Growing up

• Ashikoki wrote on 2013-04-01 22:19

  Quote from TLCBonaparte;1060764:

  I am saying women have the choice NOT have a job. If you are a man and you stay home and make your wife work and feed you, you are generally look down upon by people.

  
  
  This is a pretty eastern view of things.
  
  

  Quote from Natural Harmonia Gropius;1060772:

  Pretty sure anyone on the poverty line would disagree.

  
  
  Doesn't have to be on the poverty line. The middle class cannot be achieved without a high paying job if both the man and the woman does not work. If only one of the two decide to work, they will have to pick up extra hours for sure. This is considering neither members have a job that requires a college degree but is settled in a secure full time job that pays approximately 10~20 dollars an hour. Just isn't enough to feed a family with one person.
  
  If you're getting some nice 50k+ salary job then by all means let your wife do whatever she want. But don't hold the perception that it would be shameful for a husband to need his wife to work to make ends meet. Most of America functions that way.
• Drizzit wrote on 2013-04-01 22:20

  Quote from Phunkie;1060681:

  You make it sound so negative. It's not.

  
  
  I kinda is. You think you have more freedom? bah, that's an illusion. You're a slave to your job. You have to work to pay your bills. Your a slave to your government. You have to obey their laws, and pay your taxes. You're a slave to all the shit you own and have to pay for and maintain. You work your ass off for years, so you can retire, then your social security falls through, so you have to work till you die. Most of us will be lucky if we even achieve financial stability, much less ever become "successful" . Being an adult sucks. :pain:
• TLCBonaparte wrote on 2013-04-01 22:27

  Quote from Natural Harmonia Gropius;1060772:

  Pretty sure anyone on the poverty line would disagree. Would take both the man and the woman working to make ends meet. Possibly even a child or two. Single women also need a job to be able to pay utility bills and buy groceries, unless they want to live in a cardboard box and starve.

  
  
  That doesn't exclude my claim. In your case men also has to work along with women. You didn't really present a case where only women work.
  
  @Ashikoki
  
  I was raise in China so yeah. For me, having my spouse working to feed the family while I don't provide is pretty bad. I can say to people I am staying home to raise kids and all that but at end of the day, I feel like having my wife taking the responsibility I should've taken.
• Natural Harmonia Gropius wrote on 2013-04-01 22:38

  Quote from TLCBonaparte;1060785:

  That doesn't exclude my claim. In your case men also has to work along with women. You didn't really present a case where only women work.
  
  @Ashikoki
  
  I was raise in China so yeah. For me, having my spouse working to feed the family while I don't provide is pretty bad. I can say to people I am staying home to raise kids and all that but at end of the day, I feel like having my wife taking the responsibility I should've taken.

  
  
  Alright then. Say the man has some sort of accident, and he can no longer work. The woman will have to work unless they want to lose their home and go without food. Or perhaps the man is just having terrible luck with finding a job, she needs to work while he finds one. Whether she quits after he finds one or not is up to her. Extra income is always nice. Not only can you pay bills, you can afford luxuries with that second paycheck (provided both of your paychecks aren't 100% necessary to make ends meet).
• Sumpfkraut wrote on 2013-04-01 22:40

  Quote from TLCBonaparte;1060785:

  That doesn't exclude my claim. In your case men also has to work along with women. You didn't really present a case where only women work.

  
  There's never a case where only one works because you work at home too. Maybe not 8 hours a day, but only if you don't have children.
  
  And yes, it's real work and lot of work. Cleaning a bath, kitchen, 2-5 rooms, maybe a staircase, doors, windows, refrigerators and freezers, planning and doing the grocery shopping, preparing food, ironing clothes and there's probably more that I forgot: that takes a while and can be very taxing under some circumstances.
  
  And you don't get paid for it.
• TLCBonaparte wrote on 2013-04-01 22:42

  Quote from Natural Harmonia Gropius;1060792:

  Alright then. Say the man has some sort of accident, and he can no longer work. The woman will have to work unless they want to lose their home and go without food. Or perhaps the man is just having terrible luck with finding a job, she needs to work while he finds one. Whether she quits after he finds one or not is up to her. Extra income is always nice. Not only can you pay bills, you can afford luxuries with that second paycheck (provided both of your paychecks aren't 100% necessary to make ends meet).

  
  
  It's really nothing to fight about... Your initial point is about whether I have some hidden anti-feminist agenda and I think I've made it clear I don't. So what's left to discuss? Back to discussion about how much growing up sucks.
• Natural Harmonia Gropius wrote on 2013-04-01 22:44

  Quote from Sumpfkraut;1060795:

  There's never a case where only one works because you work at home too. Maybe not 8 hours a day, but only if you don't have children.
  
  And yes, it's real work and lot of work. Cleaning a bath, kitchen, 2-5 rooms, maybe a staircase, doors, windows, refrigerators and freezers, planning and doing the grocery shopping, preparing food, ironing clothes and there's probably more that I forgot: that takes a while and can be very taxing under some circumstances.
  
  And you don't get paid for it.

  
  
  And if you are single you get to do all that AND work a job. Anyone want to be my roommate when I can afford to move out?
  
  

  Quote from TLCBonaparte;1060797:

  It's really nothing to fight about... Your initial point is about whether I have some hidden anti-feminist agenda and I think I've made it clear I don't. So what's left to discuss? Back to discussion about how much growing up sucks.

  
  
  Who is fighting?
• TLCBonaparte wrote on 2013-04-01 22:45

  Quote from Sumpfkraut;1060795:

  There's never a case where only one works because you work at home too. Maybe not 8 hours a day, but only if you don't have children.
  
