If I Can't Accept You at Your Worst, Then Maybe You Should Stop Being So Horrible

• Space Pirate Nithiel wrote on 2014-02-02 00:09

  Should our selfishness, impatience, and weakness preclude us from being loved? No. But should these traits be "accepted"? Should they be "received with approval or favor"? Should our loved ones "consent" to them?
  
  No.
  
  Big no.
  
  Enormous, loud, screaming no.
  
  Should we scoff at our husbands or wives or boyfriends or girlfriends and flippantly tell them to "handle it," as we behave in ways that will hurt and offend them?
  
  No. And if you think that -- if you REALLY think that -- then you shouldn't be getting into relationships at all. You aren't ready.
  
  Further, does our "best" (which probably isn't as great as we imagine it to be) make up for, or negate, our "worst"?
  
  No. Your worst is your worst. Fix it. Be better. Nobody should have to put up with it. Least of all the people you love.

  
  
  
  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matt-walsh/if-i-cant-accept-you-at-y_b_4673582.html
• Hanna wrote on 2014-02-02 02:02
  This is probably the most pessimistic bullshit I've read all week
  Ever notice these are the types of guys who write bullshit like this and then bitch about women not loving "nice guys" like him
  
  Cry me a fucking river
• SlurpTASTY wrote on 2014-02-02 02:51
  I'm not gonna lie, I didn't read it, but I always thought the "if you can't handle me at my worst..." quote was a big bowl of SALAMI. Seriously who even says that shit and feels justified in saying it? It's dumb, fuck you Marilyn Monroe.
• Chockeh wrote on 2014-02-02 04:20
  This is agreeable.
• Yoorah wrote on 2014-02-02 04:22
  It is indeed. I don't see why someone would take issue with something so elementary, LOL.
• Campylobacter jejuni wrote on 2014-02-02 16:20
  He's certainly quite right. It's one thing to be weak, but it's another to be proud of it, and it makes my blood boil seeing people act up over it.
  
  I wouldn't say every person who uses this quote is the kind of person he laments about, but it works as a signifier for the respective culture I suppose.
  

  Quote from SlurpTASTY;1193841:

  I'm not gonna lie, I didn't read it, but I always thought the "if you can't handle me at my worst..." quote was a big bowl of SALAMI. Seriously who even says that shit and feels justified in saying it? It's dumb, fuck you Marilyn Monroe.

  
  Funny factoid:
  Originally salami is the plural form in Italian, while salame is the actual singular form.
  

  Quote from Hanna;1193833:

  This is probably the most pessimistic bullshit I've read all week
  Ever notice these are the types of guys who write bullshit like this and then bitch about women not loving "nice guys" like him
  
  Cry me a fucking river

  
  I've yet to notice that.
• 800mans wrote on 2014-02-02 20:36
  I kind of disagree with people who say, if you can't accept me at my worst....
  
  A relationship is between two parties. Both parties should compromise with each other and accept each other. It doesn't go one way. One party doesn't have to *accept someone at its worst* always. He/she should try to accept them. But the other party whose at his/her worst should also recognize that their worst behaviour isn't very healthy for the relationship and try to change parts of it.
  
  Its not so black and white either. If you can't accept someone *at their worst* doesn't mean the relationship is over. I doubt there's any perfect relationship where each party loves every part of each other without any doubt.
  
  A relationship is not about yourself but *us* (how cheesy that may sound) and thus this quotation just sounds utterly selfish in context of *us*.
• Cynic wrote on 2014-02-02 22:40
  "if you can't accept me at my worst, yada yada" isn't meant to say "i'm a pathetic asshole with tons and tons of bad qualities but you should love me anyway or fuck you". It's supposed to be about accepting someone when they hit a low point in their life; if their life is always low due to they themselves being low, then no, it doesn't really count. 'Cause then they're not going through a rough patch; they're just a dickwad 24/7.
  
