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Adelynn wrote on 2011-01-07 16:36
I thought about making this post at the start of Winter break, and then again on New Year's Eve, but somehow, I seemed to wiggle out of it. When winter started, I felt like a huge sense of failure had overtaken me, for reasons I won't talk about just because I don't want to. Even as I write I get a queasy sort of feeling because I know I'm not the person I want to be, but even so, I'm not so down on myself that I can't continue living.
So I told myself that over the break I would try to get closer to that person I want to be. Someone who's more rational, less lazy, fit, doesn't procrastinate as much, etc. I used to be a lot closer to being that person at some point, but something about 2010 just burned me out and made me feel like the person I once was would have screamed at me at the top of her lungs. I still falter, I still get really lazy, and the fear of failure still makes me put things off, but still I'm going to try. I'm not depressed or anything, just occasionally scared and baffled by my own laziness, and curious as to how other people feel about themselves.
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Devoth wrote on 2011-01-07 16:44
Quote from Adelynn;280390:
I thought about making this post at the start of Winter break, and then again on New Year's Eve, but somehow, I seemed to wiggle out of it. When winter started, I felt like a huge sense of failure had overtaken me, for reasons I won't talk about just because I don't want to. Even as I write I get a queasy sort of feeling because I know I'm not the person I want to be, but even so, I'm not so down on myself that I can't continue living.
So I told myself that over the break I would try to get closer to that person I want to be. Someone who's more rational, less lazy, fit, doesn't procrastinate as much, etc. I used to be a lot closer to being that person at some point, but something about 2010 just burned me out and made me feel like the person I once was would have screamed at me at the top of her lungs. I still falter, I still get really lazy, and the fear of failure still makes me put things off, but still I'm going to try. I'm not depressed or anything, just occasionally scared and baffled by my own laziness, and curious as to how other people feel about themselves.
Being someone you want to be is either something that comes naturally, or something that's an absolute nightmare. Or at least that's how I've seen it in most cases. Most of the time, you're either proud enough of yourself to be happy with yourself no matter what, or you often want to be far superior to how you are, and your goals only seem to become more and more distant due to insecurities.
Personally, I am the person I want to be, mentally. I've always had a few issues that I've had to battle, and I still do to this day, but it's become more of an accepted thing that I've grown to endure. I'm rather pleased with myself and my accomplishments, and while I strive to get better in each and every way, I make sure to tell myself to be proud of what I've accomplished so far. You should try to figure out the right amount of self-discipline and self-respect to help yourself act accordingly. Chide yourself when you know you're slacking and praise yourself when you know you've done a good job.
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Time wrote on 2011-01-07 16:50
I dont really have a strict definition of who I want to be, but I would say that so far, Im doing pretty good, I mean, of course there are some things I dont like, some things I could improve on, but overall I like well, me I guess.
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Cynic wrote on 2011-01-07 16:52
-Depressing sigh- Nope! But sadly, it's easier said than done. Some things you wish to change about yourself aren't just attitude, weight or things like that. Or, at-least it is so in my case.
I'm not even half the person I know I'm meant to be right now, lmao. But I guess if such an amazing thing was that easy to obtain, it wouldn't be worth it.
Just stay positive and always try your best.
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Liraiyu wrote on 2011-01-07 17:35
No. Not at all.
I criticize myself on everything I do. I always notice my flaws, and there's so many of them and they're so prominent... :(
Honestly, I kinda hate myself.
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Devoth wrote on 2011-01-07 17:38
Quote from Protoman;280433:
No. Not at all.
I criticize myself on everything I do. I always notice my flaws, and there's so many of them and they're so prominent... :(
Honestly, I kinda hate myself.
Don't hate yourself. Strive to better yourself.
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Cynic wrote on 2011-01-07 17:43
^ It's never easy, but that's what makes it such an amazing thing. Even if it's just little changes, everything counts.
It really does get better if you have faith in yourself. Remember, rome wasn't built in a day.. take baby steps.
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Phunkie wrote on 2011-01-07 17:47
I think I'm the person I want to be.
Of course, there's always room for improvement--like losing some weight and perhaps stop being so lazy--but I'm pretty content with who I am today.
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Perilous wrote on 2011-01-07 18:31
I'm usually hard on myself and my goals, but this year I will take things a bit easier. I'll always continue to improve but it's kinda hard when pushing myself so hard stifles my creativity and I end up in the wrong place. I think I'll just go with the flow, so to speak.
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Claudia wrote on 2011-01-07 19:59
Yes, to myself i'm perfect in every single way.
Seriously. I'm perfectly happy with who I am. I wouldn't change anything about myself and I seriously doubt anything could change me. [SRSLY].
It's kinda hard to explain, but yes. I'm content with being who I am.
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Shirayuki wrote on 2011-01-07 20:07
I'm pretty happy with who I am. I'd say the only thing about myself that I'm not content with is the fact that I don't do what I'm supposed to do. Ever.
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Mama wrote on 2011-01-07 20:13
things always work out in the end.
that's my mantra.. and if things dont go right and i feel some cognitive dissonance it makes me feel better and lets me move forward.
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Kayate wrote on 2011-01-07 20:36
I think I'm fine the way I am
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Adelynn wrote on 2011-01-07 20:42
I found the responses interesting. It's like someone said, it's usually on two extremes, but I feel like I'm kind of in the middle.
I was in the "content enough with myself" stage, but now I'm "just now discontent enough to notice just how many things I really want to change about myself. Some physical things, and some habits could do with changing, haha. ^^;
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Tokiko wrote on 2011-01-07 20:58
Nope.
Hate myself Physically and Mentally.