How do you think the events of your childhood affected your life? I've been thinking about it recently, and I've noticed that even small things that didn't seem to matter at the time can affect how you behave for the rest of your life. Everyone seems to handle things differently, so even two people who had the exact same childhood could end up with different lifestyles, so I think it's interesting to compare how different people reacted to similar situations.
I suppose I'll start, seeing as I started the topic. Some things may be controversial, so I'm putting them in spoilers. Read at your own risk.
My dad left before I was born, ran off to Florida with a new girlriend and abandoned us both, never even paid Child support until I was half way through high school and he ended up on social security which they sent a chunk of to us to make up for missed payments. This has caused me to have nothing but hatred towards people that cheat in relationships or abandon their children. There is no excuse in the world that can make me forgive them.
When I was a baby my grandmother read me to sleep every night. Book after book, she would read to me until one or both of us fell asleep. As a result of this I have always loved reading, I had tons of books when I was a kid and was always reading more challenging things then everyone else. By the end of elementary school a test revealed I had the reading level of a third year college student.
[SPOILER="Underage Sex"]
When I was young I had a lot of sexual experiences. At least 6-7 before I was 10. This has lead me to disagree with the people who think that all people who have sex with children are bad because children are innocent and don't know what they're doing. I wasn't innocent, I knew what I was doing and I liked it, and the chances of me being the only one are less than 0. [/SPOILER]
By the time I was in 5th grade I had learned that whenever a girl tried to talk to me I should start the conversation with "No." because the only reason girls talked to me was to ask me out so that they could laugh at me with their friends for thinking I had a chance with them. The long term affects of which have been my knowledge that I will die alone.
The first time I tried learning to swim I nearly drowned, this turned me off swimming forever. I never learned and never will, even though I love being in the water. Luckily my height allows me to go to about the half way point in most pools and still touch the bottom with my head above water.
I was always bullied in school, from first grade until graduating highschool. I learned that the only way to deal with it was jokes and laughter. No one wanted to torture you if you could make them laugh until they were crying. This ended up spreading to other areas of my life, and I started handling most of my problems with laughter. This sometimes makes me look like a dick, because when others are crying I will be laughing. It's just how I learned to deal with things.
We have always been poor, I barely even saw my mom until I was 10 or so because she worked 2 jobs 7 days a week just to keep the house even though neither of us ever saw it because she was always working and I was always being babysat by my aunt. I never even got to learn to ride a bike because we could never afford one, and when the people I went to highschool with were getting cars as presents so they could actually get jobs and go places on their own I was stuck at home. This has caused me to value money above all else. It is one of the only things that matter in this world.
My mom always had cats from the time I was in middle school on. This was the cause of a lot of suffering for me, I was bullied because of it on a daily basis because no matter how clean I got my clothes, by the time I walked from my room to the door they were filthy again, covered in fur and smelling like cat. My bedroom door had to be closed at all times because if I left it open they would destroy everything I owned just like they did to everything in the rest of the house. It didn't matter what it was, if it existed they would destroy it. Everything from priceless family things passed down from grandparents, to brownies that were left on the counter to cool. They had to destroy it all. This has, of course, created within me an unbridled hatred of animals. I will never allow them in my house, and if I were married and my partner suggested getting an animal I would sooner divorce them then allow it.
We moved on almost a yearly basis. for the first half of my time in school. By the time I was in high school I had gone to 9 different schools. This made me distance myself from people and try to avoid making friends because I knew that none of the friendships would ever last so it was a waste of time and energy. Even now I still tend to distance myself socially, avoiding groups and thinking it's a shameful display to speak to strangers in public. Whenever I go to the store with my mom and she talks to a stranger I find it so embarrassing it feels like my head will explode.
I was always the smart kid. I got good grades, I was in the gifted and talented classes, and I had to deal with all the expectations that came with that. When you're smart everyone expects you to be amazing. Instead of being fine with a B or C anything less than an A is a failure. Everyone expects you to be a doctor or a scientist or something else only smart people can be. And then you feel like shit whenever you don't meet their expectations. I eventually got tired of it so I just stopped trying. I figured if I didn't put forth any effort everyone would assume I was stupid and expect nothing of me - And I was right. People who had been disappointed in my B's were happy just to see me get a C. And so that's how I stayed until half way through high school, putting forth just enough effort to not fail and nothing more.
I learned from a very young age that giving people a support network makes them lazy jackasses. Every group assignment went like this. Teacher chooses groups. Group figures out which member is smart. That member is forced to do everything while everyone else fucks around. This gave me a mentality of "People are worthless and either can't or won't help you, if I'm doing all the work anyway why should any of them benefit from it", because I was always the one stuck doing everyone's work.
I'm sure there was more but that's all I can think of at the moment. How did the things that happened to you as a child affect the adult you are now?