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Yanm wrote on 2011-02-18 04:39
WARNING! LONG READ AHEAD!
Guys, this is serious. I really need to know am I being a complete douchebag or is it something else? To start it off:
I've lived with my grandmother for most of my life. Did she have to take care of me? No, she chose too do so. However, my side of the story is that she's actually a real pain. Not senile or anything, but because she complains a LOT. Example being: She wants me to find "something". She describes it too me, yet I still can barely picture it in my head. So I go to look for it and I say I don't see it. She says she sees it and points to it, yet I still can't find it. She starts to get irritated and begins to raise her voice. Me: I still don't see it Gram. Her: SIGH! JORDAN, IT'S RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU! *Bends over and picks it up* YOU SEE THIS? THIS IS IT! LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION!! Me: *........Grumble.....* That's just one of many things that irritates me about her. I've dealt with that ALL of my life and I'm honestly sick and tired of it. I used to be a lot sweeter and nicer she says, but now I've become so selfish. It is true that I was possibly a lot nicer than I am now, but I have my reasons for changing, which I guess I'll let y'all know since I don't see it as too personal.
I used to be labeled as a crybaby and I still see myself as one. It was so bad that you could give me a dirty look and I'd start turning red. Being a crybaby, along with being easily irritated is NOT a good combination :T_T:. Anyway, to combat my sensitiveness I attempted to turn my heart cold and not care about much stuff anymore. It HAS worked, but not to the degree I wanted it too. I wanted to throw away my sensitive side, so I wouldn't start crying or tearing up so easily. While that has worked slightly, whenever I'm irritated people can tell I'm about to start crying, even though I can hold it back somewhat. In making myself cold, I've stopped caring about a lot of things and for me, people have to earn my respect in order for me to give respect. I've become even more stubborn than I already was naturally and I honestly can't stand authority. People telling me what too do is all right at times, but forcing me to do something and talking down too me like I'm literally a 5 year old irks me pretty badly. Granted, I am 17 and all, and I can still be considered a child but still, it's one of my pet peeves. Back to my grandmother though....
So, she says that I've become very disrespectful and she also complains about how I'm on the computer all the time. Now, sometimes she calls for my help, but most of the time when she does that, I happen to be in Vindictus or some other game where if I go AFK, I die pretty much. When I'm in mabi, I simply play dead and rush over so I can get back and finish what I was doing. Today, my mom was coming home from her classes and gram asked me was I watching her. I was in a Hoarfrost Hollow gauntlet and only the White Tyrant was still alive, so I was trying to not die anymore and I said I couldn't at the time. She complained, saying there should be no excuse that I shouldn't be able to go check and watch out for her when she pulls into the driveway. She even goes as far to say that she wishes I loved my mom MORE than my Computer. ......What? HUH? WHAT?! I LOVE THE COMPUTER MORE THAN MY MOM?! :mad:
So we finish the gauntlet and I get 2 polar bear sacks, but it just gives me 42k gold >_>. Anyway, I go out the door and I see she's pulled in the driveway. I watch her as she puts the car up and I go to confront her. She corrects me saying that it seems like I love the computer more than I love my own mom. I then challenge her, saying that she's also on the computer as long as I am and often plays Solitare. She says she has nothing to do and no one to look after, and I say I don't have much else too do except be on the computer. Then she talks about how I'm still a child and she's grown. I then ask her, "Do you really think adulthood matters to me?" She says of course not, as apparently nothing matters to you except that game. Then she says, "Get out of here boy. You're getting on my nerves." "Well, that makes two of us since you're also getting on my nerves as well." Then she pretty much says she's done talking and me, being in a sarcastic mood, I say this, "So you mad? Yup, she's mad. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" *Walks out room laughing* I understand the sacrifices she made and all, and I honestly do love her for that, but all of the constant complaining and profanity and the raising of her voice, cause she normally does talk loud kinda offsets everything else to me at least.
My question is, Am I being a complete douchebag and showing her no respect or are my reasons actually decent?
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Pierce wrote on 2011-02-18 04:46
Kind of tl;dr
How old are you though? This is important for my answer...
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Skye wrote on 2011-02-18 04:51
Quote from Pierce;339941:
Kind of tl;dr
How old are you though? This is important for my answer...
This also will affect my answer.
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Conor wrote on 2011-02-18 04:54
Well, I don't blame you for being irritated by it 'cause that'd sure as hell get on my nerves as well. However, I feel that you shouldn't go about situations like this by being "cold" and "less sensitive" for those still don't address the problem of being non-confrontational/passive. When she really gets to you, try counting to ten slowly and taking deep breaths. Like, I know that sounds stupid and a lot of people like to suggest that, but it honestly physiologically works.
