Hello friends. Today's documentary is about the most beautiful of creatures; the cow.
While we may think of these creatures as boring and mindless, in reality cows are quite aware of their surroundings.
Their audial and visual detection ranges are superb, for example they can detect players who get into view from up to 2000 units away, and their vision covers a full 90-degree angle. While being able to effectively cover 1/4th of Dunby square at a time with their vision is already an impressive power, their hearing (of things like noisy player skills) extends a full 2000 units radially, which is bigger than Dunby Square (~1,800 x 3,400) itself.
However, cows are nice enough (programmed) to simply not do anything upon detecting a player. After all, if we were to engage in combat with a cow we'd find out the hard way that it's a level 5 enemy. Compare this to an Ice Hyena at level 1, Skeleton at level 3, and Golden Rat at level 4. Obviously cows would be fierce enemies.
The younger of you may wonder what sort of situation would trigger a cow attack. Well, the one thing that pisses off cows is... attacking other cows. Cows instinctively know when another cow has been attacked, and will get angry at the attacker. Cows were made non-targetable to prevent this sort of nightmare, I assume. After all, cows have a 3-hit combo. The first hit kills you, the second hit kills your family, and the third explodes your country of origin just to be sure.
However, dye to rapid loss of the player base, cows were made non-targetable and a peace treaty was signed. Now whenever a player is within range, cows are content to wander in a 500 unit radius every 7-20 seconds and bless us with their milk instead of completing Cichol's plans in ways he could never hope to accomplish himself.
In addition cows will be distracted by passing bulls, though the ritual that allows cows to pass on their power only happens when the planets align into the shape of an udder once every generation questline release, so it has yet to be documented.
I have managed to dig up some other previously-unseen relics of the great fabled cows, yet I have not been able to decipher it.
[spoiler="Ancient Holy Writings"][code] <love type="love_watch">
<pattern name="cow watch" />
</love>[/code][/spoiler]All of my attempts at sending a copy of this text to the royal archeologist society for translation have gotten nothing but giggles and strange looks in return. I fear a conspiracy may be at work here, but please do await my next episode, "Simon: Confirming The Gender".