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Kenny? wrote on 2012-05-17 20:30
If you ask me, marriage is more than what people think it is. If I ever get married, I'm looking at it as a way of developing your relationship and not as a fancy label you can put on you and your significant other. Marriage would be my way of expressing my desire to truly dedicate myself to my partner and really show them that I love them and I want to spend the rest of my life with them.
Sure, I can do that without getting married, but marriage is what says "It is done". It's the final and ultimate commitment.
To me, the reason the divorce rate is so high is because people rush into marriage sometimes without thinking it through and without truly asking themselves if that person is who they want to spend the rest of their life with. I mean, marriage is a touchy subject and it creates a lot of deep emotional ties too. If you wanna stay with someone in marriage for the rest of your life, you have to be able to commit yourself to such a strong bond.
Marriage is the start of a new life and unfortunately, many people throw it away over and over and pick up new spouses. When you get married, you are promising to not part till death and to stay together in both sickness and health. Many people divorce because of stupid issues like money or simple arguments (not that money isn't a key role or anything). But the fact of the matter is that when a couple argues, they grow stronger together. A relationship isn't a good one if you and someone else don't argue. When you truly dedicate yourself to your marriage, you are falling in love with your spouse in a much more sincere and meaningful way. You raise each other up and grow in one another.
This is the display of True Love. Another reason the divorce rate is so high is because people choose lust over love, materials over emotions and freedom over commitment. There is a lot of emotional support behind marriage that shows what true love can do. When you REALLY marry someone, you confide in one another and you talk to one another so that you can be there for one another and help each other through life.
Marriage IS WORTH IT. It IS something that we should still do, even with the divorce rate so high. All it takes is commitment and the ability to look past faults. Nobody's perfect and no relationship will run smooth without arguments. People will continue to argue and people will continue to lose interest in each other. What's important is that you realize that the only way to save your marriage is to fall in love again. Look back and ask yourself why you got married. Was it because of money and materialistic objects? Or was it because you truly loved your partner and you really wanted to live life together as one unit so that you can grow emotionally in one another?
Marriage has potential you know. If people can just stop for a moment and ask themselves what they really see in someone, they will be able to answer whether it is worth it or not. Just ask yourself what you see in your to-be wife/husband. If the first thing you say "because they're handsome/pretty and they have money", then chances are they're not for you.
Marriage requires effort from both persons. If one person is struggling, then the marriage will not be as strong as it can be. Both the husband and wife have to work together to keep the marriage alive and hot.
Finally to Milk, YES, MARRIAGE IS WELL WORTH IT.
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Milk wrote on 2012-05-17 20:38
Quote from Himeko;866178:
Yea T__T I can totally understand these feelings and understand where you're coming from.
I'm surprised I have such a positive view towards marriage actually, because when my mother's first marriage was falling apart she had an affair with someone.
The result?
/points to self ;;
Dont worry about it :3.
People shouldn't look at the way or reason they were brought into this world :3.
As for the being surprised you had a positive reason part.
My parents have been happily married since the day I was born. They did have a like a time period where they fought alot (when i was around 12 years old) but they got passed it and I havent heard them argue for a long time now. o~o; In fact ive even walked in on them having sex before..
/surpresses images.
But the point is that you are you and your reasons for seeing a certain thing in a certain way are based of your chooses and empathy.
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Deitylight wrote on 2012-05-17 21:00
So you have been listening to what I've been saying all these years after all.
It's good to see that Milton.
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Milk wrote on 2012-05-17 21:02
Quote from Deitylight;866195:
So you have been listening to what I've been saying all these years after all.
It's good to see that Milton.
Rofl I love you DD :3 Lets get married. Wait... -remembers what you did to zoe at my mabi marriage.
Nvm owo;.
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Bride wrote on 2012-05-17 21:02
Quote from Himeko;866150:
Why not get married?
Why not experience a heartfelt ceremony that you get to share with your family and friends?
Why not take up the opportunity to say your vows to someone, to give them a ring, with a special engraving? (Even though you should always cherish your partner on a daily basis to begin with /referring to vows part)
It's romantic and special and life is short. I don't want to limit my experiences, especially when it comes to customs that I find to be one of the most beautiful things.
It's something you remember for the rest of your life.
