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SlurpTASTY wrote on 2013-06-02 17:54
Hello nation, I'm a fairly new user here but I've taken quite the liking to you all. Even though none of you guys really know me, I'd consider you all my friends. So I'd like to share my story.
For the past year or two my life had been going great. Finishing high school with all my best friends, turning 18 (legal in Canada) and going out to clubs and drinking and drugs and all that stuff stupid teenagers do. At that point I had broken all the mental boundaries, things that troubled me such as social anxiety no longer were an issue to me. I was doing stuff the 14 year old mabi playing me thought I'd NEVER be doing. But although I was always busy with my social life, I never stopped playing MMOs and games. Anyways, eventually the novelty of going out and drinking and stuff wore out so naturally I came back to playing games and the first one I had in mind was mabi. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning on playing mabi seriously again as I did when I was younger and I still planned on going out with my friends. But then I found out my parents were getting divorced (yes, it still affected me at 18 I am a little bitch).
As the days went by the depression only got worse. I told no one and pushed away all my friends and just stayed at home. I'd go to fillia on an empty channel and literally just stare at my screen for hours. I started doing really shitty in university but I couldn't bring myself to care, I was literally hopeless. Eventually I found I could channel everything out by focusing on life skills. Within 3 weeks I had finished pretty much all my tailoring and blacksmith and carpentry talent. People on mabi would ask me why I'm always doing life skills and I'd say it was for dex, but really I just needed something to get my mind off things.
But that's not where things ends. After that I was diagnosed with hemoptysis, which is a type of lung cancer that WILL kill you (think Walter White). And the depression just went crazy. Again, i had too much pride to tell anyone of the cancer, even my parents didn't know. I decided I'd deal with this on my own. Unfortunately I still had to finish my spring courses (engineering QQ) but I couldn't seem to give a shit. When I'd go to class it would be so hard for me to see all my friends because of the facade I had to put up so they wouldnt think less of me. I started skipping most of my classes and failed both my midterms. I'd either just sleep all day or be talking to a very special someone (probably would've given up on life if it weren't for this person). Unfortunately even playing mabi was too much for me at my current mental and physical state. I'd have coughing fits so bad I'd lose control of my body while playing mabi and would get killed.
But yesterday something very special happened to me, I found out I was misdiagnosed and just have bronchitis (how do you even mix that up lol). When the doctor told me my mind couldn't even comprehend what had just happened. I was so happy I almost cried, the whole ride home I had the biggest smile on my face. Although its still severe and I will need to take some more time away from my friends, it won't kill me like lung cancer would have. Now I feel like I have no problems despite my family issues and fucking myself over in school. Ill just have to work harder during finals.
I'd also like to state that without a very special someone this whole experience would have been impossible. If there was one good thing that came out of this whole thing it would be that one person.
So yeah, there's my story. I feel like I was given a second chance to be able to experience life. As I write this I'm not sure if ill continue playing mabi. It's hard to play this game alone because unfortunately the majority of the people who play mabi are no longer the type of people who I get along with (pretty much everytime I type anything I am called a troll/someone gets offended). I also really get mad that I can only play with incapable fashionogis at my elfs current level. ;(
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Yoorah wrote on 2013-06-02 23:42
That was an interesting read. Glad you'll be ok. Don't slack off in school. :)
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Cho wrote on 2013-06-03 01:03
Thanks for sharing your story.
I think the fear of knowing you have something that can and may eventually kill you makes you value a lot of things like life 50000x more after you go through it...Even if it was a misdiagnosis. I've had my share of sleeping all day from depression because of a misdiagnosis as well. > <
Glad you ended up okay in the end, though. Good luck with your finals and everything else.
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mageisfun wrote on 2013-06-03 23:34
I'm glad things turned around and that you are okay now. I've suffered with severe depression before, so I know how terrible it can be, but I'm glad your better now!
:cheer:
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Rekhyt wrote on 2013-06-03 23:42
Thank you for sharing your story. I can't relate in any way so there isn't much for me to say.
I hope you find people to play with; I came back to mabi and found my old mabi friends last year. Now they all quit for RO2, so I made some new ones (all from nation :0!).
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SlurpTASTY wrote on 2013-06-04 00:13
Quote from Yoorah;1099865:
That was an interesting read. Glad you'll be ok. Don't slack off in school. :)
No no of course! Was only starting to not care because I thought my life was going to end. Even when my parents divorced initially I focused as best I could during school
Quote from Cho;1099894:
Thanks for sharing your story.
I think the fear of knowing you have something that can and may eventually kill you makes you value a lot of things like life 50000x more after you go through it...Even if it was a misdiagnosis. I've had my share of sleeping all day from depression because of a misdiagnosis as well. > <
Glad you ended up okay in the end, though. Good luck with your finals and everything else.
Ikr? I'm so so happy now that I know I'm not dying. I'm not gonna lie though sleeping all day was the shit haha.
Quote from mageisfun;1100423:
I'm glad things turned around and that you are okay now. I've suffered with severe depression before, so I know how terrible it can be, but I'm glad your better now!
:cheer:
Thanks so much!
