I'm so scared

• Cucurbita wrote on 2011-01-15 15:14
  I'm hiding in a small coffee store tucked in the corner of a coffee store 3 towns over and I'm still paranoid of being discovered.
  
  My parents are very traditional about the "graduate college in 4 years after highschool and get a job" plan, and they religiously believe its the only way to do well in life. I dropped out after the first year, and I've dicked around for an year and a half. To my excuse, I was just exploring new things and deciding what to do with my life.
  
  In any case, with every passing semester my parents were getting more and more pissed off that I'm not going back to the U, so I told them that I lied and told them I'm going back on Spring this year.
  
  Well, today is the day. The last day before I have to let them know that I'm actually not going back until FALL semester. My brain has been in overdrive the past few days trying to come up with excuses, "good newses", and "backup plans".
  
  Just imagining their reaction makes me feel nauseous. I've never felt this way. I have to give myself a nudge to prevent me from passing out. Yes, this is how much I fear my parents. I fear them more than anything else in the world.
  
  I can go get a job... I know two employers who would hire me on the spot. As much as I hate working... if I can tell my parents I have a job until then maybe it would help a bit... I can bull**** a little more and tell them I managed to claim a campus job and first picks on my classes for Fall semester...
  
  And if things get bad I have two friends who would let me stay at their house :gloom2:
  
  I don't know what to do... I'm even writing a script in case I freeze up.
• Devoth wrote on 2011-01-15 15:17
  Out of curiosity, perhaps so I can better give an opinion..
  
  Why do you fear them so much?
• Cucurbita wrote on 2011-01-15 15:22
  They're scary scary people.
  
  They believe in fast schooling religiously. They even put me in 1st grade a year early.
  Me telling them "I'm waiting another semester to go to college" is like a kid telling his religious parents "I don't believe in God".
  
  **** goes down.
• Devoth wrote on 2011-01-15 15:27
  Yes, well, it sort of looks like your only option is to tell them, but of course, you've already come to that conclusion, hence the thread, ya.
  
  Hmm..
  
  If you are TRULY planning on going back in the fall, I'd explain it to them, and I'd also quickly bring up the job thing. Be honest with them about what's really been on your mind and why all of the BS has delayed you. Tell them you've got a plan now, and you DO plan on filling your time up 'till fall with one of the aforementioned jobs so that you can put some money back. Also, I wouldn't bull**** them too hard. That sort of thing always has a way of coming back around to bite you in the ass. Honestly, sounds like the main thing you want to reassure your parents of is that you're capable of being responsible and that you DO actually have a plan.
• Cucurbita wrote on 2011-01-15 15:29

  Quote from Devoth;291400:

  If you are TRULY planning on going back in the fall, I'd explain it to them, and I'd also quickly bring up the job thing. Be honest with them about what's really been on your mind and why all of the BS has delayed you. Tell them you've got a plan now, and you DO plan on filling your time up 'till fall with one of the aforementioned jobs so that you can put some money back. Also, I wouldn't bull**** them too hard. That sort of thing always has a way of coming back around to bite you in the ass. Honestly, sounds like the main thing you want to reassure your parents of is that you're capable of being responsible and that you DO actually have a plan.

  
  
  Thats what I had to do the other 3 times to keep them off my ass.
• Devoth wrote on 2011-01-15 15:30

  Quote from Cucurbita;291403:

  Thats what I had to do the other 3 times to keep them off my ass.

  
  
  Well, you said you've been thinking of different ideas.. Share what you've come up with so far?
• Cucurbita wrote on 2011-01-15 15:33

  Quote from Devoth;291405:

  Well, you said you've been thinking of different ideas.. Share what you've come up with so far?

  
  
  1. Neet at home
  2. Penis
• Devoth wrote on 2011-01-15 15:35

  Quote from Cucurbita;291408:

  1. Neet at home
  2. Penis

  
  
  *Headdesk.*
  
  Really, due to the number of times you've done it already, the only option really appears to be re-explaining to them.. except.. somehow trying to sound more passionate and convincing than the other times.
• Zid wrote on 2011-01-15 16:56

  Quote from Devoth;291410:

  *Headdesk.*
  
  Really, due to the number of times you've done it already, the only option really appears to be re-explaining to them.. except.. somehow trying to sound more passionate and convincing than the other times.

