Santa - What will you tell your child?

• TA wrote on 2011-09-11 03:32
  What will you tell your child about Santa?
  
  I thought about it while in the shower, and it'll go a little something like this...
  
  Having an intelligent child, of course my child will question the existence of Santa, especially when their friends start to tell them he's fake. And so, this is how it'll go... First, I'll apply to their logical minds, and then I'll spin them a colorful believable tale (in the mind of a child, of course).
  
  [SPOILER="Spoiler"]Child: Mommy, does Santa really exist? One of my friends told me he wasn't real.
  
  Come here, let me tell you a little secret.
  Tell me, what have you been told about Santa?
  
  I see. Everything you have been told up until this point has been a lie. But I'm going to tell you the truth.
  You'll have to keep quiet about this, because not a lot of people know and if the wrong people find out... there's no telling what will happen.
  
  You see, Santa doesn't actually visit every child in the world's house to deliver presents on Christmas Eve. No, that would be logistically impossible, even if he did have some sort of magic to instantly teleport to each house. Once you factor in even at least 30 seconds to go down the chimney, reach into his bag and put out all of the presents, you have to think...
  
  There are nearly 2 billion children in the world. So this means Santa would have to spend 30 seconds at 2 billion houses. That is 4 billion minutes in a single night. Do you know how long that is?
  
  66,666,666 hours, which is 2,777,777 days, or 7,610 years. Even if Santa only spent 15 seconds, or even only 5 seconds, it would still be thousands of years every single year, which makes it impossible.
  
  Santa would have to freeze time, but there's no way Santa would spend thousands of years every single year just to deliver presents to little children. Nobody is that nice, and as we know... time travel isn't really possible. That's just made up.
  
  No. The truth is... Santa does really exist, but what everyone has told you has been a lie. You've just been told stories to deceive small children, but you're smart. Don't be deceived any longer.
  
  You see, Santa does really live up at the North Pole, but he doesn't visit houses on Christmas Eve. In truth, Santa has a massive mind controlling device that uses the earth's magnetic field on both poles to control a massive mind controlling device that he uses each year to control every child's parents every year to go out and buy them gifts.
  
  Yes. I, too, have been victim of this. Even the Santa at the mall, all of them are just ordinary people that have been mind controlled by Santa Claus to go to the mall and gather the lists of presents that children want. Sometimes he will even control little people, or others, to pretend to be elves.
  
  You see, the reason he does this is because Santa can't read nor control the minds of children. So he must control these fake Santas to gather what their presents will be. He will also use the parents. In fact, it's more convenient to use the child's parents, as they will be the ones controlled to gather the gifts.
  
  And you see, Santa himself does not have infinite resources nor a horde of elves slaving away for him. No, he has each parent use their own money to buy their children gifts. It's ingenius, really.
  
  Blah blah blah, I'm still working on this... But that's the general spiel.[/SPOILER]
• Intimacy wrote on 2011-09-11 03:35
  Santa is fake, we made it up so you would enjoy Christmas more.
• Skye wrote on 2011-09-11 03:35
  I'll tell them Santa exists, and when they get old enough to figure it out on their own, they can figure it out on their own.
  The only issue I ever had with the story of Santa was in elementary school when two friends of mine tried telling me he wasn't real. I feel no anger toward my mother for telling me a lie, and I have very very fond memories of Christmas cookies for Santa. And lettuce/carrots for the reindeer.
  
  So hopefully I can do for my children what my mother did for me.
• TA wrote on 2011-09-11 03:40

  Quote from Skye;584230:

  I'll tell them Santa exists, and when they get old enough to figure it out on their own, they can figure it out on their own.
  The only issue I ever had with the story of Santa was in elementary school when two friends of mine tried telling me he wasn't real. I feel no anger toward my mother for telling me a lie, and I have very very fond memories of Christmas cookies for Santa. And lettuce/carrots for the reindeer.
  
  So hopefully I can do for my children what my mother did for me.

  
  
  You can still do that. Just, once their innocence becomes shattered by their friends... that's when you make the play, and confuse them for years to come!
  
  :lol:
• Sekwaf wrote on 2011-09-11 03:46
  I like your idea actually (mind control seems a bit...odd though...) I might just use something similar. Nothing wrong with a lie that will become very obvious when they grow up and realize it was all just for fun.
• Science wrote on 2011-09-11 03:49
  [S]If they question if Santa exists, I'll tell them he doesn't.
  [/S]
  

  Quote from Moppy;584240:

  I'll live the decision to the wife.

  
  
  nvmthis
• Moppy wrote on 2011-09-11 03:50
  I'll live the decision to the wife.
• Chockeh wrote on 2011-09-11 03:50
  If my child is anything like my family, I guess we just never really believed in him, lol. Actually, I never had a parent-son talk about these kinda things ( like sex, santa, tooth fairy ) ever in my life o-o.
• Lan wrote on 2011-09-11 03:59
  Hopefully my child will be smart enough to figure it out himself, (aided by the fact that I will bring down the presents while he's looking). Bahahaha.
• Kazuni wrote on 2011-09-11 04:00
  I'll leave the decision to the husband.
• Claudia wrote on 2011-09-11 04:04
  I'd tell them yes, Santa is real.
  
  When they start to question it (probably when they're anywhere from 8 to 14), i'll tell them that Mommy and Daddy are Santa's Helpers, and we help tell Santa what presents he should get and sometimes we wrap them and put them under the tree just to help him out. After all, Santa has a lot of good boys and girls to visit, yes? He can't possibly do it all in one night!
• Wasbewwi wrote on 2011-09-11 04:10
  [S]You should have took pictures in the shower.[/S]
  
  Tell them it's real, then put gifts under the tree, go back to bed, and then make them BELIEVE.
  
  Believe in the Christmas SPIRIT!!
• Kenny? wrote on 2011-09-11 04:30
  I just hope he or she is intelligent enough to know the truth... Although if not... I honestly don't know what to say
• Strawberry wrote on 2011-09-11 05:15
  I'd tell them that Santa is real, because Santa really is usually the parents when the child goes to sleep.
• Meikeru wrote on 2011-09-11 05:32
  "Hey kiddo! Did you hear what happened last night? Some crazy guy dressed in red furs was yelling on the president's roof so the Secret Service went and shot the poor fellow. Something about nation security. Then the funniest thing happened. Some yahoo released twelvish maybe nine reindeers on the grounds so they then shot the poor animals. PETA was quite pissed at this naturally. So to annoy them, the SS had a big roast using the reindeers."
  
  Something like that.