  If you ask me, it's also about how couples tend to see each other through rose-colored glasses. You end up idealizing them instead of actually paying attention to how they are, not how you want or expect them to be. It gets even worse when you think you know someone, but really only know a certain portion of them. Most people tend to get pissy when their partner isn't the 'perfect person' that they pictured them as.
  
  I'm not talkin' about people that seem decent but are shitty in reality, though. Just those that are decent folks that have had a rough patch now and again.
• Space Pirate Nithiel wrote on 2014-02-02 23:36
  Actually, it is meant to say that. This is the full quote.
  
  “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
  
  Nothing even hinting about it being about accepting people at their low point. It's literally her saying "I have these bad personality traits, enjoy them or GTFO."
• TLCBonaparte wrote on 2014-02-03 14:28
  Well from what I learned in class, conflict is healthy, and can be turned into positive things if you know how. He's right about one thing, if something is wrong, then fix it, although not in a way he thinks, when something is wrong it takes more than that person to fix it, changes in relationship dynamics or mostly changes on his part is required to make the change work.
• Hanna wrote on 2014-02-04 03:22

  Quote from Space Pirate Nithiel;1194042:

  Actually, it is meant to say that. This is the full quote.
  
  “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
  
  Nothing even hinting about it being about accepting people at their low point. It's literally her saying "I have these bad personality traits, enjoy them or GTFO."

  
  
  I've never met someone who is genuinely selfless, usually there is something they benefit from, whether it be to make themselves feel better or get a pat on the back along with an "atta boy"
  
  Impatience is normal, it runs on a spectrum?
  
  Everyone makes mistakes
  
  "Out of control" and " hard to handle" is so fucking vague and could mean anything
  
  
  Humans are fucking flawed and if you're going to sit there and tell people they're not allowed to be then you can sit there waiting for your perfect partner with one hand on your mouse and the other on your dick
  
  
  (I swear some of you will probably die alone lol)
• Aubog007 wrote on 2014-02-04 03:56
  Broad assumptions this thread makes about people.
• JinNJuice wrote on 2014-02-05 07:41
  People can only make broad assumptions because this kind perspective is very subjective. People have different preferences, experiences, personalities, etc. Sure, people jump out and exclaim someone or something to be wrong as if it's the cold hard truth of fact, but is it really? Again, this depends on perspective. Who is to truly say who is right or wrong? Who is to say what is good or bad? Why even bother answering to such things perceived as wrong or bad?
  
  Now, that isn't to say that there aren't a single wrong or bad thing out there, or at least something widely viewed in such a manner. At the end of the day, people can only really consider, debate, determine, etc etc blah blah yadda yadda, all of that. Right? Maybe. Maybe not. Perspectives, perspectives.
• Aubog007 wrote on 2014-02-05 09:22

  Quote from JinNJuice;1194904:

  People can only make broad assumptions because this kind perspective is very subjective. People have different preferences, experiences, personalities, etc. Sure, people jump out and exclaim someone or something to be wrong as if it's the cold hard truth of fact, but is it really? Again, this depends on perspective. Who is to truly say who is right or wrong? Who is to say what is good or bad? Why even bother answering to such things perceived as wrong or bad?
  
  Now, that isn't to say that there aren't a single wrong or bad thing out there, or at least something widely viewed in such a manner. At the end of the day, people can only really consider, debate, determine, etc etc blah blah yadda yadda, all of that. Right? Maybe. Maybe not. Perspectives, perspectives.

  
  For religious people, god is the only one who can judge.
  Frankly i don't care who is right or wrong, i care if you tell other people if they are wrong or right.
  Perspective is an incredible thing to have.
• Hanna wrote on 2014-02-05 17:10

  Quote from Aubog007;1194931:

  For religious people, god is the only one who can judge.
  Frankly i don't care who is right or wrong, i care if you tell other people if they are wrong or right.
  Perspective is an incredible thing to have.

  
  
  Enlighten me on the path of indifference