  
  
  And most likely get yelled/receive high corporal punishment.
  
  Running away (wait, you're over 18) is a bad idea, if you don't have a). money, b). a stable job or will have one where you'll be, and c). you know for a fact you won't get hunted down by police.
  
  I really don't know what to do here, since Asian parents are adamant against changing themselves... The best I can say is that I'm sort of in your situation, and that I'm holding things off.
• Cucurbita wrote on 2011-01-15 17:04

  Quote from Zid;291444:

  
  I really don't know what to do here, since Asian parents are adamant against changing themselves... The best I can say is that I'm sort of in your situation, and that I'm holding things off.

  
  
  I suggest you do whatever you need to asap. I keep messing things up for myself because I hold things off.
  
  If I have to run away, theres a few friends who might house me, and I can get a job, but I doubt I can stay too long without being a sore sight for their parents.
• Devoth wrote on 2011-01-15 17:10

  Quote from Cucurbita;291453:

  I suggest you do whatever you need to asap. I keep messing things up for myself because I hold things off.
  
  If I have to run away, theres a few friends who might house me, and I can get a job, but I doubt I can stay too long without being a sore sight for their parents.

  
  
  With the right amount of reasoning, I really don't think it should come down to this, but on the other hand, I've no clue what your parents are like, so.. I guess your top priority might be getting one of those jobs. Immediately. If not to be an accessory in convincing your parents that you're worthy of their standards, then for the sheer fact that the income is going to be your lifeline.
• Kueh wrote on 2011-01-15 17:18
  Well there are generally two ways to go about dealing with parents when you did something wrong. The truthful way, and the untruthful way.
  
  I suggest you take one of those jobs you mentioned, then tell them something that makes them believe taking the job was more important than applying that semester. You could say it was a really competitive spot, it gave priority registration, or it was related to the job you were gonna get once you graduated. (Yes, my truthful way still involves lying.)
  
  Or you could just pretend like you had been going that semester leave every day but you're going to the job instead of school. As long as they never insist on accompanying you to school, you should be fine.
• Skye wrote on 2011-01-15 17:56
  My advice? You went wrong right about...here.
  
  

  Quote from Cucurbita;291392:

  I dropped out after the first year, and I've dicked around for an year and a half. To my excuse, I was just exploring new things and deciding what to do with my life.

  
  
  Shouldn't've done that. Why'd you drop out anyway, when you were already in?
• Zid wrote on 2011-01-15 18:04

  Quote from Cucurbita;291453:

  I suggest you do whatever you need to asap. I keep messing things up for myself because I hold things off.
  
  If I have to run away, theres a few friends who might house me, and I can get a job, but I doubt I can stay too long without being a sore sight for their parents.

  
  
  I'm about to be finished. I'm starting on a job this summer, and actually choosing classes for the degree I need (read: I have no choice; I have no want).
  
  I think it might be better to find an apartment with somebody you know, and agree to split the pay, but that's just me. At least it won't look like you're leeching.
• Arsik wrote on 2011-01-15 19:59

  Quote from Skye;291478:

  My advice? You went wrong right about...here.
  
  
  
  Shouldn't've done that. Why'd you drop out anyway, when you were already in?

  
  
  He basically flunked out of school and never bothered to reapply.
  
  My advice? Man up and tell your parents that you aren't going back to school this semester, take one of those jobs, and if your parents do kick you out of your house, stay with a friend until you earn enough money for a security deposit and first month's rent for an apartment of your own, or if your close with your friends, at least just room there as long as you pay your friend's parents rent.
  
  Or you can take one of those jobs and take courses online. It'll probably piss your parents off more, since they won't think that you'll get a real diploma by attending an online school, but at least this way, you can help get some more credits for if you do go back to school. And I only say if because with each passing semester you don't go back, the likelihood you do go back gets lower and lower until you reach a point where you go "**** it" and never bother with considering college anymore.
  
  Then there's the very unlikely scenario in which the US grants you citizenship, in which case you can join the military, specifically the army, since in the army, you can kinda choose which field you can go into after Basic Training, depending on your ASVAB scores and personal background. If you choose to make a career out of it, you can retire in 20 years with a very good retirement package, better than many people that have been working for 40-50 years. But since you've been in the US for a while now, the chances of this is also very low.