Growing up

• Kouki wrote on 2013-04-02 02:08
  Growing up into the preteen-teenager years was a nightmare for me, but becoming a young adult from a teenager(senior year onward) was like, a huge break from all the stress that teenagers suffer from school years. I'm glad that I'm not required to go anywhere(school) as an adult, as long as I have income to keep me alive.
• Enoshima Smoothie wrote on 2013-04-02 02:16
  Growing up is inevitable.
  You either see it as something awful and feel that way as you grow or you accept it for what it is and carry on.
  
  If you let yourself become blinded by greed and envy your life won't be any better.
  You need to just focus on yourself and the things in your life that are worth living for.
  
  Life "sucks" only if you let it, in all honesty.
• Phunkie wrote on 2013-04-02 04:04

  Quote from Ashikoki;1060898:

  I know you're a very optimistic and jovial person so you'll probably maintain that stance in 5 or 10 years, but I really don't think you understand the full difficulty of complete independence until you actually achieve it.
  
  I thought I knew it well when I lived in an apartment and going to college. But there are hundreds of things that I just didn't know I had to account for back then. Its a whole different world.
  
  Its just a simpler time, where you had less to worry about. Thats what I miss. When your biggest worries were your mom giving you something you don't like for dinner. Even back in college, all I really worried about was getting to class on time and finishing reports.
  
  Again, not saying adult life doesn't have good merits. I like it. I just wanted to juxtapose your overwhelming shine and present the other end of that grown up world. Its stressful, and not everyone have their families nearby, or sometimes they're not social enough to make friends. I think I've seen at least 3 or 4 threads in the past month here from people saying they have difficulty making friends.
  
  My thirteen year old self would probably read this thread and think "wow, Joel said being grown up is so awesome! I can't wait to be an adult!" and I would probably tell my thirteen year old self "nah, take your time and enjoy all that snow. adults don't get snow days"
  
  Edit: I spelled wrong

  
  
  You could say anything can be overwhelming. Life works in phases, steps. You conquer one step me move to the other. Every new step or phase is exceedingly difficult, but not forever. You can't downplay that either.
  
  Who doesn't miss being 12? I know I'll be missing 23 at 33. That's a natural part of life and there's nothing wrong about it. The message I'm communicating is that once you get the hang of it—and you do, when you really want it—it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be alright.
  
  I'm not worrying about moving out of my folks now. I shouldn't be. I'm not ready. I will worry about it when the time comes and I know I'm gonna be okay in the end. After that, I'll worry about different things: buying a car, getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married, being 50. I'm gonna stress and cry a lot, but in the end, I know it's gonna be okay.
  
  :)
  
  It's just hard to communicate that message to all those kids trying to make friends because they're in high school, maybe, and I'm here facing other, different problems that they can't relate to. Even giving advice to people is hard because we're never truly in their shoes. We don't know their pain or their struggles to the exact feeling or detail. But that's okay.
  
  Just don't give up, folks. If you're reading this right now, don't give up. Through any struggle or any difficulty. Be you. It's gonna be hard one day, for a few days or weeks or months, and then it won't be. Repeat. And then rinse. You'll get better in time in facing problems, which will now feel little to you, and take on the bigger, scarier problems. But take it as an affirmation of how much you've grown.
  
  I bet not a lot of people worry about their Mom giving them something they don't want for dinner anymore, yeah?
  
  I love seeing that kind of growth. That maturity.
  
  
  Love you guys.
  
  They used to call me crazy for being so romantic once upon a time. I stuck with it and it brought me amazing results. I'm sticking with the optimism. :)
• Compass wrote on 2013-04-02 04:07

  Quote from TLCBonaparte;1060764:

  I am saying women have the choice NOT have a job. If you are a man and you stay home and make your wife work and feed you, you are generally look down upon by people.

  
  
  You couldn't be more wrong.
  What time period are you from :V ?
• TLCBonaparte wrote on 2013-04-02 04:17

  Quote from Compass;1061106:

  You couldn't be more wrong.
  What time period are you from :V ?

  
  
  Did you just ask "what time period are you from?" Can't take a guy who ask that seriously :P
• BobYoMeowMeow wrote on 2013-04-02 08:27

  Quote from Compass;1061106:

  You couldn't be more wrong.
  What time period are you from :V ?

  
  
  he means he gets looked down upon by his parents.
• Ashikoki wrote on 2013-04-02 16:19

  Quote from Phunkie;1061103:

  They used to call me crazy for being so romantic once upon a time. I stuck with it and it brought me amazing results. I'm sticking with the optimism. :)

  
  
  Your optimism is a great trait. I am not criticizing you over it. I'm just offering the slightly more pessimistic version of that world to everyone who isn't as inherently optimistic. To elaborate on this for a second:
  
  "Why can't you all just be optimistic like me?" and "Life is only as difficult as you make it out to be" are both equally cliche statements because those who suffer ask exactly the same things. "Why can't I be more optimistic like Joel?"
  
  On an extreme example, there are people with depression. Regardless of their forward conscious attempts to be positive, there are always lingering thoughts that are dragging them down. No matter how hard they try to block the thoughts out, they're constantly haunted by pessimism like "you can't do it", "you'll fail anyways", "they're out to get you". Every thought and decision they make is accompanied by these terrifying voices. Being sad is not the same as being depressed. Though not all depression is the same, many are caused by imbalanced chemicals in your neurotransmitters.
  
  Anyways that's just one overexaggerated example. I'm just trying to say that people have varying degrees of inherent ability to remain positive like you. Most people need to exert a large amount of conscious effort to put away those lingering bad thoughts and remain optimistic, many people requiring constant therapy.
  
  Family and friends really do help. Some people aren't so fortunate.
  
  I'm sorry if I offend you by implying that you don't take effort to be optimistic, because that's not what I mean. You're just much better at it than others, so had to put that perception on the table.
  
  

  Quote from Compass;1061106:

  You couldn't be more wrong.
  What time period are you from :V ?

  
  
  He's from a traditionally oriental family, which, in today's time period, is still widely believed and accepted.
  
  We can criticize a culture, but when someone grows up on it, they can't shake it off that easily. Don't expect any immediate changes, and don't think less of the person for it.
  
  Too often I've read complaints in these forums about "us open minded people" dealing with "those closed minded people", but I can't help but see a massive circlejerk that closes off views that do not conform to their own just as much as the parties they criticize.
• Aubog007 wrote on 2013-04-03 10:16
  There are reasons why i don't share my actual deep thoughts and opinions here, most of them constantly change and fluctuate due to the parameters being changed.
  
  Not many people like dealing with that aspect of me, but yet i am forced to go around with a smile on my face even though that the facial expression does not suit me.
  
  I am generally melancholic, and only a few have seen some of that depth while the others get shoved away with shades of arrogances and ignorance.
  
  I have grown up in my own way, been forced into moods to make others "happy" since they refuse to leave their personal bubble. I always have to be the one to throw myself into adaptability, and situations like that have made me "grow" up and also made me into a "child" again.
  
  Hell, my dad is 50, still acts like a child, he deserves it too, he can do whatever the hell he wants, i don't hold it against him at all. He does everything with "success" so he has earned that.
  
  Personally, growing up is overrated, independence however is something that for some people is ridiculously easy to obtain, while for others, nigh impossible.
  
  
  
  
  And if this completely random, sorry. Just one of those "days"