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Hiccup wrote on 2011-07-31 15:06
So basically one of my close friends and I are having a situation, for lack of a better word. Long story short he got a girlfriend, about 2 months ago and is now spending every waking moment of his life with her. Completely disregarding the fact that he has friends. Now I get to see them both at work (friends with him and her soo) but I'm not a work friend, I'm an actual friend.
Example: He leaves at 6:30pm, and his gurl gets her first break then too so they go on break together and buy a new light for her car. I was stuck ppl greeting but she finally came back not too long after they went on break so I walk out towards my car and sit under this tree. They walk outta garden center and I go over to meet em. He told me to just sit back down and not come over, because "I need to talk to my girl". Even though he was seeing her tonight.
I've tried talking to em but he just kinda didn't see how serious this is and just blew me off. I haven't even been able to hang out with em in 3 weeks-ish because every night after work is spent with his gf.
What should I do? I still wanna be his friend but this doesn't make me feel like I am one anymore.
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Sleeperdial wrote on 2011-07-31 16:03
If he's really you're friend he'll realize something is up. If he cares about you he'll make an effort to stay friends. If not then he's not the kind of person you want to be around anyway. But cut him a little slack before you push him out of your life completely or anything. If you do need to move on, make sure you let him know and don't get suckered in by anything he might say.
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Sumpfkraut wrote on 2011-07-31 16:20
Maybe you could try approaching him over his gf.
If there is no way to do that, just stop trying to do anything. If he respects you he will notice there is something amiss, if he doesn't, well, then your friend is an egoistical asshole and I'm sorry for you and his girlfriend. Or only for you, considering that she should have noticed but appears to ignore.
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Chiyuri wrote on 2011-07-31 16:24
Many people tend to priorise love over everything else, I've been forgotten by some of my friends who found love, I have to say it kinda suck to be left behind like that. I got mad at that multiple times until I understood something. They were not worth my time. Things feel much better now that I cut my emotionnal bond to those friends, if I see them I'll talk but otherwise, I do nothing anymore to bind with them.
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Zid wrote on 2011-07-31 23:02
It's natural to prioritize love/(maybe lust) over friends. After all, some people do say their lover is pretty much their best friend.
That doesn't mean ignorance for everything else though. On one hand, you're a close friend who wants to do stuff with him, so that's fine. On the other, just know that you've been moved down lower on his list of priorities, not because he's possibly being a jerk, but because someone else needs more attention from him.
If you don't want to feel empathetic with what goes on in his life, that's understandable. I usually wouldn't expect people to know what or who they take for granted.
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Hiccup wrote on 2011-08-01 01:44
So I ended up ignoring basically all day, until an hour before he left and told em we needed to talk. He said if its about him spending all his time with his girl then I need to get over it. Wouldn't even gimme the opportunity to talk to em after he was done until I finally convinced em to gimme 5 minutes. So since I was still on the clock I headed out to his car 5 minutes early and waited another 15-ish. Didn't come out. So I went inside to look for em and didn't find em. So I walked back to his car only to see em driving away before I even got out the door.
I'm pissed. Is this even worth wasting my time on?
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Ithiliel wrote on 2011-08-01 01:49
Quote from Hiccup;533496:
I'm pissed. Is this even worth wasting my time on?
Honestly? No. At this point it isn't. From what you've told us your "friend" hasn't been acting like a friend at all, but rather like an inconsiderate arse who doesn't give a damn about you. A friend like that is not worth your frustration or your time.
He'll see his mistake as soon as the relationship turns sour.
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Hiccup wrote on 2011-08-01 01:53
I know that. And I know somewhere in there he know's it as well but he's just so blinded right now.
He told me before that he held my opinion over everyone else's, I know that's not true since he wouldn't even gimme the time of day. Obviously my opinion doesn't matter anymore, and neither does our friendship. I've seen soooooo many people make this mistake and regret it EVERYTIME. It's not even the first time a close friend has done this to me.
:[
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Ithiliel wrote on 2011-08-01 01:55
:\ I'm sorry Brad, it really shouldn't happen to anyone.
For now though, please don't be too upset over this. I know it hurts but in the end he's the one who's going to come running back saying, "Man I should've listened to you when you wanted to talk".
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Hiccup wrote on 2011-08-01 01:58
And I'll be like **** you! gtfo!
:l
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Conor wrote on 2011-08-01 02:02
Not worth your time. It's a lesson that one has to learn on his own.
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Chillax wrote on 2011-08-01 02:05
Times change. That's why you don't put all your eggs in one basket.
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Hiccup wrote on 2011-08-01 02:35
Of course this happens when I try and quit smoking. FML
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Zid wrote on 2011-08-01 04:39
Quote from Hiccup;533496:
So I ended up ignoring basically all day, until an hour before he left and told em we needed to talk. He said if its about him spending all his time with his girl then I need to get over it. Wouldn't even gimme the opportunity to talk to em after he was done until I finally convinced em to gimme 5 minutes. So since I was still on the clock I headed out to his car 5 minutes early and waited another 15-ish. Didn't come out. So I went inside to look for em and didn't find em. So I walked back to his car only to see em driving away before I even got out the door.
I'm pissed. Is this even worth wasting my time on?
If that's how he feels about you, might as well humor him and not spend time with him anymore.
Don't feel too bad. It's not like you could have done anything else, from what I read.
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Hiccup wrote on 2011-08-02 08:51
Quote from Zid;533703:
If that's how he feels about you, might as well humor him and not spend time with him anymore.
Don't feel too bad. It's not like you could have done anything else, from what I read.
I don't, and he doesn't care. I can 100% guarantee that he's gonna come crawling back after Aug 21'st cause that's when his gf goes to college. I just have to decide if I want em to be my friend again.
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah