Father forces son to hold pink ‘I am a bully’ sign on Texas highway

• Ninjam wrote on 2013-10-06 20:47

  Quote from Chockeh;1156356:

  
  This video shall always be the go-to video for beating your child. Of course, beating your child may not be the best option, so punishments such as this seem fair enough

  
  
  I wouldn't agree on beating a kid, but I would fully endorse being strict on fair punishments. My mother never was, and while that was fine for 3/4 of her kids(I like to believe I turned out ok...), as i have said before, my sister is just horrible. If only my mother had been more strict on the punishments when she was younger she probably would not have hung out with the wrong crowds, dropped out of high school, or many of the other numerous things she did which prompted me to flee my house to live on my own the moment I was able to.
• Chockeh wrote on 2013-10-06 20:57

  Quote from Ninjam;1156358:

  I wouldn't agree on beating a kid, but I would fully endorse being strict on fair punishments. My mother never was, and while that was fine for 3/4 of her kids(I like to believe I turned out ok...), as i have said before, my sister is just horrible. If only my mother had been more strict on the punishments when she was younger she probably would not have hung out with the wrong crowds, dropped out of high school, or many of the other numerous things she did which prompted me to flee my house to live on my own the moment I was able to.

  
  
  Yeah, my dad kicked all our asses when we were young and we haven't done anything too bad since we were all scared of him. The problem is that using fear is not a good way to maintain a healthy relationship. Being fair is probably the best way to have your children respect and open up to you.
• RebeccaBlack wrote on 2013-10-07 05:07

  Quote from TLCBonaparte;1156009:

  Well most people here are for disciplinary actions. I don't because I think communication between the kid and his/her parents is probably more important than discipline.

  
  I think communication is ideal and this really isn't the "best" way to go about it, but I don't think it's terribly harmful either. Obviously it's not necessarily his fault. Of course he could have a crappy home life. There are so many factors. But people also hold some responsibility for their actions even if they've suffered.
  
  I pretty much hold the view that most parents should seriously relax and accept that their own kid is an individual with their own personality. The problem is that many parents want to really control their children and form them around a certain set of rules and behaviors to suit them as if the child is an extension of themselves. My opinion is that those people should buy a dog and stop fucking with their kids.
• TLCBonaparte wrote on 2013-10-07 06:01

  Quote from RebeccaBlack;1156588:

  I think communication is ideal and this really isn't the "best" way to go about it, but I don't think it's terribly harmful either. Obviously it's not necessarily his fault. Of course he could have a crappy home life. There are so many factors. But people also hold some responsibility for their actions even if they've suffered.
  
  I pretty much hold the view that most parents should seriously relax and accept that their own kid is an individual with their own personality. The problem is that many parents want to really control their children and form them around a certain set of rules and behaviors to suit them as if the child is an extension of themselves. My opinion is that those people should buy a dog and stop fucking with their kids.

  
  
  
  If what I am thinking is true (I have no way of verify). Then the son is a symptom bearer. Consider a family a system, when some part of the system doesn't work, the error in the system is exhibited through a symptom bearer. That's where the troubles come from, but fixing the symptom bearer will not fix the system, as a result the error in the system will simply manifest itself in someone else within the system or resurface in the son.
  
  If this is indeed the case (From what I can tell, if father is making his son do this then it is quite likely an error in the family system). Anyway, if this is indeed the case, you can only fix the system by going for the system changer. This is someone within the system who has the ability to change status quo. I assume in this case that'd be the father.
  
  The reason why I suggested talking is because that's the only way to be sure if there is something wrong, and if I am a mediator in this case, I would find out the system changer and the error and work on that instead of the symptom bearer. That's why I think discipline the son might be a waste of time.
• RebeccaBlack wrote on 2013-10-07 07:18
  There are a few assumptions built into that, though.
  
  

  
  
  • That they don't already talk, or if they do, not sufficiently.
    
  • That people (or at least children) are always a product of their environment.
    

  
  Not everything has an environmental reason like that. There's some biology in there too and it's human nature to do everything people do. We can't always just turn off a switch like that in the same way we can't just talk a gay person out of their sexuality. I'm not turning it around and saying he has to just be "like this" and nothing could've influenced it, just that there's potentially more to it than that and we can't just know the solution. It's perfectly natural for people to be unkind to one another for one reason or another.
• Compass wrote on 2013-10-07 11:04
  I'd make my son's a living hell if he ever becomes a bully.
  
  Good for the day though.
• TLCBonaparte wrote on 2013-10-07 19:56

  Quote from RebeccaBlack;1156614:

  There are a few assumptions built into that, though.
  
  
  

  
  
  • That they don't already talk, or if they do, not sufficiently.
    
  • That people (or at least children) are always a product of their environment.
    

  
  
  Not everything has an environmental reason like that. There's some biology in there too and it's human nature to do everything people do. We can't always just turn off a switch like that in the same way we can't just talk a gay person out of their sexuality. I'm not turning it around and saying he has to just be "like this" and nothing could've influenced it, just that there's potentially more to it than that and we can't just know the solution. It's perfectly natural for people to be unkind to one another for one reason or another.

  
  
  That's the beauty of mediation. Mediators can help people find the real problem. Often times people are fighting about something, but what they fight about isn't really the problem, but an extension of the problem.
  
  But like I said, I don't have nearly enough information to make the call, if I make the call base on just the news, my prof'd give me an F. It's just a hunch on my part. It could be very well that you guys are right about the discipline thing.