Sexuality: Choice or Natural?

• Episkey wrote on 2012-01-29 03:02

  Quote from Cucurbita;752809:

  Perhaps you're just uncomfortable with the word denial since its been used so negatively in our culture.
  
  If your friend is straight, then one day realize he's gay, then one day decide he's straight again, then he most certainly just fit the definition of what it means to be bisexual.
  
  We're not so advanced that we can switch our sexuality whenever we feel like a shift stick. Confusion of your own sexuality and denial of bisexuality is similar enough for categorization to me.
  
  Though I don't know such a person and as you said, exceptions exist. But in a general case if you switch your sexuality more than once you've fit the definition of bisexuality and theres no real escaping that fact. Perhaps if we analyze the person more we could come with a much more accurate definition for that person's sexuality, but in bisexuality more or less covers the wide field of categories and this example man falls into it.
  
  Its like how an orange will categorized a fruit, even though we could be more specific and call it a citric fruit.

  
  
  Ah. I see makes sense. The issue being that my friend doesn't consider herself to be a bisexual, not before and not now. It's not just some facade either, because ... well you would have to be with this person to know for yourself. Alas, I think this kinda would fall under the whole situational aspect.
  I should have mentioned my friend is a female, sorry about that.
  
  It wasn't something that happened overnight, it occurred over a 4 year time-frame. I know sexuality isn't something changed easily, but I still believe it can be done.
• Chiyuri wrote on 2012-01-29 03:03

  Quote from Pierce;752747:

  None. I don't think you're born with any kind of sexuality, as a pre programmed pc. You develop it as you grow, could be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual... etc.

  
  
  In reality, sexuality is much more complex than just hetero, homo, bi and other names.. Most people will just group their sexuality with one of those words.
  Even if two guys are heterosexual, their taste in woman can differ from one to another in multiple category to even small details. The main categories would be Physical attraction and Emotional attraction. For Heterosexual guys, the physical attraction will more than often be the main reason. For Heterosexual girls, emotional attraction seem more important(but for it's closer to been 49/51). Anyway, the Balance in between those 2 categories differ from one person to another.
  To some degree, the body comes pre-wired/pre-programmed to force a Physical attraction to the other sex while the development of Emotional attraction is more within the unknown realm of "preference" which can't be so easily explained as either choice or natural.. All that matter is how well physical and emotionnal attraction will balance out in the end.
  
  I'm not an expert in the domain but I'll write my theory here, by no means is that theory ment to be taken as a "fact" but more as a "possibility". Keep your mind open on it, that's all.
  1) I think that if Emotional attraction is stronger than physical attraction, it will tend to affect the physical attraction of the person. While if the physical attraction is stronger, it will tend to affect the emotional attraction of the person. With time, those attractions will become more stabilized and will stop pulling one or the other. By the I mean that when you are young, if your physical attraction is the strongest, it will pull emotional attraction with it. With age, they will stabilize and even if the power reverse, like emotional get stronger stand physical, the emotional attraction will already be dyed in the colors of the physical attraction and will not change..
  
  2) During puberty, people have more dose of hormones and are still growing so I'm pretty sure to some degree it "power up" physical attraction in the person. Like I said physical attraction is mostly pre-wired to be heterosexual. so when it get powered up by the hormones, I'ma take a guess that it's more powerful than emotional attraction. For a long time, Since that physical attraction is the stronger one of both, it will dye emotional attraction with it's color (heterosexuality). That would explain why the majority of people end up with that sexuality in the end.
  
  3) Now some people might be wondering "what about people who developed a stronger emotional attraction than physical attraction". Like I said emotional attraction will be more in the domain of "preferences" so it can take any kind of paths really.. Emotional attraction toward female-like people, male-like people, both, anything in-between. For example, a guy could be more emotionally attracted to female-like personality and that attraction will dye physical attraction with the notion of "females". A guy could also have a emotional attraction toward guy-like personality and since that emotional attraction is stronger than the pre-wired physical attraction, it will dye the physical attraction with the notion of "males". A girl could have a emotional attraction to girls but it's in power struggle with physical attraction(which is pre-wired to pull toward guys). In the power struggle, both attraction dye each others so the girl could become bisexual.
  
  Anyway, that's how I see it and think it works..
• Milk wrote on 2012-01-29 04:42
  In my honest opinion, I believe that thouse who think its a choice have either felt aroused by both genders at one point or are bisexual.
  In my whole life I have only felt attracted by females & nothing else.
  And the thought of myself ever being with a male makes me gag and makes my skin crawl. Im not homophic its just not me. So I assume that gay people are gay because other people of the same gender makes them feel the same way.
• Pierce wrote on 2012-01-29 13:47

  Quote from Chiyuri;752834:

  In reality, sexuality is much more complex than just hetero, homo, bi and other names.. Most people will just group their sexuality with one of those words.
  Even if two guys are heterosexual, their taste in woman can differ from one to another in multiple category to even small details. The main categories would be Physical attraction and Emotional attraction. For Heterosexual guys, the physical attraction will more than often be the main reason. For Heterosexual girls, emotional attraction seem more important(but for it's closer to been 49/51). Anyway, the Balance in between those 2 categories differ from one person to another.
  To some degree, the body comes pre-wired/pre-programmed to force a Physical attraction to the other sex while the development of Emotional attraction is more within the unknown realm of "preference" which can't be so easily explained as either choice or natural.. All that matter is how well physical and emotionnal attraction will balance out in the end.
  
