10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman

• Aubog007 wrote on 2014-11-02 05:09

  Quote from Kaon;1252886:

  The fact is, it's not a very respectful way to give a compliment, because it carries a heavy implication that you only care about the physical aspects of her. And just saying 'I don't mean it that way!' is ignorant. Communication is not simply about what you mean, but how you present it.

  
  
  And that's where assumptions come in.
  If i get a compliment, i simply say thank you. Unless it was a sarcastic tone, i have no reason to think otherwise. It's history that men are attracted to beautiful women. And vice versa, physical attraction does pay a part. Not to mention, telling someone to stop without giving a reason when in the other person's mind said something polite and respectful isn't respectful either.
  
  Personally i don't compliment people randomly.
• Kaon wrote on 2014-11-02 05:20

  Quote from Aubog007;1252887:

  And that's where assumptions come in.
  If i get a compliment, i simply say thank you. Unless it was a sarcastic tone, i have no reason to think otherwise. It's history that men are attracted to beautiful women. And vice versa, physical attraction does pay a part. Not to mention, telling someone to stop without giving a reason when in the other person's mind said something polite and respectful isn't respectful either.
  
  Personally i don't compliment people randomly.

  
  
  Yeah, assumptions are generally the issue... but I feel like people in general don't care enough about the message they're giving, beyond what they feel like they're saying. Communication should be a mutual exchange, and saying things however you want with no care to how it comes across is nothing other than one sided.
  
  Whether or not people intend these compliments well or not, the context isn't limited to just what one person says.. a history of objectified and disrespectful comments have been created, and it's ignorant to just disregard that if you really intent to compliment anyone. A real compliment is not about what you say, but about how you make a person feel. In our society now, it's not intelligent to expect comments like these to go over well with people you don't know, and in that case, you don't really care how the compliment makes the other person feel. It's more about, either, the pat on the back 'hey I complimented someone, I'm such a great person', or the hopes she's 'available'.
• Yoorah wrote on 2014-11-02 06:40

  Quote from Ninjam;1252826:

  Cant we just re-focus everyone on "anti harassment" instead of "feminism"? It seems to me that the main problem it a small subset of people that are clearly insane. Those same men that are harassing and catcalling are probably the same ones that get into drunken fights with other men at the bars, or screamed obscenities outside of my house at 3am and tried to punch a hole in the screen when I opened my window to tell them to stop.

  
  
  You hit the nail on the head. Unfortunately, typical SJW BS gets in the way of reason and just being "anti harassment" in general doesn't make those people feel special enough. I'm sure that many feminists are well-intentioned, but what many fail to realize is that this kind of strategy inherently leads towards polarization, which alienates many of those who stand in the middle, and will certainly not convince those who are already against it, for whatever reason. It leads to stuff like this:
  [video=youtube;iARHCxAMAO0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iARHCxAMAO0[/video]
  An author came to give a talk about mens' issues at the University of Toronto, and local feminist students organized to try to shut down the event by blocking entrances, pulling fire alarms and harassing attendees. Really embarrassing because this happened at Canada's top school, in my own city. :| This could really be a topic of its own, though.
  
  

  Quote from k1nsoo;1252883:

  I do find most of stuffs or activities (like Jesus, that guy was following right next to her for few minutes) are clearly disgusting and sexually "harassing" but what some of guys have said, it could be a complimentary instead of intending to "sexually harass" someone. Maybe it's because I live in Miami where drivers constantly open up their windows and whistle, but I mean, come on, stuff like "God bless you mami" or "What's up beautiful, have a good day", you can commonly see this in places like pub. But then again, I think it all depends on women-- some will appreciate those whistling--some will be disgusted on it.

  
  To be fair, what's acceptable at a pub isn't necessarily acceptable on the street. Some of their compliments are pretty trashy, but then again, there's a good chance that they're trashy people who cause more trouble than just make those dumb comments, as per Ninjam's point. Unfortunately, that's not something you can fix.
• Murasaki wrote on 2014-11-02 07:08
  Women who call themselves feminists but obstruct equality really get on my fucking nerves. There's a word for trying to hinder someone's rights based on their sex. Sexism. Ugh.
  
  It's upsetting that legitimate problems get overshadowed by shitty behavior. Men have problems too, and it's sad that their fellow men put them down for trying to express that. It's even more upsetting when women do this, because women should know what it feels like to have expectations pushed on them based on their sex or their gender.
  
  EDIT:
  
  And then I run into shit like this:
  [video=youtubeold;grV1iDns87s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grV1iDns87s[/video]
  
  Is this the real life....
• Aubog007 wrote on 2014-11-02 07:20

  Quote from Kaon;1252888:

  Yeah, assumptions are generally the issue... but I feel like people in general don't care enough about the message they're giving, beyond what they feel like they're saying. Communication should be a mutual exchange, and saying things however you want with no care to how it comes across is nothing other than one sided.
  
  Whether or not people intend these compliments well or not, the context isn't limited to just what one person says.. a history of objectified and disrespectful comments have been created, and it's ignorant to just disregard that if you really intent to compliment anyone. A real compliment is not about what you say, but about how you make a person feel. In our society now, it's not intelligent to expect comments like these to go over well with people you don't know, and in that case, you don't really care how the compliment makes the other person feel. It's more about, either, the pat on the back 'hey I complimented someone, I'm such a great person', or the hopes she's 'available'.

  
  
  I guess i look on the bright side of things and always try to see the good in people and their intentions.
• Aubog007 wrote on 2014-11-02 07:20

  Quote from Kaon;1252888:

  Yeah, assumptions are generally the issue... but I feel like people in general don't care enough about the message they're giving, beyond what they feel like they're saying. Communication should be a mutual exchange, and saying things however you want with no care to how it comes across is nothing other than one sided.
  
