Do friends need to be changed by others?

• Kotoshiki wrote on 2010-09-22 00:49
  I have lost many friends in real life because people changed them and aggravates me. Why do people change their lives for them? I lost too much already, it's like they fell victim to a curse. They would disregard me in life, as if I do not exist. It hurts very much, but the pain causes me to anger on this.
  
  For an example, there was this girl who was very independent until she made new friends who were troublemakers. This girl changed from being independent/kind to a bad person.
  
  I am left unchanged as I changed myself earlier than everyone. Even if someone did force me to change, I would refuse because it's difficult to change me.
  
  The main question: Do friends need to be changed by others? Did you lose friends that were changed by others and never got them back?
• Andy-Buddy wrote on 2010-09-22 00:55
  Changed by others and you.
  
  Now that's a decision. Sometimes they need to be, to break bad habits.
  
  Sometimes, they don't.
  
  You really should decide on your friends. If they have good values, they'll change in a good way.
• hengsheng120 wrote on 2010-09-22 00:55
  can you be more specific on the situation?
  
  Normally, I would say, if you want them as friends and be a true friend, then you must go through it with them, whether or not they reciprocate. It's your job to keep your friends. If you are willing to sacrifice enough, eventually your friend will realize that you did more to help and they will come back to you. That's assuming your friend is just misguided and has the heart and mind for you and not an inherently bad person.
• Phunkie wrote on 2010-09-22 01:54
  I love this question.
  
  I too have had friends who've changed for the worst because of other bad influences. And lost some too.
  
  We can't force someone to change for us, but people shouldn't change because of others either. Yes, it's true that everyone you meet in life has some sort of impact on you in some way. Though it's up to you to decide what is right and what is wrong for you.
  
  It's sad when a friend doesn't come back though. But you should always try.
• Kotoshiki wrote on 2010-09-22 02:02

  Quote from Phunkie;162518:

  I love this question.
  
  I too have had friends who've changed for the worst because of other bad influences. And lost some too.
  
  We can't force someone to change for us, but people shouldn't change because of others either. Yes, it's true that everyone you meet in life has some sort of impact on you in some way. Though it's up to you to decide what is right and what is wrong for you.
  
  It's sad when a friend doesn't come back though. But you should always try.

  
  
  Thank you for answering this clearly.
• Halfslashed wrote on 2010-09-22 02:57
  Yeah, brainwashing doesn't work so well as me, due to events from the past that made me paranoid. They try to change me, but fail.
• woohoohelloppl wrote on 2010-09-22 03:51
  Do friends need to be changed by others?
  I don't think anyone needs to be changed by others. You can't just force someone to put on a mask and become a whole new person. People adapt to their environment as animals/ creatures do to theirs. Peer pressure and the media is part of this environment. Although changes can be positive, there can be a lot of negative changes as well.
  
  [ The first two statements do not apply if the person has a horrible personality and bad habits. ]
  
  If people would learn to overcome peer pressure, the world would probably be healthier than it is today.
  
  Did you lose friends that were changed by others and never got them back?
  Yes, I have. However, I'm still friends with most of them. The ones that I no longer associate with became emo, druggies, or just complete axxholes. Quite a few of my friends actually changed after their first relationship. It annoyed me so much. They left their friends to spend more time with their boyfriend and became completely different people. When their relationships ended, they would cry about all year...and had no more friends. Honestly, I believe they deserved it.
• Zid wrote on 2010-09-22 14:51
  Everybody's decision to change is usually their own decision, from what I believe. It's their right, and really, it all depends on them in the end. You cannot force someone to change for you with 100% chance of success.
  
  People usually change from what they experience, and most of those experiences come from social impact. That's as much as I can say before I start talking about the power of your influences.
• Kaeporo wrote on 2010-09-22 19:49
  Change starts and ends with you.