YES SO MUCH
tired of all the cynicism over marriage i'm seeing. i still value it a very great deal
Quote from Himeko:
I will say it should be thought through carefully though and not just jumped into. Really get to know your partner and if you are interested in marriage make sure you're committed to them fully.
also this, it's a mistake i've seen made so many times and it always pisses me off
It's nice to see there are a few folks on Nation that actually have a positive outlook on marriage though
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Deitylight wrote on 2012-05-17 21:06
Quote from Milk;866196:
Rofl I love you DD :3 Lets get married. Wait... -remembers what you did to zoe at my mabi marriage.
Nvm owo;.
[SPOILER="Spoiler"]
Prepare your anus[/SPOILER]
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Milk wrote on 2012-05-17 21:13
Quote from Bride;866197:
YES SO MUCH
tired of all the cynicism over marriage i'm seeing. i still value it a very great deal
also this, it's a mistake i've seen made so many times and it always pisses me off
It's nice to see there are a few folks on Nation that actually have a positive outlook on marriage though
There are plenty people with a positive view on marriage itself.
I think I was just expressing my disappointment and frustration in trying to understand why over half the marriages in the USA end in divorces. It kinda takes something wonderful and covers it in mud making it look like trash when you look at the stats and percentages of successful marriages and those that end in divorces.
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Bride wrote on 2012-05-17 21:24
Quote from Milk;866200:
There are plenty people with a positive view on marriage itself.
I think I was just expressing my disappointment and frustration in trying to understand why over half the marriages in the USA end in divorces. It kinda takes something wonderful and covers it in mud making it look like trash when you look at the stats and percentages of successful marriages and those that end in divorces.
it doesn't seem like there are plenty of people with a positive view of it on these forums though, this isn't the first thread about marriage we've had or anything
and from the first part of the initial post, it sounded to me like you were saying marriage was a label or a contract (and pointless), then called it wonderful ¬0¬
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Cannibal wrote on 2012-05-17 21:26
I have a positive outlook on marriage, I just don't see the need in it for personal reasons. Yeah, chances are I'll get married one day, but I don't see much importance in it. I think it's a wonderful and beautiful thing, but I can love and cherish my partner just as much without.
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Milk wrote on 2012-05-17 21:28
Quote from Bride;866203:
it doesn't seem like there are plenty of people with a positive view of it on these forums though, this isn't the first thread about marriage we've had or anything
and from the first part of the initial post, it sounded to me like you were saying marriage was a label or a contract (and pointless), then called it wonderful ¬0¬
I said it was a label for people who have already been living with each other and having sex for about 5 years or more. I did kind of ramble on a bit though so I don't blame you for the confusion.
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Cynic wrote on 2012-05-17 21:46
Quote from Bride;866197:
YES SO MUCH
tired of all the cynicism over marriage i'm seeing. i still value it a very great deal
also this, it's a mistake i've seen made so many times and it always pisses me off
It's nice to see there are a few folks on Nation that actually have a positive outlook on marriage though
That's actually pessimism, not cynicism. Cynicism is recognizing that bad ship happens isn't surprised when it does, but still strives to make things out to be good rather than bad. (i.e. instead of whining over the bad shit like pessimists, they take life by the reigns and refuse to take all the bad shit that comes towards them)
Just FYI.
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Bride wrote on 2012-05-17 22:27
Quote from Cynic;866220:
That's actually pessimism, not cynicism. Cynicism is recognizing that bad ship happens isn't surprised when it does, but still strives to make things out to be good rather than bad. (i.e. instead of whining over the bad shit like pessimists, they take life by the reigns and refuse to take all the bad shit that comes towards them)
Just FYI.
that's the first time I've ever heard cynicism involves trying to see things in a good light
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Sekwaf wrote on 2012-05-17 23:44
You're right, it is just a label to put on a relationship. But many people want that label, and take comfort in what it symbolizes.
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Kueh wrote on 2012-05-18 00:15
There are legal benefits to being married, and a lot of people don't realize that marriage is not an emotional or spiritual statement. It's an economic one.
All these posts about love are confusing me.
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Milk wrote on 2012-05-18 00:47
Quote from Kueh;866319:
There are legal benefits to being married, and a lot of people don't realize that marriage is not an emotional or spiritual statement. It's an economic one.
All these posts about love are confusing me.
Marriage has always been tied in with Romances and spiritual reasons.
Just look at fairy tales for example. The Knight rescues the princess & sweeps her off her feet then they get married & live together for the rest of their lives. People want that experience & marriage has always been viewed as the path towards happiness.