Help me Write a Script! (Pretty Please)

• Akemii wrote on 2011-12-13 22:38
  So I'm working with the most unenthusiastic partner on the planer. So far what we have is this:
  
  

  
  Rough Draft
  
  
  Characters:
  
  • Allan Smith, 20-25 young and naïve, was once homeless and currently works at a grocery store. Previously held multiple jobs. Lives by himself in an apartment and steals from grocery store he works at to help support homeless people.
  • Cindy Barrett, middle-aged woman, 45 years old. A manager at the grocery store Allan works at. Borderline overweight with 3 kids and husband who is a well paid lawyer. She is very melancholy and easy going, takes a love to peeve her.
  
  Setting:
  
  • Small grocery store in Queens, New York. A more run down locations with a higher amount of homeless than other parts of New York.
  

  
  
  
  Like, I have no idea where to go with this. I really really need a setting, more indepth setting I mean.
• Medusa wrote on 2011-12-13 22:41
  depends on what kind of a plot you'd like to have.
  is it being written to be performed, or just to be turned in?
• Akemii wrote on 2011-12-13 22:50
  Written to be performed, but like nothing really good. Just go up there and read the parts.
• Medusa wrote on 2011-12-13 22:53
  the obvious route would be to have cindy catch allan stealing, or perhaps seeing him donating/helping the homeless.
  writing a confrontation for these two would be very easy.
• Akemii wrote on 2011-12-13 22:55

  Quote from Medusa;690840:

  the obvious route would be to have cindy catch allan stealing, or perhaps seeing him donating/helping the homeless.
  writing a confrontation for these two would be very easy.

  
  
  That's what were going for. Haha, but like I currently need a better described setting before we go on with the script.
  
  I'm disgustingly uncreative.
• Akemii wrote on 2011-12-13 22:55

  Quote from Medusa;690840:

  the obvious route would be to have cindy catch allan stealing, or perhaps seeing him donating/helping the homeless.
  writing a confrontation for these two would be very easy.

  
  
  That's what were going for. Haha, but like I currently need a better described setting before we go on with the script.
  
  I'm disgustingly uncreative.
• Chillax wrote on 2011-12-13 22:55
  Does your partner show much emotion? If not, maybe he/she should be typecast into a Napoleon Dynamite or Eeyore-type role.
• Medusa wrote on 2011-12-13 23:01

  Quote from Akemii;690844:

  That's what were going for. Haha, but like I currently need a better described setting before we go on with the script.
  
  I'm disgustingly uncreative.

  
  
  the setting seems rather implicit. just put it in the ghetto or something. O:
  how detailed do you need it?
  maybe one of those corner grocery outlets you see in really crowded neighborhoods.
• Akemii wrote on 2011-12-13 23:06

  Quote from Chillax;690845:

  Does your partner show much emotion? If not, maybe he/she should be typecast into a Napoleon Dynamite or Eeyore-type role.

  
  
  He is a jock. Wrestling and stuff. Just sits there and pretends to be thinking.
• Chillax wrote on 2011-12-13 23:21
  Is there a prompt you have to follow or do you have a free hand?
• Akemii wrote on 2011-12-13 23:27

  Quote from Chillax;690869:

  Is there a prompt you have to follow or do you have a free hand?

  
  
  Words of my teacher:
  
  There has to be two characters, and something has to happen.
• Akemii wrote on 2011-12-14 17:00
  Bump because any little thing would help.
  
  Any input or anything.
• Skye wrote on 2011-12-14 17:18

  Quote from Medusa;690840:

  the obvious route would be to have cindy catch allan stealing, or perhaps seeing him donating/helping the homeless.
  writing a confrontation for these two would be very easy.

  
  
  I like this, but I'll elaborate.
  The thing starts off with him stealing some canned goods. He then clocks out of work and says bye to the lady. Then he goes down to a homeless shelter and donates the canned goods.
  Next day, while he's stealing again, whats-her-face witnesses it. At first she does nothing, but she decides to keep an eye on him. After she sees him do it two or three more times, she confronts him. The guy panics. A scuffle starts. Woman somehow accidentally cracks head open on something and dies, leaving her family with no mother. Guy goes to jail. The end.
  
  Or you could not do the scuffle and just get him fired and homeless again.
  
  OR he could explain that he donates to the homeless in the area, and somehow the manager decides that instead of this guy having to steal stuff for that to happen, the store itself will donate some things at the end of each week.
  
  Hopefully there's something there you can use.
• Akemii wrote on 2011-12-14 17:56

  Quote from Skye;692138:

  I like this, but I'll elaborate.
  The thing starts off with him stealing some canned goods. He then clocks out of work and says bye to the lady. Then he goes down to a homeless shelter and donates the canned goods.
  Next day, while he's stealing again, whats-her-face witnesses it. At first she does nothing, but she decides to keep an eye on him. After she sees him do it two or three more times, she confronts him. The guy panics. A scuffle starts. Woman somehow accidentally cracks head open on something and dies, leaving her family with no mother. Guy goes to jail. The end.
  
  Or you could not do the scuffle and just get him fired and homeless again.
  
  OR he could explain that he donates to the homeless in the area, and somehow the manager decides that instead of this guy having to steal stuff for that to happen, the store itself will donate some things at the end of each week.
  
  Hopefully there's something there you can use.

  
  
  Those are great, actually. I wanna scratch off the part where it says he used to be homeless, cause that was my Partner Andrew's idea, I just put it in because I felt bad since he was having a real hard time with it. I didn't go to school today but I doubt he made any progress to be honest.
• Phunkie wrote on 2011-12-14 21:57
  This sounds really interesting!
  
  I'll help you tonight!