  I'm not an expert in the domain but I'll write my theory here, by no means is that theory ment to be taken as a "fact" but more as a "possibility". Keep your mind open on it, that's all.
  1) I think that if Emotional attraction is stronger than physical attraction, it will tend to affect the physical attraction of the person. While if the physical attraction is stronger, it will tend to affect the emotional attraction of the person. With time, those attractions will become more stabilized and will stop pulling one or the other. By the I mean that when you are young, if your physical attraction is the strongest, it will pull emotional attraction with it. With age, they will stabilize and even if the power reverse, like emotional get stronger stand physical, the emotional attraction will already be dyed in the colors of the physical attraction and will not change..
  
  2) During puberty, people have more dose of hormones and are still growing so I'm pretty sure to some degree it "power up" physical attraction in the person. Like I said physical attraction is mostly pre-wired to be heterosexual. so when it get powered up by the hormones, I'ma take a guess that it's more powerful than emotional attraction. For a long time, Since that physical attraction is the stronger one of both, it will dye emotional attraction with it's color (heterosexuality). That would explain why the majority of people end up with that sexuality in the end.
  
  3) Now some people might be wondering "what about people who developed a stronger emotional attraction than physical attraction". Like I said emotional attraction will be more in the domain of "preferences" so it can take any kind of paths really.. Emotional attraction toward female-like people, male-like people, both, anything in-between. For example, a guy could be more emotionally attracted to female-like personality and that attraction will dye physical attraction with the notion of "females". A guy could also have a emotional attraction toward guy-like personality and since that emotional attraction is stronger than the pre-wired physical attraction, it will dye the physical attraction with the notion of "males". A girl could have a emotional attraction to girls but it's in power struggle with physical attraction(which is pre-wired to pull toward guys). In the power struggle, both attraction dye each others so the girl could become bisexual.
  
  Anyway, that's how I see it and think it works..

  
  
  Pardon my broad generalization about types of sexuality, but feel you got what I meant. I think your theory is brilliant, and that's what I always thought but couldn't completely distinguish between a physical attraction and a emotional attraction. So yes, that explains why most people are straight (to some degree). Once, my Macroeconomics teacher, who is an anthropologist, explained to the class that sexuality is normally distributed (statistics) and that the opposite ends were homo or straight, but those were "rare occurrences" since most people develop degrees of both.
  
  

  [Image: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8c/Standard_deviation_diagram.svg/325px-Standard_deviation_diagram.svg.png]

  
  
  Yet, according to your theory, you could develop emotional desire for anything. So I think it's more like a one time trauma, in which the kid is exposed to something by someone, or to someone, etc. and then he becomes emotionally attached. I'm talking about something more profound than just rubbing. I believe you "fall in love" with that person or thing and then you try to find the same attributes in other people or things, and thus physical attraction is dyed. So, now I wonder if you could experience that "wiring" once more, like "acquiring" a new taste in women. Is that possible? May you fall in love with a woman if you're gay? Then, could you become bisexual? I think it's like a one time thing, but then, again, you can develop degrees of another attraction. The class was shocked, it was like he was telling a lie, they were like "so, we're not completely straight? Are you serious?" So he asked, "have you ever thought about an orgy when you masturbate? a threesome? How straight is that?"
  
  I know a friend who is gay, and he likes men really much, but he feels attracted to strong women, not masculine, but mature, who acts like a guy? Remember Juno? Like her. And I wonder if he could develop sexual attraction once he "falls in love".
  
  So, someone who is more emotionally attracted, and understands that, could easily be a pansexual, right? But, now I notice and I tell you this as an idea I'm getting as I'm writing this... doesn't emotional attraction need physical attraction to exist? You can't be emotionally attracted without being physically attracted at some point. So it's like sexuality finds its master... physical attraction, finds its master after emotional fixation. Then, is pansexuality a possibility in this theory?
• Chiyuri wrote on 2012-01-29 21:22

  Quote from Pierce;753821:

  Pardon my broad generalization about types of sexuality, but feel you got what I meant. I think your theory is brilliant, and that's what I always thought but couldn't completely distinguish between a physical attraction and a emotional attraction. So yes, that explains why most people are straight (to some degree). Once, my Macroeconomics teacher, who is an anthropologist, explained to the class that sexuality is normally distributed (statistics) and that the opposite ends were homo or straight, but those were "rare occurrences" since most people develop degrees of both.
  
