well... im beginning to think i did love him as a friend a lot~ i wasnt attracted to him as a guy likes a girl i dont think~ that is why i didnt expect to feel this horrible. oh well~ what's done is done. i hope he forgives me.
Do you know what he looks like in real life? Have you ever talked to him via voice/webcam?
Anyways, you shouldn't too emotionally involved in an online relationship (even as a friend) unless you know him really well IMO, at least don't let it affect how you feel in real life. It's kinda dangerous if it's uncontrolled.