And being sensitive really isn't a bad thing. Emotions are emotions, and everyone has them, some put up guises better than others (which isn't a good thing to practice.) Instead, I suggest that you express to your Grandmother what you don't really like her to do, and try not to get angry or anything. Just compromise.
gl tho :C
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Pierce wrote on 2011-02-18 04:55
Quote from Skye;339952:
This also will affect my answer.
Okay, sorry. Just noticed he mentioned it after reading the 5th paragraph.
So, um, 2 women vs a young man can be nasty. How old is your mom?
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Lolicon wrote on 2011-02-18 05:00
Quote from Yanm;339952:
Granted, I am 17 and all, and I can still be considered a...
Yeah.
I kinda have problems like this with my parents. They think I'll work at McDonalds for the rest of my life because I play too many video games. I still have mostly A's at school, and I'm not even in high school yet.
Enough about me, onto you. Honestly, we're really still young. Puberty can hit us hard. I don't blame you for being annoyed, but being cold and insensitive doesn't help.
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Skye wrote on 2011-02-18 05:11
OH. That's only the second paragraph. >> Well, I guess third, if you count the first little line.
ANYWAY, here's my view. You're still only 17, thus a minor, thus you really don't have a right to disrespect anyone like that. But, maybe that kind of treatment is a norm in your family (it's disrespect in mine...not trying to put you or your family down), so then I guess it really doesn't make a difference. But I still feel you could probably be a little more respectful. I understand the part about the computer; my mom often calls me for something when I'm in a boss fight, but she normally understands that I'm not available at that particular moment in time.
I'd say just try to be more patient and have a little more respect. My grandmother gets on my nerves often, but I never treat her like that.
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Chillax wrote on 2011-02-18 05:44
Suck it up and take it as a learning experience, because first, you aren't supporting yourself, and second, chances are, you might have a boss that's even worse.
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Wing wrote on 2011-02-18 05:47
I kind of understand since my grandma is about the same as yours. I have a cold side as well.. only when i'm feeling really really awful. But I don't think that's considered being douchebag.
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Cynic wrote on 2011-02-18 14:48
Honestly, I do understand somewhat. She sounds rather hard on you, and I know having that constantly can be a real downer.
Although it is important to respect your parental figures, she should also respect you to treat you as a boy of your age, not like a child. You're only a year(?) from being legally an adult.
All I can say is try and talk it out with her, have a heart-to-heart. Otherwise, try and put up with her a bit longer and wait until you can move out.
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Taycat wrote on 2011-02-18 16:00
You are being a douchebag.
Who walks out of the room laughing at something like THAT?
Seriously, what's wrong with you?
I don't even do that to my mom.
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Cynic wrote on 2011-02-18 17:19
Quote from kNocturn;340228:
You are being a douchebag.
Who walks out of the room laughing at something like THAT?
Seriously, what's wrong with you?
I don't even do that to my mom.
You've obviously never had harda-s parents before.
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Mama wrote on 2011-02-18 17:26
while it was putting fuel into the fire, you obviously didn't deal with her in a mature manner; so in that sense both you and your mother is at fault. At the same time your g'mother seems extremely annoying. If I was in your situation I'd either ignore her or fight back with logic. (pff, logic. that hardly ever works against emotion)
I'm just going to suggest that you attempt to moderate your gameplay a bit, maybe study somewhere in your house for an hour so she can see that you care about other things. Offer to help clear the table after dinner, something like that. If she's the type to never be satisfied, then she's merely using your computer gaming as just another object to complain about all the time, so in that case i'd tolerate it until I move out.
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Taycat wrote on 2011-02-18 17:28
Quote from Cynic;340294:
You've obviously never had harda-s parents before.
My dad is pretty hard on me, but he's never around except for certain weekends and certains nights until he goes to sleep.
So I guess I'm lucky?
Regardless, he should treat his parents and grandparents with respect.
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Wing wrote on 2011-02-18 17:29
Quote from Mama;340305:
while it was putting fuel into the fire, you obviously didn't deal with her in a mature manner; so in that sense both you and your mother is at fault. At the same time your g'mother seems extremely annoying. If I was in your situation I'd either ignore her or fight back with logic. (pff, logic. that hardly ever works against emotion)
I'm just going to suggest that you attempt to moderate your gameplay a bit, maybe study somewhere in your house for an hour so she can see that you care about other things. Offer to help clear the table after dinner, something like that. If she's the type to never be satisfied, then she's merely using your computer gaming as just another object to complain about all the time, so in that case i'd tolerate it until I move out.
if I fought back with my grandma I'd probably get my ass kicked out but it ain't even her house. @_@