Ark wrote on 2013-03-24 23:40
Hey guys, i decided to turn to you because your the guys i frequent most often. Basically, my gf of 2 and a half years loves me alot and is literally attached to me. This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that sometimes i get little to no breathing room. So while shes all happy and cuddly with me, I'm trying my best to keep her like that but in the same time my annoyance builds up. I'm not a super lovey person all the time but i still try my best for her. One night she was really in the mode for loving and i was feeling burned out. I tried to please her, i failed and gave up. She cried over it till i finally had to put even more effort in and please her (this was a very exhausting night for me). Personally i feel like im being relied on too much for her happiness and its killing me. What should i do?
If you need any other details just ask away.
Cynic wrote on 2013-03-25 00:11
There's nothing wrong with being loving, but if it's to the point where she never leaves you alone and gets majorly depressed when you don't give her lovings at every single moment of every single day, then you've got a serious problem. I attract clingy people like flies, so while I do have plenty of advice to give, it might not be what you want to hear.
My first thought would be: dump her and run for the hills! People like her only change when they figure out the root of their problem. Which, 99.99% of the time, is insecurity. Hence why they cling to their lover as if their life depends on it. They also tend to need constant reassurance, i.e. "no, no, you're pretty", "yes, you're smart", "no, you're the only one for me", and so on. But, if you feel the need to be her knight in shining armor, then you need to get her to work on her real problems. Figure out exactly why she's so clingy: is it her physical appearance? Her weight? Bad experiences with past boyfriends and/or girlfriends? Daddy left one day and never came back? Then, try and get her to work on the problem. Therapy works wonders.. assuming you can get her to go.
All in all, the problem will never go away unless her insecurity goes away. Unless she's just cray cray, in which case.. yeah, it definitely ain't going away. Ever.
It sounds harsh, but believe me, I've had my fair share of experiences with all flavors of clingy, plus psychology is one of my favorite subjects, so I have the practical knowledge to back it up. Either way, you're stuck choosing between two rough roads. It's up to you to decide which you think is worth it and which isn't.
SlurpTASTY wrote on 2013-03-25 02:42
Quote from Cynic;1055260:
All in all, the problem will never go away unless her insecurity goes away. Unless she's just cray cray, in which case.. yeah, it definitely ain't going away. Ever.
:evil:
SUNFLARE wrote on 2013-03-25 03:10
Did you ever tell her how you feeled ?
Space Pirate Nithiel wrote on 2013-03-25 04:16
Quote from Cynic;1055260:
is it her physical appearance? Her weight? Bad experiences with past boyfriends and/or girlfriends? Daddy left one day and never came back?
But I have all of those problems and I'm not clingy, I hate people. D:
Ark wrote on 2013-03-25 20:13
Quote from Cynic;1055260:
There's nothing wrong with being loving, but if it's to the point where she never leaves you alone and gets majorly depressed when you don't give her lovings at every single moment of every single day, then you've got a serious problem. I attract clingy people like flies, so while I do have plenty of advice to give, it might not be what you want to hear.
My first thought would be: dump her and run for the hills! People like her only change when they figure out the root of their problem. Which, 99.99% of the time, is insecurity. Hence why they cling to their lover as if their life depends on it. They also tend to need constant reassurance, i.e. "no, no, you're pretty", "yes, you're smart", "no, you're the only one for me", and so on. But, if you feel the need to be her knight in shining armor, then you need to get her to work on her real problems. Figure out exactly why she's so clingy: is it her physical appearance? Her weight? Bad experiences with past boyfriends and/or girlfriends? Daddy left one day and never came back? Then, try and get her to work on the problem. Therapy works wonders.. assuming you can get her to go.
All in all, the problem will never go away unless her insecurity goes away. Unless she's just cray cray, in which case.. yeah, it definitely ain't going away. Ever.
It sounds harsh, but believe me, I've had my fair share of experiences with all flavors of clingy, plus psychology is one of my favorite subjects, so I have the practical knowledge to back it up. Either way, you're stuck choosing between two rough roads. It's up to you to decide which you think is worth it and which isn't.
She is like alot of the things you've said. But Im not going to leave her for multiple reasons. Even if shes a little crazy, she has some sense and therefore i want her to grow up and be able to handle this world. Shes way too selfish for her own good right now.
Quote from SUNFLARE;1055353:
Did you ever tell her how you feeled ?
I have tried telling her, but it either doesnt sink or it ends up an argument. And when its an argument i say screw it.