Being Asexual

• Cucurbita wrote on 2010-09-27 20:18
  You're right, the best way to make an example of how an asexual feels is probably to tell someone straight that it would be like imagining sex with someone of the same gender. I don't find it appealing, but in an asexual's case it applies to both genders.
  
  I'm wondering if being asexual means that you have a different aspect on OTHER things though. Like just overall human relationships, or interests.
  
  As for the whole taking pride thing, I'm not sure exactly where it stems from. My ex said she found all sexual interactions gross, and she's glad she's not interested in them (she didn't want children either :<) I personally think its a pleasurable experience and preference probably goes only one way most of the time. I enjoyed my asexuality. I can't really say this is true since I'm only speaking from my opinion, but I think asexual people would prefer not to be asexual (looking back on my life before puberty), but once you have a taste of sexuality you'd never go back.
  
  But thats just me. Feel free to dispute or back me up however you'd like.
• Haku wrote on 2010-09-27 20:29
  -Do you dream or imagine being in a relationship or being married to someone?
  While I've never dreamed of being married to someone, I have imagined being in a relationship with one person when I was much younger.
  -Do people really fantasize all the time or at least very often?
  I've never really fantasized. I'd say it varies from person to person.
  -We've all seen the sudden scenes in movies, could you ever imagine that happening?
  No, just no.
  -Do you ever wish you were not so sexual?
  Don't exactly get that question.
  -Some people say sexuality is a huge waste of time, your opinion?
  To each their own. For some people their sexuality plays a big roll in their life.
  -How would you feel if your child was asexual?
  I don't think I'd mind seeing as how I'm bisexual. They might not tell me, but if they did I'm 99% sure I'd be fine with it.
  -How would you react if your friend told you he was asexual?
  I wouldn't mind at all. Have an asexual friend btw.
  -Do you think I sound ridiculous or that I'm lying?
  No you don't sound ridiculous, and I don't think you're lying.
• Intex wrote on 2010-09-27 21:48

  Quote from Cucurbita;168224:

  I personally think its a pleasurable experience and preference probably goes only one way most of the time. I enjoyed my asexuality. I can't really say this is true since I'm only speaking from my opinion, but I think asexual people would prefer not to be asexual (looking back on my life before puberty), but once you have a taste of sexuality you'd never go back.

  
  Yeah one of my optimistic view points is that kids live much happier lives than adults, partly because they spend all their energy having fun, not trying to get with someone.
  I read people saying sex is the best thing ever and I think "How can something so uninteresting that lasts for some minutes be more awesome than watching all two hours of Inception?"
  
  It does seem like the pursuit of sex is driven by urges and not the physical feeling.
  Again, replace the girl with a guy on any generic "F yeah" story and the story would instantly become a huge turn off.
  Just like transvestites (or traps, etc.) might have gone through hormone treatment and surgery and look like a perfectly normal girl.
  The comments were like "Turn off once I realized it was a guy."
  Because she doesn't have ovaries? ._ .
  
  So I never want to consider the "Don't knock it til you try it" reasoning.
  It's like telling someone who does not like sweet foods to try cake.
  It might be the best cake in the world but that person won't like it.
• Phunkie wrote on 2010-09-27 21:53
  Sex is all about having a connection with someone. At least, it should be.
  
  It's a good connection.
  
  Also, are people who don't like having sex, asexuals? Or is that some sort of phobia rather than a sexuality?
• Kazuni wrote on 2010-09-27 21:54

  Quote from Phunkie;168353:

  Sex is all about having a connection with someone. At least, it should be.
  
  It's a good connection.
  
  Also, are people who don't like having sex, asexuals? Or is that some sort of phobia rather than a sexuality?

  
  
  Depends if they like other things having to do with a relationship :l
• Cucurbita wrote on 2010-09-27 21:59

  Quote from Intex;168341:

  "How can something so uninteresting that lasts for some minutes be more awesome than watching all two hours of Inception?"

  
  
  Oh no. I'd rather watch Inception than get laid. Its pretty bomb.
  
  

  So I never want to consider the "Don't knock it til you try it" reasoning.
  It's like telling someone who does not like sweet foods to try cake.
  It might be the best cake in the world but that person won't like it.

  
  
  But in this case, the better example is that the person who doesn't like cake doesn't like it not because he hates sweets, but he can't taste sweets. Understand what I'm saying?
  
  If he could taste sweets, and hasn't tried cake all his life, then its a different story. But asexuality is like you completely lack the taste for sexual activities.
• Intex wrote on 2010-09-27 22:01

  Quote from Phunkie;168353:

  Sex is all about having a connection with someone. At least, it should be.
  
  It's a good connection.
  
  Also, are people who don't like having sex, asexuals? Or is that some sort of phobia rather than a sexuality?

