Okay this is going too far.

• Kyouria wrote on 2011-08-10 08:45

  Quote from Skye;546344:

  Talk to him about it.
  Mention how you're the one who paid for it, so it's yours, He may pay the bills, but he didn't pay for your computer.

  
  Other than the electricity bill in the house, of course. Without that, the OP's computer wouldn't work in the first place unless it's a laptop he charges up at another location to use at home.
  
  Talk to your dad about it. Say those things are important to you, and that you'd appreciate it if he respected your belongings and hobbies (playing games, etc). If not, just password lock it and refuse to give him the password. Don't say it in a complain/frustrated voice but in a calm, collected tone of voice. C:
• Kyreffer wrote on 2011-08-10 16:11

  Quote from Zid;546512:

  If he doesn't know a thing about computer hardware, simply just take out your HDD that your OS runs on, then when he tries to turn it on and can't do anything, say you found out he accidentally infected your computer with a severe rootkit that you will have to fix and buy and that it's more expensive and time-consuming to do so than his two other computers.

  
  
  Yeah he knows a thing about computer hardware (he's a computer database manager for Harrison central school district) This plan spells disaster for me. There is no way he's fall for this. He is just going to blame it on "Maplestory" if I try to tell him that he infected my computer.
  
  His computer doesn't have any unwanted start-up programs and his desktop is very neat. Its just that its maybe ten years old and is meant for email checking and document writing.
  
  The confrontation will probably happen tonight because I just password locked my computer and we're going to have to talk about it. Oh and I'm not talking about my Mabinogi fantasy life because, well, just no.
• Zid wrote on 2011-08-10 23:05

  Quote from Kyreffer;546981:

  Yeah he knows a thing about computer hardware (he's a computer database manager for Harrison central school district) This plan spells disaster for me. There is no way he's fall for this. He is just going to blame it on "Maplestory" if I try to tell him that he infected my computer.
  
  His computer doesn't have any unwanted start-up programs and his desktop is very neat. Its just that its maybe ten years old and is meant for email checking and document writing.
  
  The confrontation will probably happen tonight because I just password locked my computer and we're going to have to talk about it. Oh and I'm not talking about my Mabinogi fantasy life because, well, just no.

  
  
  If he is fluent in computer technology, then I would question his previous actions that you stated, including his value of what you're doing and your time.
  
  For a person like him with that kind of career to own two laptops (that he thinks aren't that great), to do that to you...
• animeshadows wrote on 2011-08-10 23:09

  Quote from Kyreffer;546309:

  Well just recently my dad has taken a liking to my new computer (which I built and paid for) and has started to use it over his perfectly functional one. (well 2 actually) It started out with "oh let me check my email quickly". Then it progressed to "let me just scan some documents" (even though he can just send them to his laptop). Then it progressed to just using it to check his email in the morning without asking me. Then it progressed to "you're not doing anything important let me use your computer." Then he proceeds to use it for the rest of the night.
  
  I mean its a combination of an invasion of my personal space, not asking my permission, closing downloads half-way through such as iTunes updates, closing Maibnogi while I have my personal shop open, taking the computer when I'm talking to my friends, etc.
  
  What do I do? I don't know how to confront him because then he'll just say "you're just playing Maplestory, I actually pay the bills yadda yadda". (he thinks that every game I play is maplestory for some reason.)
  
  :pissedoff:

  
  
  Charge him rent or set a password. My parents only use internet explorer, and I made a fake internet explorer shortcut that triggers a switch user/logoff command of my computer. (So its required to enter my extreme password to access the system again.) :x If you want instruction on how to do this, lemme know.
  
  Simple tricks go long ways, even with database managers.
• Yoorah wrote on 2011-08-11 02:06

  Quote from Zid;546646:

  His father's "insensitive but totally harmless behaviour" doesn't seem so to me, especially since like TA said, that's how he's treating his son right now. How you treat someone else (regardless of family ties or not) constitute a major part of that person's character as well. So yes, I do see what his father does on a lower level than what you see.
  