  Whether or not people intend these compliments well or not, the context isn't limited to just what one person says.. a history of objectified and disrespectful comments have been created, and it's ignorant to just disregard that if you really intent to compliment anyone. A real compliment is not about what you say, but about how you make a person feel. In our society now, it's not intelligent to expect comments like these to go over well with people you don't know, and in that case, you don't really care how the compliment makes the other person feel. It's more about, either, the pat on the back 'hey I complimented someone, I'm such a great person', or the hopes she's 'available'.

  
  
  I guess i look on the bright side of things and always try to see the good in people and their intentions.
• Kaon wrote on 2014-11-02 07:26

  Quote from Aubog007;1252894:

  I guess i look on the bright side of things and always try to see the good in people and their intentions.

  
  
  I agree with the mindset, but with this kind of thing, that's not the issue. Essentially, society has created a bad habit, and we don't want that to be something we continue to encourage. It's honestly scary to wonder 'if I react positively to this comment, will they take it as an invitation? will it get worse?'
  
  And that's a very valid fear. It shouldn't have to be.
• Kaeporo wrote on 2014-11-02 08:01

  Quote from Murasaki;1252893:

  Women who call themselves feminists but obstruct equality really get on my fucking nerves. There's a word for trying to hinder someone's rights based on their sex. Sexism. Ugh.
  
  It's upsetting that legitimate problems get overshadowed by shitty behavior. Men have problems too, and it's sad that their fellow men put them down for trying to express that. It's even more upsetting when women do this, because women should know what it feels like to have expectations pushed on them based on their sex or their gender.
  
  EDIT:
  
  And then I run into shit like this:
  [video=youtubeold;grV1iDns87s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grV1iDns87s[/video]
  
  Is this the real life....

  
  
  I spent around two minutes reading through that absolutely abhorrent comments section. It's like YouTube and Tumblr had nasty little nightmare babies.
  
  Sexism/Racism everywhere. What few people attempt to make logical arguments are shunted by the sheer volume of hatred and ignorance of others.
• Aubog007 wrote on 2014-11-02 10:17

  Quote from Kaon;1252896:

  I agree with the mindset, but with this kind of thing, that's not the issue. Essentially, society has created a bad habit, and we don't want that to be something we continue to encourage. It's honestly scary to wonder 'if I react positively to this comment, will they take it as an invitation? will it get worse?'
  
  And that's a very valid fear. It shouldn't have to be.

  
  
  Well, there's really nothing that i can do about it. Society isn't going to change unless it's a generational thing.
  
  In other words, nothing's going to happen until generations pass. As evidented by Kaeporo's quote as well.
• Campylobacter jejuni wrote on 2014-11-02 10:34

  Quote from k1nsoo;1252883:

  but I mean, come on, stuff like "God bless you mami" or "What's up beautiful, have a good day", you can commonly see this in places like pub. But then again, I think it all depends on women-- some will appreciate those whistling--some will be disgusted on it.

  
  I found "god bless you mami" one of the more embarassing examples. That may be found in pubs, but it should stay there.
• Lewd wrote on 2014-11-02 18:12
  So after walking through a city of 8.4 million people she only had ~100 people try to hit on her?
  That really doesn't seem like a problem to me
  A lot of those were just people saying hello too
  
  That's less than 1% of the population that actually catcalls, so statistically saying, its impossible to walk through NYC and have a man hit on you
• Space Pirate Nithiel wrote on 2014-11-02 18:20

  Quote from Lewd;1252942:

  So after walking through a city of 8.4 million people she only had ~100 people try to hit on her?
  That really doesn't seem like a problem to me
  A lot of those were just people saying hello too
  
  That's less than 1% of the population that actually catcalls, so statistically saying, its impossible to walk through NYC and have a man hit on you

  
  
  It's true. I've walked through NYC a couple times before and no men hit on me.
• Osayidan wrote on 2014-11-02 18:27

  Quote from Lewd;1252942:

  So after walking through a city of 8.4 million people she only had ~100 people try to hit on her?
  That really doesn't seem like a problem to me
  A lot of those were just people saying hello too
  
  That's less than 1% of the population that actually catcalls, so statistically saying, its impossible to walk through NYC and have a man hit on you

  
  
  That's assuming all 8.4m people are
  1) males old enough to do this kind of behavior
  2) every single one of them is lined up around the streets she walked through so they actually see her
  
  The real statistics would be 100 out of how many people she actually crossed paths with.
  
  100 in 10 hours is still 10 per hour.
  
  Though I disagree that every single one of those things could be considered being hit on. I've had random people tell me to have a good day, though I live in Canada and apparently everyone here is supposed to be polite.
• Murasaki wrote on 2014-11-02 18:51

  Quote from Kaeporo;1252899:

  I spent around two minutes reading through that absolutely abhorrent comments section. It's like YouTube and Tumblr had nasty little nightmare babies.
  
  Sexism/Racism everywhere. What few people attempt to make logical arguments are shunted by the sheer volume of hatred and ignorance of others.

  
  
  Comments sections on anything even potentially related to differences and rights based on said differences terrify me. It's like my faith in humanity is threatened when I read them, so I try to stay away. I won't even get started on women in the gaming industry. That's its own little monster and I think there's enough drama surrounding that already. Disgusting things all around.
• SlurpTASTY wrote on 2014-11-02 19:41

  Quote from Murasaki;1252948:

  Comments sections on anything even potentially related to differences and rights based on said differences terrify me. It's like my faith in humanity is threatened when I read them, so I try to stay away. I won't even get started on women in the gaming industry. That's its own little monster and I think there's enough drama surrounding that already. Disgusting things all around.

  
  
  GO KACEYTRON!!!