next 5 years? I know it's not true but the idea that "young people don't get seriously ill like this" seems ingrained in me, despite it obviously being false. Either way, it just feels even more tragic.
  
  And most of all, this really reminds everyone that behind the game avatars and the forum personalities, there are real people with real problems, and while we come here and play for fun and leisure, sometimes this fact is lost. It makes me think - who else is posting here or playing Mabi/other games as an escape? As a way of coping? Who else presents a happy, smiling face to the world, but deals with their own severe personal problems, or health crises?
  
  Anyway, I really hope that things work out. I know it's terrible losing the things you care about to illness, but you seem like a strong and resilient person, and you have a lot of people that care about you. Those are some of the most important things you can have when dealing with something like this.
• Murasaki wrote on 2013-02-08 20:21
  I wish I had known about your condition sooner. Maybe we could have talked about it a bit more before the surgery, and maybe I could have helped you feel a bit more happy.
  
  I won't deny that wanting to see you happy is partially a selfish thing, and I will never be afraid to admit that to anyone. I'm a very selfish person with the people I care about. They're my friends, and I want to cherish and love them and see them happy. Seeing you in pain really hurts, and I wish I could make you smile all the time, but life is hard and I know that I can't just talk all of your problems into leaving you alone. Still, I don't think of my selfishness as an inherently bad thing, and I don't feel accused of anything in any sort of way. I just want you to know that no matter how shitty things get, no matter how painful, I would rather sit there and cry for you than distance myself. You're a dear friend and I love you. If I ever did something to hurt you, know that I'm truly sorry. I never want to make you feel alone. If I ever do, come talk to me, so I can set things right.
• Kingofrunes wrote on 2013-02-08 20:38
  I don't really know you that well, but you seem to be an earnest, good, and hard working person. I can't really relate as I've never been in your situation and I'm not the most empathetic person.
  
  All I can say, is that you need to have the will to live. Think positively and pray that you make it through this ordeal. I don't think there's much that we can do except to pray for you, give you words of encouragement, and just keep our fingers crossed. The rest is up to your body, and mind.
  
  Keep your head up, stay strong, and keep moving forward.