  Your point about being raised on trust and integrity is fine in necessary child morality growth, but I'm not going to assume about the OP's depth of maturity to tell him what's right or wrong, nor let morals be a part of a suggestion when he didn't ask for "the moral thing to do" in the first place.
  
  No, my relationships with most of my family are not well, and I will admit deception is part of that. But I will not admit it's an error of my thinking especially after the squabbles of morality I've seen, and I would rather not have such familial ties (and this is before any deception was going on).
  
  Am I saying lying's okay? No. Am I saying it's not? Limited answer.

  
  
  It doesn't seem so to you because you can't judge it objectively due to your related bad experiences. The fact of the matter is that when you look at the bigger picture, you're basically weighing things like annoyance and inconvenience vs personal integrity and trust in your family. These things are incomparable. What TA said are good talking points as suggestions for the OP's future discussion with his dad, but they don't hold much water as moral arguments on their own.
  
  And there's no need to assume--when in doubt, never steer someone down the morally questionable path. Besides, the OP clearly wanted a diplomatic solution here.
  
  Sorry to hear about your case, though. I hope you can resolve it constructively some day.
  
  OP: Good luck with the talk. :P
• Random wrote on 2011-08-11 03:14
  You try asking him how he would feel about you making his computers faster?
• Kyreffer wrote on 2011-08-11 05:20
  Ok so several things just happened. We were watching Pawn Stars (currently one of my favorite shows its on netflix) and he goes into the office to scan some documents to my computer. I guess my first mistake was leaving it on but that's my first problem because I was just idling with a party ad up in mabinogi. He's also a town board member running for re-election so he likes to keeps his records digitized. I say simply "Are you on my computer? I would appreciate it if you asked me for permission first." He just chuckles and says "I don't see whats wrong with what I'm doing." He says he can't send it to his laptop but it is indeed compatible with out hp printer. I prove him wrong. Then he mentions that I put a password on the computer. He must've ran into it when I was swimming at my lake. Then I say its my computer blah blah blah." I think we came so some sort of consensus. I'm going to make sure its off when I walk away from it, the password should make him think twice about turning it on and he can still scan all the documents he wants. (to his laptop now that he has the knowledge that he can do so)
  
  I just want to say that my dad is a great man. A cult following of town citizens admire him. He pretty much has a 16 hour work day which leaves enough time for dinner and sleeping. No make that a 18 hour work day. I can't go to one public town event where someone doesn't tell me how amazing he is and I agree. Somehow I think that people here are seeing him as more of an irrational kind of guy (or something along those lines). He's the complete opposite. Though he is a bit stubborn when it comes to these things.
  
  Edit: You know I could've came up with a thousand ways to *sabotage* his computer usage with my mind and expertise on computers. That would've just made the confrontation more awkward and or not truly solved the problem.
• Skye wrote on 2011-08-11 05:27

  Quote from Kyreffer;547762:

  I just want to say that my dad is a great man. A cult following of town citizens admire him. He pretty much has a 16 hour work day which leaves enough time for dinner and sleeping. No make that a 18 hour work day. I can't go to one public town event where someone doesn't tell me how amazing he is and I agree. Somehow I think that people here are seeing him as more of an irrational kind of guy (or something along those lines). He's the complete opposite. Though he is a bit stubborn when it comes to these things.

  
  
  Unfortunately, that's how almost everyone here sees parents, no matter what.
  It's actually an internet problem.
  
  But I'm glad you managed to work something out~
• Kyreffer wrote on 2011-08-11 05:30
  Yeah its a start, he's still using my computer. I'm on his laptop.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  :gloom3: We have a long way to go.
• Zid wrote on 2011-08-11 07:08

  Quote from Yoorah;547497:

  And there's no need to assume--when in doubt, never steer someone down the morally questionable path. Besides, the OP clearly wanted a diplomatic solution here.

  
  
  Then he should have made clear to ask for a diplomatic, respectable solution in his original post, rather than ask for one and also explain his father later on after people already suggested to him, like below.
  