  And yes, it's real work and lot of work. Cleaning a bath, kitchen, 2-5 rooms, maybe a staircase, doors, windows, refrigerators and freezers, planning and doing the grocery shopping, preparing food, ironing clothes and there's probably more that I forgot: that takes a while and can be very taxing under some circumstances.
  
  And you don't get paid for it.

  
  
  That's weasel word argument. When I say work , I clearly meant paying jobs. While I do appreciate the hard work goes into house work, it just doesn't apply to what I was saying.
• Sumpfkraut wrote on 2013-04-01 23:49

  Quote from TLCBonaparte;1060801:

  That's weasel word argument. When I say work , I clearly meant paying jobs. While I do appreciate the hard work goes into house work, it just doesn't apply to what I was saying.

  
  I wasn't entirely sure, so I just made sure. Also there are probably people who read this and do think otherwise, and it serves well to remember them.
• Yoorah wrote on 2013-04-02 00:04
  The irony when you see silly, unnecessary confrontation in a thread about growing up!
  :llama_skip:
  
  And taxes suck. I've had to pay almost $700 this month, and this doesn't include government pension contributions or employment insurance deductions, either! The income tax by itself is not far from what rent costs. D8
• Phunkie wrote on 2013-04-02 00:20

  Quote from Ashikoki;1060697:

  I don't want to be rude, but how many of you "adults" are still in college? Or having your parents pay for your cell phone? Health insurance?
  
  If any of these are "yes", you're not exactly there yet.
  
  Besides, I only wanted to juxtapose the overwhelming positivity in the thread. I enjoy adulthood as well. But freedom does come at the price of huge responsibility, something I thought I knew when I was living by myself in college. I sometimes miss the simpler days when I was so unaware and blissfully ignorant.

  
  
  Unaware and blissfully ignorant?
  
  As long as you can budget your money, you're more than fine.
  
  Plus, you're never really truly alone. Shit happens, but for a lot of people, parents are still there to help, even when you're 31 or 42. It's not like you're thrown into the world alone.
  
  This whole "life is really hard" business is too cliche. Life's as hard as you make it.
  
  I live with my folks and I commute to school, but over these past two years, I've really learned how to budget my money and set my priorities. Feels amazing. And yeah, it sucks that I can't buy something I want immediately, but it usually comes along the way week after week. It's all about learning patience for what you want and working for it.
  
  Say I wanted a cheap used car. I've estimated that I could have it by next year, if I wanted. Just by saving up, along with paying for school and transportation and food and etc.
  
  It's a good lesson. And as you grow older and settle down, you have someone else to help you raise a family and pay for rent, etc. Someone to calm you down with the stresses of finances get to your head. You've never alone at this game of life.
  
  I wonder what I'll be like at 30. Probably still crazy and random.
• Ashikoki wrote on 2013-04-02 00:54

  Quote from Phunkie;1060878:

  Unaware and blissfully ignorant?
  
  As long as you can budget your money, you're more than fine.
  
  Plus, you're never really truly alone. Shit happens, but for a lot of people, parents are still there to help, even when you're 31 or 42. It's not like you're thrown into the world alone.
  
  This whole "life is really hard" business is too cliche. Life's as hard as you make it.
  
  I live with my folks and I commute to school, but over these past two years, I've really learned how to budget my money and set my priorities. Feels amazing. And yeah, it sucks that I can't buy something I want immediately, but it usually comes along the way week after week. It's all about learning patience for what you want and working for it.
  
  Say I wanted a cheap used car. I've estimated that I could have it by next year, if I wanted. Just by saving up, along with paying for school and transportation and food and etc.
  
  It's a good lesson. And as you grow older and settle down, you have someone else to help you raise a family and pay for rent, etc. Someone to calm you down with the stresses of finances get to your head. You've never alone at this game of life.
  
  I wonder what I'll be like at 30. Probably still crazy and random.

  
  
  I know you're a very optimistic and jovial person so you'll probably maintain that stance in 5 or 10 years, but I really don't think you understand the full difficulty of complete independence until you actually achieve it.
  
  I thought I knew it well when I lived in an apartment and going to college. But there are hundreds of things that I just didn't know I had to account for back then. Its a whole different world.
  
  Its just a simpler time, where you had less to worry about. Thats what I miss. When your biggest worries were your mom giving you something you don't like for dinner. Even back in college, all I really worried about was getting to class on time and finishing reports.
  
  Again, not saying adult life doesn't have good merits. I like it. I just wanted to juxtapose your overwhelming shine and present the other end of that grown up world. Its stressful, and not everyone have their families nearby, or sometimes they're not social enough to make friends. I think I've seen at least 3 or 4 threads in the past month here from people saying they have difficulty making friends.
  
  My thirteen year old self would probably read this thread and think "wow, Joel said being grown up is so awesome! I can't wait to be an adult!" and I would probably tell my thirteen year old self "nah, take your time and enjoy all that snow. adults don't get snow days"
  
  Edit: I spelled wrong
• Ceui wrote on 2013-04-02 00:55
  My mind will never age. When I turn 70, I'll still be playing video games.
• Ashikoki wrote on 2013-04-02 01:00

  Quote from Ceui;1060899:

  My mind will never age. When I turn 70, I'll still be playing video games.

  
  
  But why do all the teenagers stay teenagers?
• Sepia wrote on 2013-04-02 01:53

  Quote from Phunkie;1060878:

  This whole "life is really hard" business is too cliche. Life's as hard as you make it.

  
  
  I'd say that part is equally cliche, but that's me.
  All the same, it's good that things are going well for you in your life.
  
  

  Quote from Ceui;1060899:

  My mind will never age. When I turn 70, I'll still be playing video games.

  
  
  I intend to be doing the same thing if I live that long. lol