Quote from BobYoMeowMeow;964472:
this is somehow worse than giving first blood in LoL
An intense fight begins in top lane as Darius suddenly decides he can take his opponent by surprise with the hook of his weapon. The enemy Garen silences Darius, preventing him from using his spinning technique. Rengar was jungling near by, but he cannot arrive fast enough before the conclusion of this battle. Both ignites and exhausts go off, multiple potions are queued in panic 300 ELO desperation, and eventually the final blade of Demacia falls on the Noxian corpse.
"First Blood" a loud voice announces to all those in the rift. The whole team laments over the 400 gold handed over to the enemy team. Garen has barely managed to survive, and the hemorrages caused by Darius's attacks are dropping his health bar ever so low. Rengar has arrived for the rescue, but too late to save the hand of Noxus. But he sees Garen running in to the brushes, with less than a hundred health! He gives chase, and though he cannot see the armored champion, he extends his arms to spread the tall grass apart.
Demaciaaaaa! A blade strikes in to the chest of the hunter. Darius regains consciousness in the fountain, he checks his bag of gold to see that he has 240 gold, not enough to buy anything significant... he picks up a ward and a red potion when suddenly:
"An ally has been slain"
Now Garen has another 330 gold. He not only got first blood, he also killed the jungler.
Results: Garen 730 kill gold, has blue and red buff. Darius no kill gold. Top lane is fucked. It only snowballs from here. 8 minutes later, the tower goes down and Garen is fed. As lane phase ends and team fighting begins, Garen becomes an unstoppable force of destruction. The team cannot help but blame Darius (and subsequently Rengar) for tossing the entire game.
Back to the point at hand.
The cat believes bush policies crippled Obama's first term harder than first blood in league of legends. Highly improbable, I say, if only because there's a reasonable limit to how bad things can get, and this is pretty bad.