  

  Quote from Kyreffer;547762:

  I just want to say that my dad is a great man. A cult following of town citizens admire him. He pretty much has a 16 hour work day which leaves enough time for dinner and sleeping. No make that a 18 hour work day. I can't go to one public town event where someone doesn't tell me how amazing he is and I agree. Somehow I think that people here are seeing him as more of an irrational kind of guy (or something along those lines). He's the complete opposite. Though he is a bit stubborn when it comes to these things.

  
  
  It's best if you said of this earlier to let people know, rather than saying it later after people already gave their suggestions and then assume about the suggesting people with your statement.
• Sunureu13 wrote on 2011-08-11 07:36
  (I didn't read past the first page) If talking to him about it doesn't work, then:
  
  You live in *his* house right? Deal with it or move out. Your only two options. Apple updates can be restarted, video games aren't important unless you're making a living (i.e. comparable, monetarily, to a yearly salary of an average person), etc.
  
  As an example, my car (2008 Mistubishi Lancer Evolution X MR, a sport sedan, msrp $40k at the time, bought for myself) was fair game to my parents whenever they wanted to use it, even if other cars were at home (and my mom owns a 2000 Corvette), and I dealt with it, even if I wanted to do something I thought was important, like a date. You know why? Because I live in their house.
  
  Also, you can try compromising with him. Have him have his own account on your computer, and have it limited so he can't get you a virus or something. Or you can help him build an up-to-date, but reasonably cheap, computer for himself.
• Skye wrote on 2011-08-11 07:39

  Quote from Sunureu13;547938:

  (I didn't read past the first page) If talking to him about it doesn't work, then:
  
  You live in *his* house right? Deal with it or move it. Your only two options. Apple updates can be restarted, video games aren't important unless you're making a living (i.e. comparable, monetarily, to a yearly salary of an average person), etc.
  
  As an example, my car (2008 Mistubishi Lancer Evolution X MR, a sport sedan, msrp $40k at the time, bought for myself) was fair game to my parents whenever they wanted to use it, even if other cars were at home (and my mom owns a 2000 Corvette), and I dealt with it, even if I wanted to do something I thought was important, like a date. You know why? Because I live in their house.

  
  
  Yeah, but sheesh, kids deserve some equality.
• Yoorah wrote on 2011-08-11 08:03

  Quote from Zid;547896:

  Then he should have made clear to ask for a diplomatic, respectable solution in his original post, rather than ask for one and also explain his father later on after people already suggested to him, like below.

  
  
  As I said.. you should default to being "respectable," unless circumstances are truly extraordinary. In this case, it was merely about a computer and games. I had no trouble seeing from his post that this wasn't a case where dirty tricks would be appropriate.. and I find it sad that others weren't able to see this as well. But oh well, it's all in the past. I hope you can be less cynical and be more open minded in the future, though.. the world would be a better place. D:
  
  

  Quote from Skye;547943:

  Yeah, but sheesh, kids deserve some equality.

  
  
  Kids get plenty already. It's just hard to notice what you have, sometimes. And I think equality is not the best term to use here. :P
• Cynic wrote on 2011-08-11 08:06
  Doesn't matter if it's his house; it's the kid's computer.
  Now if it was the Father's computer, sure. But he has TWO of his own.
  
  The Dad needs to stop being a mooch. Also;
  contributing sperm to a chick and giving birth then housing the kid doesn't mean you're god and therefore can do whatever you want so long as it's in your house.
• Sunureu13 wrote on 2011-08-11 08:26
  Oh but it does mean that. Do you know how much it costs to raise the average child? A quick google search shows upwards of $150,000 for an 18 year old, and can be as expensive as $200,000 up to 21 years old.
  
  Those figures compared to.. Lets say, a $1000 gaming laptop. Should he really be complaining about his dad kicking him off his computer every once in a while? I don't think so. If you ask me, he should be cracking open a cold one for his dad and making him dinner while he's at it.