  
  
  That sort of thing might be from a traumatic event (eg. rape, kidnapping).
  Asexuality is a really loose term anyways, it would have to depend how that person feels about themselves.
  

  I'm not disgusted by sexuality, I find it laughable or annoying.

  
  My stance is that it's perfectly normal but I'd rather not see it everywhere (in shops, ads, movies).
  
  

  But in this case, the better example is that the person who doesn't like cake doesn't like it not because he hates sweets, but he can't taste sweets. Understand what I'm saying?
  
  If he could taste sweets, and hasn't tried cake all his life, then its a different story. But asexuality is like you completely lack the taste for sexual activities.

  
  Oh yeah, that's a much better analogy :D
• Phunkie wrote on 2010-09-27 22:07
  Do you think you could ever feel something romantic for someone in the future?
• Cucurbita wrote on 2010-09-27 22:14

  Quote from Phunkie;168412:

  Do you think you could ever feel something romantic for someone in the future?

  
  
  Its possible. You can be attracted to someone non-sexually, possibly due to upward respect, a deep connection via your shared thoughts/personalities, etc.
• Intex wrote on 2010-09-27 22:17

  Quote from Phunkie;168412:

  Do you think you could ever feel something romantic for someone in the future?

  
  Honestly, no.
  I've already met my ideal girl (stated in original thread) but I only want to be her friend.
  
  

  You can be attracted to someone non-sexually, possibly due to upward respect, a deep connection via your shared thoughts/personalities, etc.

  
  To me that's a friendship, they're worth more than relationships imo :O
  
  My standards are not insanely high or anything, it's easy to aesthetically please me.
  I can indicate who I find beautiful and I have watched music videos many times over just to see someones face or body.
  However, that's all I feel, I even tend to focus on eyes/hair rather than the body.
  The thoughts I form are "I wish I could draw his/her eyes and hair, they look so nice!"
• Cucurbita wrote on 2010-09-27 22:36

  Quote from Intex;168452:

  
  To me that's a friendship, they're worth more than relationships imo :O

  
  
  But relationships can be very meaningful. You can't stop thinking about said person, and you're reminded of them many times every day.
  You would go to great lengths for this person, sometimes putting them on a priority that is much higher than your own well being.
  
  Thats what I meant by a normal person dating an asexual. If they love them enough they would protect them from their disinterest in sexual activities by sacrificing their own desires. But then its a bit like downgrading them to family love instead.
  
  I'm wondering if it doesn't work the other way around. Have you ever valued someone that much?
• Zid wrote on 2010-09-27 22:41

  Quote from Intex;168341:

  It does seem like the pursuit of sex is driven by urges and not the physical feeling.
  Again, replace the girl with a guy on any generic "F yeah" story and the story would instantly become a huge turn off.
  Just like transvestites (or traps, etc.) might have gone through hormone treatment and surgery and look like a perfectly normal girl.
  The comments were like "Turn off once I realized it was a guy."
  Because she doesn't have ovaries? ._ .

  
  
  It's definitely the urges. Hormones are designed to pretty much crank up the urges (a lot in guys).
  
  Technically, the physical feeling is the reward, because the urges are the cause. It's a cause-and-effect. Much the same as food. In some (if not most) situations, you get the urge (i.e. go hungry, or go horny) so you do the action to fulfill that urge (i.e. eat, or have sex). The reward is pleasure (i.e. from being full, or... well, you get the picture).
  
  A straight person has his or her urges tailored towards the opposite sex, right? So when the opposite sex is encountered in a sexual situation, the (sexual) urges turn on, and the predictable cause-and-effect might happen, thus the person will have (and probably take) the chances of being involved sexually (to the person's benefit). Now, if it's the same sex (whether by homosexuality, bisexuality, or transexuality), the situation doesn't fit the "proper" requirements needed to turn on the same urge, and so a much, much lower chance of that predictable cause-and-effect might happen, thus (after a consideration of weighing the choices) the person will have (and probably won't take) a much, much lower chance of being involved sexually.
  
  Closed situation though. Not including things like love and all that.
• bebepanales wrote on 2010-09-27 23:58
  i wonder how old intex is :I
  if you dont want to say it its coo
• paladin wrote on 2010-09-28 00:29
  It seems like you just lack the drive or the desire to have relationships and such things
  Something may happen in the furture that might snap you back into a love trance and you wont even see it coming
  I put it this way
  People attrached to oppsite sex- normal magnet - opposites attract.
  Bi- magnet with one pole attached to one type.
  You- magnet thats deactivated or just different
  Your still a person but you just dont fall into the normal well flow of things with genders and such
  Thats not a bad thing either. Its alot better then being eaten away at the heart over love sickness,lonelyness, rejection etc.