"You don't need a lover..."

• Phunkie wrote on 2010-11-26 12:42

  ...you need a human being.
  
  [SIZE="1"]Disclaimer: There is no one simple formula for a successful and permanent relationship. This post is no attempt to provide a universal relationship formula. I am merely attempting to provide an opinion on a brief scale within the wide spectrum of relationships. I would beg those who disagree or have had different experiences to keep this in mind.[/SIZE]
  
  It has always been my opinion that many relationships fail because of a lack of realistic expectations. I myself have often used men for my emotional needs; taking and taking all they could offer, and never thinking about the long term consequences of the relationship. As a result, they became increasingly committed, whereas I basked in the attention and love, not even thinking about tomorrow.
  
  On the other hand, I have been in relationships in which I gave everything I had to offer emotionally, physically, materialistically... I did everything possible to ensure myself of their affection and time.
  
  Suddenly finding myself twenty and single for a somewhat longer period of time, I realized that I had never loved anyone for who they were, or how special they were. I easily transferred emotions to the next man who came along, because he could offer exactly that which I had valued in every other man before him. I had never cared about the friendship aspect. All I desired was their affection and attention.
  
  I had been craving nothing but a lover.
  
  But you don't need a lover. You need a human being.
  
  You need a friend. You need someone with flaws, and unique characteristics, quirks, peeks, peeves, and habits. Someone who is special to you; different from everyone else. A relationship is more than just the affection and the caresses. It's more than just the sex. It's more than the gifts and compliments.
  
  I think what everyone should strive for, is a relationship with someone whom you would not forsake even if they were left quadreplegic and disfigured after a horrible injury. Someone who would not forsake you if you were diagnosed with multiple sclerosis; who would stay with you even as you deteriorated to nothing.
  
  But that is not a lover. That is a human being. That is a friend, a partner, a mate.
  
  Naturally, being lovers is a crucial element of a relationship. Intimacy is important. But it is not the sole factor, and it should not be the defining factor.
  
  At the end of the day, you want someone who is a lover, a friend, a partner, and a mate.
  
  You want a human being.

  
  
  http://rockstarjuicenstarburst.xanga.com/736138531/you-dont-need-a-lover/
  
  I read this and I absolutely loved it.
  
  Just wanted to share it.
  
  Good morning!
• TA wrote on 2010-11-26 12:48
  I started reading.. hm... many relationships, lots of relationship experiences... okay okay. Then I got to this...
  
  

  Suddenly finding myself twenty

  
  
  I couldn't stop laughing. Seriously.
• Sleeperdial wrote on 2010-11-26 12:49
  I'm lucky enough to not even be out of high school yet and have that.:hi:
• Phunkie wrote on 2010-11-26 12:50

  Quote from Tasha;229463:

  I couldn't stop laughing. Seriously.

  
  
  Yeah! The sentence in that context seems a little exaggerated. haha
  
  But I like the message.
• Tokiko wrote on 2010-11-26 12:59
  From the first paragraph I can now tell she's a whore.
  Now let's share some lyrics.
  

  Dear Ms. Leading I hate to tell you that I no longer need your services
  A bitter fabricating manufacturer of lust
  You have been presented as
  It doesn't do a thing for me, I now know your identity
  A black widow who temps the gray with promises of love

• TA wrote on 2010-11-26 13:17

  Quote from Phunkie;229466:

  Yeah! The sentence in that context seems a little exaggerated. haha
  
  But I like the message.

  
  
  Noo, I'm not taking it out of context. I don't mean 20 relationships or anything like that.
  
  I mean it's hilarious that they think they're wise and have relationship experience when finding themselves twenty years old. Who knows anything when they're 20? lol
  
  I really can't take that seriously. I mean how many could they have possibly had by 20? They just sound like slutty mcslutslut to me. I mean really, someone needs to slow down.
  
  As for their astounding realization... eh, different people have different needs.
• Cynic wrote on 2010-11-26 17:44

  Quote from Tasha;229472:

  Noo, I'm not taking it out of context. I don't mean 20 relationships or anything like that.
  
  I mean it's hilarious that they think they're wise and have relationship experience when finding themselves twenty years old. Who knows anything when they're 20? lol
  
  I really can't take that seriously. I mean how many could they have possibly had by 20? They just sound like slutty mcslutslut to me. I mean really, someone needs to slow down.
  
  As for their astounding realization... eh, different people have different needs.

  
  
  I wouldn't say that. I've had countless people, but I'm not a slut. I'm just young.
  One gains nothing without experience first, no?
  I already have known the feeling of true love, and I am only 16. Age is simply a number. What counts is wisdom and maturity.
  
  Thankfully, however, I have this with my dear first love. (Ironically) I would never date anyone unless I can love them as a bestfriend first. I can't stand someone who I can't get along with on a 'friend' level. What fun is that? Romance gets boring sometimes.
• Cucurbita wrote on 2010-11-26 17:50

  Quote from Cynic;229564:

  I wouldn't say that. I've had countless people, but I'm not a slut. I'm just young.

  
  
  Countless people at 16.
  Its one thing to love, its another to jump at every crush and cycle through people like you do your shoes.
• TA wrote on 2010-11-27 01:28
  Countless people at 16.... y'know, not to be mean.... but you might be.
• Phunkie wrote on 2010-11-27 02:07
  Who cares how many people a person's been with? We all do, inside, but we shouldn't.
  
  That's something personal.
• Tedio wrote on 2010-11-27 02:13
  Sounds like a bunch of sappy nonsense to me, but maybe I'm wrong.
• gentrone wrote on 2010-11-27 03:50
  Imo nobody knows crap about love.
• Cynic wrote on 2010-11-27 05:08
  Doesn't mean I've slept with them all. =P Or anyone, for that matter.
  Everyone back in the day dated everyone, trust me. Not everyone is as intelligent emotion-wise as most people are. Me? I did it for the heck of it when I was a kid, too.
  Otherwise, it was because I liked the affection. That isn't a crime. I do feel bad for the people I hurt because of it, but during that time we were happy. That was all that matters.
  I don't see what's wrong with dating a lot of people if you actually like them, or are 'infatuated' with them for a short amount of time. Young people do that.
  I could have been worse, lord knows.
• Cucurbita wrote on 2010-11-27 05:17

  Quote from Cynic;230110:

  
  Everyone back in the day dated everyone, trust me.

  
  
  o boi
• TA wrote on 2010-11-27 06:14

  Quote from Cynic;230110:

  Everyone back in the day dated everyone, trust me.

  
  
  Well, I certainly didn't....
  
  I was always very selective and relationships lasted a very long time.