Love

• Ithiliel wrote on 2013-04-12 03:29
  Love is an interesting concept. How do you even begin to describe love? Is it that sappy true romance we see in the movies? Is it a concept in which you don't believe? Is it simply loving another person no matter their faults? I don't know.
  
  For me, love is an interesting concept. I'm absolutely terrified of it, if I'm being honest. Yet, I find myself in love. It terrifies me. There's always the looming question of, "What if I'm not good enough? What if it changes once we're in the same place? What if it's all just a lie?" That's what I fear. I fear that love is a lie, that it will just leave as quickly as a beating heart.
  
  Fuck, love is terrifying. Yet, at the same time it's so exhilarating to know that somebody out there wants me, just for me. No gimmicks, no "oh well I only want you if you act like this". I can't even begin to describe how nervous I am about being in love, and how much it takes for me to admit it or even say, "I love you". But I do, I love Inti, and it terrifies me because I fear rejection and heartbreak.
  
  How do you even know you're in love? At one point do you think, "I'm in love with this person"?
• Kazuni wrote on 2013-04-12 03:35
  I think I love and change my mind too easily.
  
  Up until a point where I'm not sure whether I really love that person but like, how are you supposed to define love anyway? It's as strong as I think it could ever be, but I'd just wake up and realize I changed my mind. Does that mean that I just didn't love them in the first place? Who knows..
  
  I'm too young for overly complicating things so I'm just out for fun :D
• FallenDanny wrote on 2013-04-12 03:45
  I think of love as a more intensive form of caring.
• imagine95 wrote on 2013-04-12 04:06
  love is blindness
• Space Pirate Nithiel wrote on 2013-04-12 04:15
  Love is just an involuntary chemical reaction and nothing more. Were I able to alter my brain to not react to these chemicals I would do so without a second thought.
• Yoorah wrote on 2013-04-12 04:22
  I've read something cute that's related to this and I more or less agree with, so I'll just quote it:
  

  During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"
  
  The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
  replied the author.
  
  Here's the answer.
  
  Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
  fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
  want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
  
  People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
  
  Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
  
  Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
  
  At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
  may begin to desire that experience with someone
  else. This is when relationships breakdown.
  
  The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
  
  People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
  
  Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
  
  I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
  
  Because (listen carefully to this):
  
  The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
  
  SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
  WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
  
  Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
  
  Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
  
  Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥

• Iljimae wrote on 2013-04-12 06:51
  Love is subjective to every individual, just as everyone shows caring in their own way.
  
  Here's my own thoughts.
  
  I believe in the concept of love, just as I believe in the concept of beauty. I see the science and logic of things in front of me, yet I still believe in these concepts. In fact, I don't just believe in them. For me, love is the only rational act and gives meaning to what had felt like a meaningless life previously. I was okay with a meaningless life in my own way at that time, but should I ever go back to that, my perspective and feelings will be very different. Very empty. When you think about the human race and the fact that we're trapped on not even a spec of a rock in the scheme of the universe is tragically beautiful. The way humans can love one another despite that is one of the most beautiful concepts I have ever encountered.
  
  Love is the concept so powerful it intensely overwhelms anything and everything else in your life and it changes you.
  
  I have dated quite a few people before I settled into the relationship I am in now. They were all people I felt for very dearly and each relationship was an experience that led to me to where I am now.
  
  Where I am now, is with someone who I can say without a doubt is the person for me. The one. The one like no other before. The one person who came into my life and transformed me. The one person who makes me want a family, something I hardly ever expressed interest in before. The one person who I feel completely and utterly connected with in indescribable ways. The one who I try my hardest to not be selfish with. The one who is my friend and my lover. The one who challenges everything about my being. The one who I love.
  
  I would rather spend my life alone than with anyone else but him. Which could be viewed as extreme, I understand - but for me, I love him. My life is overflowing with all the spectrum of emotions because of him. Everything is more beautiful. The sadness and the pain that will surely scorch my soul I will take it all to spend a moment of my existence with him. All the colors of existence, despite how much I love humanity and life, would fade and crumble into grey the day he's no longer a part of this world.
  
  He sees me fully, understands and accepts me in a way that lets me drop my guard, be understanding of myself, and grow. There are times when neither of us feels deserving of one another and times when we want to run away to protect the other from the qualities we feel will end up hurting them. Even while the other person sees those qualities and embraces what we view as the monsters of ourselves.
  