  

  [Image: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8c/Standard_deviation_diagram.svg/325px-Standard_deviation_diagram.svg.png]

  
  
  Yet, according to your theory, you could develop emotional desire for anything. So I think it's more like a one time trauma, in which the kid is exposed to something by someone, or to someone, etc. and then he becomes emotionally attached. I'm talking about something more profound than just rubbing. I believe you "fall in love" with that person or thing and then you try to find the same attributes in other people or things, and thus physical attraction is dyed. So, now I wonder if you could experience that "wiring" once more, like "acquiring" a new taste in women. Is that possible? May you fall in love with a woman if you're gay? Then, could you become bisexual? I think it's like a one time thing, but then, again, you can develop degrees of another attraction. The class was shocked, it was like he was telling a lie, they were like "so, we're not completely straight? Are you serious?" So he asked, "have you ever thought about an orgy when you masturbate? a threesome? How straight is that?"
  
  I know a friend who is gay, and he likes men really much, but he feels attracted to strong women, not masculine, but mature, who acts like a guy? Remember Juno? Like her. And I wonder if he could develop sexual attraction once he "falls in love".
  
  So, someone who is more emotionally attracted, and understands that, could easily be a pansexual, right? But, now I notice and I tell you this as an idea I'm getting as I'm writing this... doesn't emotional attraction need physical attraction to exist? You can't be emotionally attracted without being physically attracted at some point. So it's like sexuality finds its master... physical attraction, finds its master after emotional fixation. Then, is pansexuality a possibility in this theory?

  
  
  The best example of my theory is to image paint. You got a certain dose of white paint and a certain dose of black paint. Let's say the White paint is the strongest, meaning it's a large dose of it. Sexuality is a mix of both so image both paint been mixed. Since there is a lot of white and not much black, the black get dyed into the white to the point it's almost gone.. Purberty might be able to add more black paint but there is a limit to how much you can add. And the longuer you wait, the more dried up the paint become. Even if you try to mix colored paint into a dry paint, the dry paint will not change it's color.
  Time make sexuality permanent.
  
  Anyway about your last question
  

  doesn't emotional attraction need physical attraction to exist? You can't be emotionally attracted without being physically attracted at some point. So it's like sexuality finds its master... physical attraction, finds its master after emotional fixation. Then, is pansexuality a possibility in this theory?

  
  Physical attraction can exist without emotional attraction and vs versa. "emotional attraction" is a concept only valid for humans as animals only have "physical attraction".
  Sadly humans are still very close to been animals so it's impossible to some degree that an human doesn't have Physical attraction. In most people, physical attraction won the power struggle so it's of course the big boss of everything. Because of that, most people will think that you can't be emotionally attracted without been physically attracted first. For them it might be truth. But for people who their emotional attraction won the power struggle, it isn't necessarily truth. Still in the end, even if emotional attraction or physical attraction won, the other still exist somewhere in them so even if physical attraction is very importent for a person, they need to some degree an emotional attachment(Unless their physical attraction is at a VERY high level..). The same apply to emotional attraction people. To some degree they might require a degree of physical attraction as well(Unless their emotionnal attraction is VERY high level..).
  Pansexuallity would be those people who their emotional attraction is very high to the point physical attraction can be ignored by the individual. That is still a rare case through.
• Pierce wrote on 2012-01-30 00:16

  Quote from Chiyuri;754021:

  The best example of my theory is to image paint. You got a certain dose of white paint and a certain dose of black paint. Let's say the White paint is the strongest, meaning it's a large dose of it. Sexuality is a mix of both so image both paint been mixed. Since there is a lot of white and not much black, the black get dyed into the white to the point it's almost gone.. Purberty might be able to add more black paint but there is a limit to how much you can add. And the longuer you wait, the more dried up the paint become. Even if you try to mix colored paint into a dry paint, the dry paint will not change it's color.
  Time make sexuality permanent.
  
  Anyway about your last question
  
  Physical attraction can exist without emotional attraction and vs versa. "emotional attraction" is a concept only valid for humans as animals only have "physical attraction".
  Sadly humans are still very close to been animals so it's impossible to some degree that an human doesn't have Physical attraction. In most people, physical attraction won the power struggle so it's of course the big boss of everything. Because of that, most people will think that you can't be emotionally attracted without been physically attracted first. For them it might be truth. But for people who their emotional attraction won the power struggle, it isn't necessarily truth. Still in the end, even if emotional attraction or physical attraction won, the other still exist somewhere in them so even if physical attraction is very importent for a person, they need to some degree an emotional attachment(Unless their physical attraction is at a VERY high level..). The same apply to emotional attraction people. To some degree they might require a degree of physical attraction as well(Unless their emotionnal attraction is VERY high level..).
  Pansexuallity would be those people who their emotional attraction is very high to the point physical attraction can be ignored by the individual. That is still a rare case through.

  
  
  Well thank you, this discussion was very educative for me. Now I have more insight.