Quote from Rekhyt;1100431:
Thank you for sharing your story. I can't relate in any way so there isn't much for me to say.
I hope you find people to play with; I came back to mabi and found my old mabi friends last year. Now they all quit for RO2, so I made some new ones (all from nation :0!).
Thanks, and yeah depression this bad is hard to relate to until you've felt it yourself. Just be thankful you haven't experienced it, haha. Currently I've found 3 people to play with. My waifu and two other friends of mine who I spend all my time on mabi with. Unfortunately though none of them are on as much as I'd like, have conflicting schedules, etc. I actually moved from Ruairi to Alexina so I don't really have any friends other than those 3.
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Yuuki Asuna wrote on 2013-06-06 23:53
It feels like your tone really flip-flopped with this post, haha. Before this, it always seemed like you were super aggravated with something and now I see why. Regardless, I'm glad you're not gonna die and wish you happiness :]
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SlurpTASTY wrote on 2013-06-07 04:29
Quote from Yuuki Asuna;1102345:
It feels like your tone really flip-flopped with this post, haha. Before this, it always seemed like you were super aggravated with something and now I see why. Regardless, I'm glad you're not gonna die and wish you happiness :]
That obvious? :cry: But thanks! :)
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Zeo wrote on 2013-06-07 06:10
Yes... I knew you thought you had cancer (even before you made this thread) for a while because your someone special had a sister who told me. I'm best friend with "someone special" and her sister that you know who.
Even though I'm indifferent to you, it is good that you don't have cancer though.
I do can see why some people think you come off trolling because you often liked to troll some people on Mabinogi, and sometime you came off rude to some people.
(like for example, I made the thread petition about black-haired and dark skintones elves, and you just randomly posted saying "Fake and gay." which is not really necessary, or when you said you don't "I trust men because they have bad intentions" is unreasonable too).
Just being blunt with you... but again like I said. It's good that you don't have cancer.
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SlurpTASTY wrote on 2013-06-07 06:38
Quote from Zeo;1102510:
Yes... I knew you thought you had cancer (even before you made this thread) for a while because your someone special had a sister who told me. I'm best friend with "someone special" and her sister that you know who.
Even though I'm indifferent to you, it is good that you don't have cancer though.
I do can see why some people think you come off trolling because you often liked to troll some people on Mabinogi, and sometime you came off rude to some people.
(like for example, I made the thread petition about black-haired and dark skintones elves, and you just randomly posted saying "Fake and gay." which is not really necessary, or when you said you don't "I trust men because they have bad intentions" is unreasonable too).
Just being blunt with you... but again like I said. It's good that you don't have cancer.
Never seen or talked to you in game. I have no idea who you are?
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SlurpTASTY wrote on 2013-06-07 16:44
Quote from Zeo;1102510:
Yes... I knew you thought you had cancer (even before you made this thread) for a while because your someone special had a sister who told me. I'm best friend with "someone special" and her sister that you know who.
Even though I'm indifferent to you, it is good that you don't have cancer though.
I do can see why some people think you come off trolling because you often liked to troll some people on Mabinogi, and sometime you came off rude to some people.
(like for example, I made the thread petition about black-haired and dark skintones elves, and you just randomly posted saying "Fake and gay." which is not really necessary, or when you said you don't "I trust men because they have bad intentions" is unreasonable too).
Just being blunt with you... but again like I said. It's good that you don't have cancer.
I apologize in advance to the mods for responding to Zeo's harassment but it is NOT okay that he come into this thread and accuse me of trolling and try to give me a bad name. I have really tried my best to keep a positive reputation by staying away from things such as this but Zeo's harassment is too much.
First off I am NOT a troll/rude player, anyone who has talked to me in game knows everything I say is in jest and light-hearted. Never have I deliberately gone out to try and make fun of another player. Most of the time I don't even say anything in public to begin with. The first claim you made of me being a troll by saying your thread was fake and gay was just one harmless post due to you constantly calling me a nigger, etc. As for saying I don't trust men because they have bad intentions, I have no idea what you are talking about because like I said I have never even personally talked to you in game and if you didn't notice, I am a guy.
[Image: http://puu.sh/3aoPI/6f79b7462c.png]
[Image: http://puu.sh/3aoRb/e4c508e8a5.png]
^ Those are some of the nice things Zeo (there is so much more horrible stuff such as making fun of me for dying of cancer, etc.) has to say about me, then he comes on this thread to call me a troll/rude.
I sincerely apologize to everyone for bringing stupid unwanted drama to this forum. I was not going to reply to Zeo's advances but then he also made a thread on nexon forums mocking me for having cancer. I'm not sure where this hatred towards me stems from, but it is going way too far. Although I wanted to keep the thread up so people could read my story, I will be closing it for obvious reasons. Thanks again to everyone who read this thread or gave me their condolences, as for Zeo it's hilarious a grown man could act the way you are.
Nvm I guess I can't close my own thread lol
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Tropa wrote on 2013-06-07 17:14
Quote from SlurpTASTY;1102659:
mocking me for having cancer.
If true, thats really depressing.
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Ithiliel wrote on 2013-06-07 18:56
Thread closed as per request.