  The thing is, for all that he makes me feel, for all the burdens he bears because of my presence, for all the happiness he brings me everyday, for all the colors he's splashed onto my life, and for all the experiences yet to come that will surely make my life undeniably overflowing with beauty that is not possible without him - he deserves me. I hope that through our love for one another, we will slowly continue to be more understanding and loving of ourselves in the ever progressing moments of time we share together.
  
  
  To answer your question simply, after all that I have said. Yes, I know when I am in love. I am unmistakably in love. There is no uncertainty or skepticism. I love him and everyday I'm with him there are quiet special moments, where he might be smiling, sleeping or even talking to me and I think "I love this person." Passionately and infinitely, I love him.
• Sumpfkraut wrote on 2013-04-12 17:09
  Personally I can't be bothered to philosophise much about love. While it's a great thing to feel and complements a relationship just fine, the causal relationship between falling in love and being chosen as a potential future mate is more or less reversed in my case.
  
  I.e. I look at how their personal characteristics as I get to know them complement my requirements in sexuality, partnership and parenthood for my future children, then decide if they would be a good fit (that is if I do not misinterpret the data I have at hand...) and love develops naturally after that. It can get very, very, very severe then though.
  
  I would never choose who gets to be my future mate on how madly I am in love with them, and I tend to double check myself in case I sense that I do, and I have terminated a relationship relatively recently due to that, as unbearably horrible as it initially was. I'm willing to take a risk or two, even severe ones, but it should be tangible/calculable. I have neither if I primarily base my decisions on an intransparent, notoriously unstable emotional attachment. That's just pure gambling. I'd rather wait a few more years if I really must than throw myself into someone's arms double-blindfolded.
  
  

  Quote from Iljimae;1067101:

  [...]

  
  From what I gather about your approach to this matter I am a bit concerned about you two, but I wish you the best of success anyway.
• Bride wrote on 2013-04-13 14:12
  Love is different for everyone. There wasn't really a defining moment in my life where I knew I was in love with the person I'm with; it was a very gradual process. Looking back, I thought I was in love a lot sooner than I actually was, and made some crazy decisions based on my feelings of infatuation. They weren't wise and could have ended very badly, but things worked out for the best and I don't regret making them
  
  I was never fearful of rejection, I was afraid of being left. Eventually I got over that, and now I just feel a total sense of comfort and peace with my SO. We're almost never physically apart, but when we are, I always have a sense of happiness and relief when I see him again. I hope this feeling never goes away, as we've only been living together for 4 months, but I do know I've picked the right person. The feelings I have for him now have changed so much from the infatuation I felt as a teenager, but they've definitely changed for the better, and I can't imagine life without him. He's certainly the person I want to spend my life with, and I know he feels the same way
  
  I'm always surprised when people say love is overrated, but maybe it's that they've never actually experienced love. I could very well be wrong, maybe love just isn't for everyone, but I can say it's the best thing I've experienced in my short life so far :)
• Lie wrote on 2013-04-13 15:42
  It would mean putting yourself through pain if you love somebody, if that's what it takes.
  
  It would mean even if the person you love rejects you, you somehow just won't give up even if it's the rational thing to do.
  
  It would mean accepting a life (and death) where you won't be together with that person who doesn't love you back, a sort of tragic life to keep that person happy so you can be happy.
  
  Why? Is love such a concept to throw your life behind? Is sacrificing yourself for the happiness of another person worth it?
  
  Love can be beautiful and dismal.
• Sumpfkraut wrote on 2013-04-13 16:23

  Quote from Bride;1067722:

  I'm always surprised when people say love is overrated, but maybe it's that they've never actually experienced love. I could very well be wrong, maybe love just isn't for everyone, but I can say it's the best thing I've experienced in my short life so far :)

  
  I have, with many of its consequences, repeatedly. That's why I'll never put all my bets on it alone.
  
  Maybe they've just become jaded because they failed at it.
• Kitkat wrote on 2013-04-13 18:59
  Just remember that love and lust are two different things. There is no such thing as "love at first sight". That's lust.
• naomily wrote on 2013-04-26 07:54
  love fuck us all up :shoe:
• Kyishi wrote on 2013-05-19 05:54
  love is stupid
• Cyrene wrote on 2013-05-23 00:42
  I'm not sure what love is, but that feeling I get when I talk to my girlfriend, knowing that she will never leave my heart even if one day we are no longer together.. I always feel warm when she is around or even on the phone.. We have our disagreements, but I could not live without her, and even if we disagree, we are still holding hands.